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Posted

It just occurred to me. 6 year relationship/engagement. Kind of a milestone I suppose? It feels so long ago, but at the same time still somewhat fresh? I haven't had any contact since she contacted me in early December, except for the the "sabotage" episode a few weeks back where she stalked and contacted a girl I was seeing to "warn" her about me. I don't feel like I would even know her anymore. I don't necessarily miss her, the time a part has given me some clarity on why things didn't work. Having said that, I don't know if I am completely over everything. I think what I miss the most is the idea of the future we were suppose to share together, along with the attachment and familiarity that came with it. What is the best way to deal with this?

 

She moved on 4 months post BU and is still with the guy as far as I know. She desperately wants marriage and kids so I think she will settle and end up marrying this guy. Given her controlling, likely BPD tendencies, he seems like a safe bet for her. I have dated a fair amount and met some really awesome women, but none that is have envisioned much of a future with. That is the hardest thing, I would like to move forward and find that life partner but it just hasn't happened yet. I at fearful sometimes it that it won't happen, but I remain hopeful.

Posted

10 months for me & I feel just the same! x

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Posted
It just occurred to me. 6 year relationship/engagement. Kind of a milestone I suppose? It feels so long ago, but at the same time still somewhat fresh? I haven't had any contact since she contacted me in early December, except for the the "sabotage" episode a few weeks back where she stalked and contacted a girl I was seeing to "warn" her about me. I don't feel like I would even know her anymore. I don't necessarily miss her, the time a part has given me some clarity on why things didn't work. Having said that, I don't know if I am completely over everything. I think what I miss the most is the idea of the future we were suppose to share together, along with the attachment and familiarity that came with it. What is the best way to deal with this?

 

She moved on 4 months post BU and is still with the guy as far as I know. She desperately wants marriage and kids so I think she will settle and end up marrying this guy. Given her controlling, likely BPD tendencies, he seems like a safe bet for her. I have dated a fair amount and met some really awesome women, but none that is have envisioned much of a future with. That is the hardest thing, I would like to move forward and find that life partner but it just hasn't happened yet. I at fearful sometimes it that it won't happen, but I remain hopeful.

 

Wow I know how you feel brother. My ex left a year ago also into someone else's arms. She's also desperate for kids and a family/husband she is 27 now. I have dreams of us marrying. Lol silly me, it's been a long time coming it still hurts but less every day.

 

How will you know they won't come back? How do you know it's truly over? I'll guess ill never know.. I guess that's just NC at its best, they do say they come back? I guess we can only forget the old, the BU happened. NC to Reflect on my self value and maybe I'll find a hot girl like her again..

Posted

Just keep on keeping on. Keep being the awesome you you know you can be, and one day you will likely be so lucky to have someone recognize how awesome you are, and you will see their specialness as well.

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Posted
10 months for me & I feel just the same! x

 

Bet you're actually doing much better, but just can't see it, as it's been small improvements!! Keep up the good work ;)

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Posted

One year after a six year relationship isn't that long in the grand scheme of things. If you've been meeting other some awesome women as you say in this time then surely that's a great signt that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Life partners are the ones who are special to us for various reasons important to our individual needs/desires. Not everyone we meet is that special to us or fully compatable. We are all unique, so finding the person who truly fits isn't going to be a walk in the park, buts it IS going to happen as long as you don't give up and be true to yourself.

 

Enjoy living your life and meeting new people. That's part of the fun, or at least that's how I'm looking at it after 7 months post BU.

 

Patience is the key.

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Posted

Thank you everyone for the support and kind words. LS has been tremendous in helping me heal and move on. It's been one year and although I don't feel completely over everything, the amount of progress I have made and knowledge I have gained in dealing with this has been huge. I am almost there, I hope if anything it gives hope to those who are earlier in the process!

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