HeartinPain Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Hell, The girl said she's down to go out for a drink I decided to ask her out directly, and after one day wait she replied and said she's down to go out for a drink with me. the only thing that is confusing is she said "haha okay" at the beginning of the text. I don't get it, does she think this whole ask out thing is funny? Good for you! I wouldn't think too much into her text. Have fun and update us!
erodeox Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 I hate texting. This has happened so many times to me, the conversation is going well then it just stops. Just last week got a text from a man who was silent for 5 weeks to the day. He asks why I didn't text, I sent him two with no answer over 2 of those weeks. I got the point.. For this reason I am hesitant to text too much. I hate games, but its such a delicate process. And I wish men would just call sometimes. Phone calls are so rare, and I miss them. For some women, when called, they just don't pick up the phone. For the first few times, there were excuses like "Sorry I didn't have my phone with me" But now...no excuses at all... Men like direct answers like "Please stop I am not interested" .
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 (edited) This is a follow up thread to this one I made earlier Old thread summing it up really briefly, the girl is a classmate who I tried to ask out through a text indirectly, she replied after 5 days, without addressing my text directly. I texted her after that asking her out more directly and this time she said she was up for it. I said cool let me know when you are free. I didn't contact her up until today (a little less than a week ago). I texted her tonight and asked her if she was going to be in my area the following week (she lives in a city a hour away). She replied an hour later and said she doesn't think she will be in the area this week, she then sent a second text where she said she is taking classes weekdays in her city so she's going to be in her city for the most part this summer. The thing that is bothering me in this case is, while the girl is probably telling the truth, she isn't really going out out of her way to meet up or reassure me in some way. and I feel that if she was interested she'd at least take some steps to make it work. I suppose she could be thinking that I could drive up to her city since its the hub city in this area and a lot of people drive to that city to hangout. But I just feel like I need a reassurance that this girl is actually interested and not just playing along. What makes the situation more difficult is the fact that I don't have a car at the moment, I am in the process of getting a new one though. I can make the trip to the city with my friends I suppose, because they often make the trip to the city for a night out, but then I would need to coordinate things somehow. question: 1. Do you think this girl is interested or is she just leading me on/playing along? 2. What should I do? tell her I m cool with hanging at her city? or just forget about this girl? Edited June 1, 2014 by you_can_not_see_me
ExpatInItaly Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 This is a follow up thread to this one I made earlier Old thread summing it up really briefly, the girl is a classmate who I tried to ask out through a text indirectly, she replied after 5 days, without addressing my text directly. I texted her after that asking her out more directly and this time she said she was up for it. I said cool let me know when you are free. I didn't contact her since then (a little less than a week ago). I texted her tonight and asked her if she was going to be in my area the following week (she lives in a city a hour away). She replied an hour later and said she doesn't think she will be in the area this week, she then sent a second text where she said she is taking classes weekdays in her city so she's going to be in her city for the most part this summer. The thing that is bothering me in this case is, while the girl is probably telling the truth, she isn't really going out out of her way to meet up or reassure me in some way. and I feel that if she was interested she'd at least take some steps to make it work. I suppose she could be thinking that I could drive up to her city since its the hub city in this area and a lot of people drive to that city to hangout. But I just feel like I need a reassurance that this girl is actually interested and not just playing along. What makes the situation more difficult is the fact that I don't have a car at the moment, I am in the process of getting a new one though. I can make the trip to the city with my friends I suppose, because they often make the trip to the city for a night out, but then I would need to coordinate things somehow. question: 1. Do you think this girl is interested or is she just leading me on/playing along? 2. What should I do? tell her I m cool with hanging at her city? or just forget about this girl? Exactly. Sorry, OP...she isn't interested. She just doesn't have the cojones to tell you that. I wouldn't bother pursuing this any further.
MissionPossible Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I wouldn't discount her, necessarily. Recently I'd been talking to a guy I met (lives 100 miles away) who I liked and wanted to see again. We both have busy lives though, so nothing really matched up for almost 2 months. It's not like I avoided him on purpose. Finally he ended up driving several hundred miles to see me when I was out of town somewhere else. I thought it was so awesome of him to do so that afterward it raised my opinion of him drastically. Generally the advice on here is along the lines of "give up, bro, she doesn't like you". But I think you can miss a lot of chances that way. Some women who have been hurt a lot in the past need a genuine display of interest before they will let down their guard (I'm guilty). Give it a shot - you never know what might happen.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 I wouldn't discount her, necessarily. Recently I'd been talking to a guy I met (lives 100 miles away) who I liked and wanted to see again. We both have busy lives though, so nothing really matched up for almost 2 months. It's not like I avoided him on purpose. Finally he ended up driving several hundred miles to see me when I was out of town somewhere else. I thought it was so awesome of him to do so that afterward it raised my opinion of him drastically. Generally the advice on here is along the lines of "give up, bro, she doesn't like you". But I think you can miss a lot of chances that way. Some women who have been hurt a lot in the past need a genuine display of interest before they will let down their guard (I'm guilty). Give it a shot - you never know what might happen. Here's the thing though. So far I have pretty much been initiating things up to this point, the girl should know by this point that I like her, why else would I be initiating **** and asking her out? I am ok with taking the active role here, but it would be reassuring if she at least initiated stuff once in a while. Why would she say yes to a date, but then be so coy about the whole situation? I know the girl is kinda shy, but she goes to all sorts of parties, she can't be that shy. so what do you say? should I suggest we meet up at her city?
d0nnivain Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I don't know if she's interested or not because from what you have posted about your actions, I highly doubt she has a clue that you are interested. What do you mean when you "tried to ask her out through a text indirectly? To mean that sentence means you tried but failed to ask her & even if you had managed to get the Q out, it was so indirect that she may have missed it. If you are going to be in her city & you know in advance, pick up the phone, call her (don't text) and say -- I'm going to be in your city on Friday. Do you want to grab a drink or meal with me? Be specific & direct. Depending on her answer you will know if she's interested or evasive.
toml Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I wouldn't discount her, necessarily. Recently I'd been talking to a guy I met (lives 100 miles away) who I liked and wanted to see again. We both have busy lives though, so nothing really matched up for almost 2 months. It's not like I avoided him on purpose. Finally he ended up driving several hundred miles to see me when I was out of town somewhere else. I thought it was so awesome of him to do so that afterward it raised my opinion of him drastically. Generally the advice on here is along the lines of "give up, bro, she doesn't like you". But I think you can miss a lot of chances that way. Some women who have been hurt a lot in the past need a genuine display of interest before they will let down their guard (I'm guilty). Give it a shot - you never know what might happen. do girls really think like this? is that not creepy
BlueIris Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 (edited) This is a follow up thread to this one I made earlier Old thread summing it up really briefly, the girl is a classmate who I tried to ask out through a text indirectly, she replied after 5 days, without addressing my text directly. I texted her after that asking her out more directly and this time she said she was up for it. I said cool let me know when you are free. I didn't contact her up until today (a little less than a week ago). I texted her tonight and asked her if she was going to be in my area the following week (she lives in a city a hour away). She replied an hour later and said she doesn't think she will be in the area this week, she then sent a second text where she said she is taking classes weekdays in her city so she's going to be in her city for the most part this summer. The thing that is bothering me in this case is, while the girl is probably telling the truth, she isn't really going out out of her way to meet up or reassure me in some way. and I feel that if she was interested she'd at least take some steps to make it work. I suppose she could be thinking that I could drive up to her city since its the hub city in this area and a lot of people drive to that city to hangout. But I just feel like I need a reassurance that this girl is actually interested and not just playing along. What makes the situation more difficult is the fact that I don't have a car at the moment, I am in the process of getting a new one though. I can make the trip to the city with my friends I suppose, because they often make the trip to the city for a night out, but then I would need to coordinate things somehow. question: 1. Do you think this girl is interested or is she just leading me on/playing along? 2. What should I do? tell her I m cool with hanging at her city? or just forget about this girl? It's on you, not her. You asked if she'd like to go out- by text- and then asked her to tell you when. To me, that's not an invitation. I'd expect someone to pick up the phone and make a specific plan. Then you asked if she was going to be near you, convenient for you. To me, that's not a sign that you like her at all, just that you'd be okay with killing time with her if you don't have to go out of your way. She's not leading you on or playing along. You still haven't even asked her out on a date. What should you do? If you want to date her, make a plan for a date. Stop dumping everything in her lap. But really, since you don't have a car and wouldn't be able to sustain a relationship with her anyway, I recommend not pursuing this. Date someone who lives closer to you and who you can spend time with more easily. Edited June 1, 2014 by BlueIris
morbot_k Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Ball is is your court buddy. You asked her out...kinda...and now want her to plan out the details on how? She's telling you her situation, it's up to you to make it happen. Her interest in you isn't even an issue yet. She agreed to a date, she's waiting on you to figure out how. You wanted the date, you figure it out. How can you worry if she is "interested" even. She was open to going on a date with you, what more do you want? You have to inspire someone to be interested in you. It just doesn't happen over a few text messages.
MissionPossible Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I don't know if she's interested or not because from what you have posted about your actions, I highly doubt she has a clue that you are interested. What do you mean when you "tried to ask her out through a text indirectly? To mean that sentence means you tried but failed to ask her & even if you had managed to get the Q out, it was so indirect that she may have missed it. If you are going to be in her city & you know in advance, pick up the phone, call her (don't text) and say -- I'm going to be in your city on Friday. Do you want to grab a drink or meal with me? Be specific & direct. Depending on her answer you will know if she's interested or evasive. ^^^^ This!!! It sounds like you have not communicated your interest clearly. Honestly, if a guy asked me if I wanted to hang out some time, then I said "yes" and he responded "well text me when you're free", I would probably never text, even if I was interested. It's lazy and that to me does not at all indicate interest on the guy's part…generally if a guy likes me I am only sure of it once he's gone out of his way to see me or make it happen.
MissionPossible Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 (edited) do girls really think like this? is that not creepy No…I thought it was awesome! Granted, I invited him (sort of). Since yet another weekend was coming up where I was out of town and we'd been talking about hanging out for 2 months, I was just joking with him, as in "Well if you want to drive to XXX city we can finally get a chance to meet up." I really didn't think he would actually do it. Once he did I started taking him a lot more seriously, things have just gotten better from there. I mean think about it from a woman's perspective - what type of person would YOU want to date - someone who says "oh lets hang out" and then tells you to make the rest of the plans (I'm not the man nor the one who initiated so why the hell am I being expected to plan the date) or someone who likes you enough to drive 400 miles so you can spend a couple days together? Girls like men who take charge, that is their job. This is a total no-brainer. Edited June 1, 2014 by MissionPossible
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 I don't know if she's interested or not because from what you have posted about your actions, I highly doubt she has a clue that you are interested. What do you mean when you "tried to ask her out through a text indirectly? To mean that sentence means you tried but failed to ask her & even if you had managed to get the Q out, it was so indirect that she may have missed it. If you are going to be in her city & you know in advance, pick up the phone, call her (don't text) and say -- I'm going to be in your city on Friday. Do you want to grab a drink or meal with me? Be specific & direct. Depending on her answer you will know if she's interested or evasive. That was the first time. I texted her after that and specifically said "I ll be more direct I want to ask you out for a drink", she agreed to go out when she replied to that text. so she definitely knows I am interested and have romantic intentions cause she agreed to a non specific date.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 It's on you, not her. You asked if she'd like to go out- by text- and then asked her to tell you when. To me, that's not an invitation. I'd expect someone to pick up the phone and make a specific plan. Then you asked if she was going to be near you, convenient for you. To me, that's not a sign that you like her at all, just that you'd be okay with killing time with her if you don't have to go out of your way. She's not leading you on or playing along. You still haven't even asked her out on a date. What should you do? If you want to date her, make a plan for a date. Stop dumping everything in her lap. But really, since you don't have a car and wouldn't be able to sustain a relationship with her anyway, I recommend not pursuing this. Date someone who lives closer to you and who you can spend time with more easily. Oh but I have, and she agreed to it, It just haven't set a day or time, but she agreed to go on a date. The girl will be back in my city when school starts again, and I may get a car soon. My only concern is that don't want to drive up to this girl's city and have it turn out that she wasn't all that interested. that would be a waste of time.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Ball is is your court buddy. You asked her out...kinda...and now want her to plan out the details on how? She's telling you her situation, it's up to you to make it happen. Her interest in you isn't even an issue yet. She agreed to a date, she's waiting on you to figure out how. You wanted the date, you figure it out. How can you worry if she is "interested" even. She was open to going on a date with you, what more do you want? You have to inspire someone to be interested in you. It just doesn't happen over a few text messages. :mad:so not only did I have to risk rejection, but I have to also make all the effort? Seems a little unfair. alright, I ll figure out an exact time and day and inform her. I just hope I am not wasting my time.
BlueIris Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 (edited) Yeah, don’t bother. And don’t contact her any more. You’re sending mixed signals (kind of) since you’re not that into her. Don’t waste your time. And people don't usually "inform" someone to do something; they invite or ask. It IS fair. The positive, courageous and determined win. Edited June 1, 2014 by BlueIris
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Alright I got to the bottom of this. I texted her today and said I can make a trip to her city next weekend, I asked her if a certain day would work for her. I got a text back from her saying she was going to be to be too busy to hang for the next two months. yeah right! I m cool with forgetting about this girl, but I am upset that instead of just telling me she wasn't interested, she said she was ready to go out and **** like that. Is she so short sighted that she couldn't see that she would eventually need to reject me in someway? why not do it at the beginning and not lead me on.
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