question4me Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I hope I'm writing this on the right section. I couple of days ago I slept with a girl I recently started talking to. She drank a little and then we had sex, when when we were done we talked a little and then I left. yesterday she asked me if we had sex… wtf? she claims that she drank and couldn't remember. yet she was completely fine, although I did see her stumble once, but after everything we actually talked and she didn't look drunk… I told her I felt like **** and that it was best if we were just friends, she then said she regretted being honest and wanted to sleep with me and asked me if i wanted to be more than friends… so the question is… wtf is going on.. is she playing games or is she being serious?
mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 When a woman says that, she is actually saying that she wants to forget the fact it ever happened. Circumstances leading to it aside, she regrets it and is trying to eliminate you from the event itself. No one is that jaded or is ever that drunk/high.
Mrin Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 This thread is dying for the do not want dog pic. http://www.blinkydog.com/wp-content/uploads/Dogs-Do-Not-Want-2.jpg That's pretty jacked up. How old is she?
Trimmer Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 When a woman says that, she is actually saying that she wants to forget the fact it ever happened. Circumstances leading to it aside, she regrets it and is trying to eliminate you from the event itself. No one is that jaded or is ever that drunk/high. I would normally tend to agree, but it doesn't seem consistent with that scenario that she would then say she wanted to sleep with him, and wanted to be more than friends... If she was really wanting to forget it and eliminate him from the memory - whether consciously or subconsciously - I would think she would stick to the simple "I don't remember", minimize any other comments, and get off the subject - certainly not circling right back around to wanting to sleep with him and be more than friends. 3
Dallers Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 You would be able to tell how drunk a person is depending on how the sex went. If she was running the show at any point she knew what she was doing and would not forget it that easily. Games my friend, games.
Omei Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 (edited) I would normally tend to agree, but it doesn't seem consistent with that scenario that she would then say she wanted to sleep with him, and wanted to be more than friends... If she was really wanting to forget it and eliminate him from the memory - whether consciously or subconsciously - I would think she would stick to the simple "I don't remember", minimize any other comments, and get off the subject - certainly not circling right back around to wanting to sleep with him and be more than friends. Gonna have to agree with this why on earth would she suggest being intimate again only to have to find another excuse to rid of you? When I get smashed my friends tell me im hardly any different they always try to make me drink more but I never go passed what I can handle and the night can still be fuzzy, maybe she is just the same and carry's it really well? Not everyone acts like a idiot drunk. Why dont you be sober next time yall are together sexually. Edited June 1, 2014 by Omei
Trimmer Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Gonna have to agree with this why on earth would she suggest being intimate again only to have to find another excuse to rid of you? When I get smashed my friends tell me im hardly any different they always try to make me drink more but I never go passed what I can handle and the night can still be fuzzy, maybe she is just the same and carry's it really well? Not everyone acts like a idiot drunk. Why dont you be sober next time yall are together sexually. Yeah - your possibilities are either (1) she really didn't remember, so was generally in physical control but the memory was wiped, or (2) she's playing a weeeeeird game with the "claims she doesn't remember but wants to do it again" thing. #2 so incongruous, I'd lean towards #1 unless you see some other kind of evidence that she's a big game player... And I agree on the "try it sober" suggestion.
Art_Critic Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I'm not one for cranking down on partying but someone who parties to the point they can't remember and also has sex with a guy while being that wasted is only going to be trouble in the future. Why on earth would you want to be with someone who drinks so much she doesn't remember having your penis inside her ? I'm giving the advice to run from this girl and don't have sex with her again. Who needs that kind of drama ?
SolG Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Hi OP :-) I'm a slight woman, and have a racial background with a propensity for low tolerance to alcohol. I metabolise alcohol very, very poorly. On a few occasions during my youth I experienced black outs from drinking where everyone else thought I was drunkish but fine, but I had no memory of the night whatsoever. As a result, I am now very careful about my alcohol consumption. So it is absolutely possible she is telling the truth. She needs to be more careful and make the effort to know how alcohol works with her body. I'm with the others here that say don't mix sex and alcohol. Sex is way better without it anyway :-)
d0nnivain Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Something doesn't fit. To be so drunk you blackout, there would be other signs of intoxication. Either she is lying about not remembering, or the OP needs to step up his observation skills regarding the behaviors of drunk people. The wrong girl could have screamed date rape. If she wants to have sex again, sober, she probably likes the guy but somthing is off here.
Atticus9292012 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I've slept with someone and regretted it to the point I pretended like I didn't remember. I never saw that guy again though or wanted to. It's kind of odd in this circumstance. She may feel a little ashamed, but honestly if she is that ashamed that is a sign of a bigger issue. Big red flag. I would stay away.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Im presuming she is probably quite young? I said this once but the truth was I could remember but I was a bit embarrassed, I didnt regret it at all but it had happened in the moment and I wasnt sure wether he may have regretted it so got in their first! x I would say she doesnt really regret it just isnt sure what you think x
Author question4me Posted June 2, 2014 Author Posted June 2, 2014 ****UPDATE**** Thanks so much for the replies. She is actually older than me by 5 years… she's a woman, not a young girl.. anyways.. she keeps texting like nothing happened… but I've noticed she texts me a lot more when she is drunk, idk what kind of game this is…
MalachiX Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I can't say how other people's body chemistry works but the whole, "I don't remember" thing usually seems oddly convenient to me. I've been incredibly drunk and still remembered the previous night. I might get confused on the order of events or have a few blurry moments but the night is still there. In my experience, you the only time you blank is when you're about to pass out. You can't really have sex with someone if you're in black out mode. That's why most of us consider having sex with someone that incapacitated as a form of sexual assault. It sure didn't sound like she was anywhere near that drunk so my guess is that there's some kind of game going on here even though it's hard to ascertain her motives.
Priv Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 ****UPDATE**** Thanks so much for the replies. She is actually older than me by 5 years… she's a woman, not a young girl.. anyways.. she keeps texting like nothing happened… but I've noticed she texts me a lot more when she is drunk, idk what kind of game this is… How often does she get drunk? Anyway, highly unlikely she can't remember the night. As for her motivation for 'not remembering', I really can't think of any.
Perrier Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Sounds like she's ashamed she had sex so soon after meeting you, so she's feigning ignorance. If you are going to be intimate with this woman again, I'd leave all alcohol out of it, and see what happens afterwards.
MalachiX Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 How often does she get drunk? Anyway, highly unlikely she can't remember the night. As for her motivation for 'not remembering', I really can't think of any. Some women are in this weird place where they want to be liberated and enjoy conquests but then feel guilty about them and act in ways that can really sabotage their love life. I've certainly seen women who will have sex with a man early only to grow insecure and decide he must not respect her or be using her just for sex. It's a great way to ruin a relationship. My guess is that she probably liked the OP and was attracted to him so she had sex with him when her inhibitions were lowered and she had an excuse (the booze). Then she probably panicked because she thought that sleeping with him casually would mean a relationship wouldn't be in the cards so she gave herself the, "I was so drunk I don't even remember" out. When he reacted badly, telling her that now he felt terrible about the encounter and they should just be friends, she probably got even more panicked and then hoped to continue things by suggesting they keep having sex but as "more than friends." In her mind, this sex will be different because it will be with the understanding that they aren't just ****buddies. I realize none of this is very logical but I think that's par for the course. So many people have weird hang-ups on having sex early. They jump into bed with someone BECAUSE they suspect they might have real feelings for them but then let their insecurities take hold and use the early sex as a scape goat. Men can do this as well (though most likely to a lesser extent). Hell, known of times when two people who were legitimately interested in each other "hooked-up" and then both worried that the previous night had just been casual sex and thus never ended up dating. Bottom line is that people do a lot of unusual/contradictory things because of insecurity and sexual hang-ups. In my experience, I see a lot more of that than I do of people honestly forgetting a sexual encounter. 2
myothernic2 Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Some women are in this weird place where they want to be liberated and enjoy conquests but then feel guilty about them and act in ways that can really sabotage their love life. I've certainly seen women who will have sex with a man early only to grow insecure and decide he must not respect her or be using her just for sex. It's a great way to ruin a relationship. My guess is that she probably liked the OP and was attracted to him so she had sex with him when her inhibitions were lowered and she had an excuse (the booze). Then she probably panicked because she thought that sleeping with him casually would mean a relationship wouldn't be in the cards so she gave herself the, "I was so drunk I don't even remember" out. When he reacted badly, telling her that now he felt terrible about the encounter and they should just be friends, she probably got even more panicked and then hoped to continue things by suggesting they keep having sex but as "more than friends." In her mind, this sex will be different because it will be with the understanding that they aren't just ****buddies. I realize none of this is very logical but I think that's par for the course. So many people have weird hang-ups on having sex early. They jump into bed with someone BECAUSE they suspect they might have real feelings for them but then let their insecurities take hold and use the early sex as a scape goat. Men can do this as well (though most likely to a lesser extent). Hell, known of times when two people who were legitimately interested in each other "hooked-up" and then both worried that the previous night had just been casual sex and thus never ended up dating. Bottom line is that people do a lot of unusual/contradictory things because of insecurity and sexual hang-ups. In my experience, I see a lot more of that than I do of people honestly forgetting a sexual encounter. I can't believe you're the first person that pointed out the obvious lol
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