Natsume21 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Okay folks, before I forget, I want to record this. I'll make it short. Met this girl online(story started off funny. She got stuck in a mudhole, lol) I got her out and took her out to eat, which started off awkward but as time went on we got more into it. Afterwards, since it was night, she wanted to go to a quiet place...I took her to my school. It was amazing stuff. We talked, cuddled, kissed(a lot) It lasted for hours. She was very affectionate but was such a tease. During the date though, she explained to me that she doesn't commit to anyone cause she's been hurt, so she has different guys she wants to try out. Kinda caught me off guard, but she's 20 so I really shouldn't have been surprised. She kept sending me these mixed signals. Like she was being affectionate but was scared to and kept playing it off. We did not have sex. Actually kinda respected her for it. She said I was different from the guys she knows. I'm really confused. Did it go well?
drdre Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 What are you confused about specifically? I dont see mixed signals. She likes you - she was affectionate, you guys made out a bunch and hung out. She is just not looking for a serious relationship sounds like. She wants to date you and possibly other people and keep her options open. What are YOU looking for? If casually dating her, knowing that she may also be dating other people, is not something you are willing to try, then you need to let her know and bow out. If I was in your shoes, I'd continue dating her and see what happens. Maybe after a while she will realize she likes you best and commit. Maybe she will like someone else best and end things with you. Either way, if I liked her, I would want to see it through.
mammasita Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 It sounds like it went well but she was being standoffish. I tend to do that when I really like someone and I'm trying to reel myself in from going too far. She's sounds very honest, that's good and rare. Are you trying to be a part of her stable?
Author Natsume21 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Well, don't know. She definitely made it clear she can't have me falling in love with her, cause she doesn't want to commit. That was actually before she and I started this date thing. She says "We don't know where we're gonna end up, so why settle down?" I like how she's honest. She's definitely not commitment material. Problem is, I'm developing feelings for her. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP.
mammasita Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Well, don't know. She definitely made it clear she can't have me falling in love with her, cause she doesn't want to commit. That was actually before she and I started this date thing. She says "We don't know where we're gonna end up, so why settle down?" I like how she's honest. She's definitely not commitment material. Problem is, I'm developing feelings for her. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP. Realistically though are you developing feelings based on something real (time together, comon interests, comon goals, similar sense of humor....etc). OR are you developing feelings based on the fact that she said up front you can never have her and somehow your brain/man parts are telling you that you want to have her. I mean, you just met her, right?
Author Natsume21 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Realistically though are you developing feelings based on something real (time together, comon interests, comon goals, similar sense of humor....etc). OR are you developing feelings based on the fact that she said up front you can never have her and somehow your brain/man parts are telling you that you want to have her. I mean, you just met her, right? I think it's my ego coming to play here. I talk to other girls but this one irks me. Yikes.
Author Natsume21 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Any other time I would have told the chick to shove it whenever I get the "Let's be friends" card, which is exactly what that was. While I don't mind the fact she doesn't want to settle down, cause im cool with that. I REFUSE to be put in the list of just friends with someone like that, distance or not. I don't want to be a shoulder to cry on.
Author Natsume21 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Ironically, the woman that is into me I'm afraid of committing to because she's MUCH older, but she's been more loyal to me than the girl who I just dated. Maybe I should take away all of my options and try, for a bit, to focus on the 38 year old I'm with.
mammasita Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Ironically, the woman that is into me I'm afraid of committing to because she's MUCH older, but she's been more loyal to me than the girl who I just dated. Maybe I should take away all of my options and try, for a bit, to focus on the 38 year old I'm with. I don't blame you for being afraid of committing. How old are you? I just turned 39, so if you're anywhere about 25 or below, I'd feel extremely weird about having a real relationship with someone that much younger than me. Even younger than 25? even more weird.
Author Natsume21 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 younger than 25. Can't seem to find a nice medium, hahahaha.
Omei Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 She likes you and is honest... Openly tells you she's dating regularly and isn't making a commitment based on a single dates. Are you not speaking to other people too? Just because she doesn't want to commit so soon doesn't mean she's not the committing type.
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