Natsume21 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Hi guys....so... Had a date last night, or at least I would have... if I wasn't stood up. This was her insisting as well. I didn't want to do this cause of my current circumstance but she INSISTED. So, in short, I got stood up by a 20 year old. I went along with the date anyway. This is like the 5th time someone under 25 has stood me up for a date. Starting to get annoyed. One minute she was so gung-ho about the whole thing, next minute she seemed to have lost complete interest. I'm not going to lie, even if I saw the signs, doesn't exactly make me feel better. Probably wrong forum to post to but oh well. I didn't want to yell angrily at her so I'm letting off my steam here with you guys. --Natsume21
Author Natsume21 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 Is it wrong for me to feel wronged, even in the situation I find myself in?
Matelow Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 It definitely sucks mate - but she obviously isn't worth your time. Good luck on your next date, I'm sure it will go fine!
Gaeta Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 It suck and it's very angering. I was stood up once, I waited all by myself in that coffee shop for 30 minutes. He had no cellular so I got back home and left him a message online to contact me. I did not hear back from him. I was so mad I wanted to yell at him how dare he make me waste my time like this! A few weeks later he contacted me again, as if we had never spoken before, OMG I let it all out felt good. Sorry about that, don't let it discourage you. 1
Potz4prez Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Eh, **** her. She's doing you the favor of not wasting your time. 1
TigerLilly78 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I'm sorry that happened to you my advice people in their early 20s can tend to be a little flakey "not all" but a lot from my past experience's. Try a older women maybe 30 and up not to sure your age but yeah. Then again seams dating in general is a "game" to a lot of people these days so it can still be hard.. 2
jbelle6 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 That is so inconsiderate, how hard is it to even just shoot a text to someone to let them know you can't make it. I guess you can look at it as you are lucky you got to see that side of her right away. 2
Author Natsume21 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 I'm 23, to whoever asked that. People say I have a "babyface" like Ne-Yo, or Chris Brown. But I hate this feeling.
HappyLove Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 That's horrible you have every right to be upset. Just such a rude thing to do! But yea, at least you're not wasting your time with her or money. It's a blessing in disguise really. I'd start dating older women like over 25. I keep hearing these young ones are VERY flakey!
LostOnes05 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I had the same thing happen to me a few weeks ago buddy. The same girl flaked on me 3 times, so I helped her understand that it was rude and inconsiderate. I told her that if she didn't want to hang out with me, why keep making plans and breaking them. Lesson here is don't deal with flakes, no matter the age. If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't even waste my minutes or texts on my cell phone to call her out. Consider it a blessing in disguise (even though I know you were pissed-cuz I was haha). If a date flakes without a legitimate excuse ( and I mean legitimate) lose the number, keep it moving and say nothing. 2
Potz4prez Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 The problem is, those immature, idiotic, stuck-up, superficial women had kids 0.0
HappyLove Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I experienced the complete opposite. I never EVER had one issue or complaint with women when I was younger and dating women under 30. Now that I'm 43....the ones around my age are the most immature, idiotic, stuck-up, superficial women I have come in contact with. The world has changed A LOT since then! I've recently dated older men thinking the younger ones are immature. The older men in their forties are just as bad actually worse. 2
LostOnes05 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Disagree 110% Say nothing? Bullsh*t! EVERY guy should give the woman a piece of his mind. Saying nothing is exactly what women want us to do. It allows them to continue this behavior, thinking its OK to just f*ck guys over with no repercussions. If more guys would say something.....it WILL change her mind about doing it again. Women do it because its the EASY way out. If you dont make it easy for them they wont continue to do it. What you fail to realize is that giving her a piece of your mind (cussing, etc.) gives them validation. Think about it. It's like calling, emailing, texting an ex that doesn't want to be bothered. You just end up looking like a creep and upsetting yourself. Even in my situation where I calmly told her how I felt, afterward I still felt that I had given too much of my time to someone who listened but obviously didn't care in the first place. Think of how many women get cursed out over the phone or voicemail for this type of thing. Yet it still happens. Why? Because they don't care and although it sucks, you have to recognize this type of person and leave them be. The worst revenge on a flake like this (assuming you see them often) is to take out non-flakey women and show them a good time. Let her see what she missed out on and act like her bailing had no effect on you. And just so we are clear, people will be people. I do not condone this behavior. I think that it is infantile, socially unacceptable, shows a lack of character. However, if a person already displays such personality traits 1) is that someone you really want to have a relationship with? 2) Do you really think your verbal tongue lashing is going to change their behavior? (I highly doubt it).
mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Sorry to hear this, it's a bad thing when someone does it. But don't see it as something wrong with you, just realize that this person is inconsiderate and not someone you want to be with in any way, shape or form. Keep calm and carry on ...
morbot_k Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Best thing you can do is not get upset. First of all, if it's a first date, you have to assume it's a very casual and no big deal situation. This is one reason never to plan a long first date - keep it short that way if someone flakes your evening is not ruined. I wouldn't get angry - it's just part of dating. You don't know why she stood you up, you just know that she didn't show up. You aren't emotionally invested in this person (I hope) and while a bummer, it's easy to laugh off. By showing you don't get angry easily, you show strength and class. Take a humorous approach and laugh it off.
toml Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 maybe she wasnt interested in him. if she liked the guy enough she wudnt have flaked also. also what if u are emotionally invested in a girl by the first date. for example uv been talking loads and for a while and u finally meet as u both live far away so its hard to meet
The Way I Am Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 You're absolutely justified in feeling pissed off that someone wasted your time. Just don't say anything to her. If you criticize her, she'll probably just see it as justification for her rude behavior. Depending on her personality, she might also enjoy the attention. If her parents didn't teach her proper etiquette, nothing you say is going to. You'll send a bigger message by showing her that kind of thing gets her dropped instantly. 1
MissionPossible Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 The world has changed A LOT since then! I've recently dated older men thinking the younger ones are immature. The older men in their forties are just as bad actually worse. Really? I love dating men 7-10 years older, I find they are noticeably more mature than guys in their 20's…especially ones from a generation above me, they seem to take dating/relationships far more seriously. Then again, I love dating guys 7 years younger, too. Different vibe and it makes me feel younger than I am. In the end it probably depends more on the individual than anything else. But to the OP - yeah, I'd call her out and then lose her number. It's completely disrespectful to waste someone's time like that, and it's virtually guaranteed she'll keep doing it to more people than just you. At 20 she's probably not going to change that behavior any time soon, but if enough people call her out on it she may start to rethink her actions.
Author Natsume21 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Good news is guys, she ended up coming last minute. Bad news is that while the date went well, my date, sadly, was not as awesome as I had hoped. Whole time I kept getting mixed messages. "I like you but I don't want to commit but we can just be friends" I don't care the reasoning, if I go on a date with you and in any way, shape, or form you throw the "friends" sign, even if the date went well, which it did I seriously contemplated not talking further.
morbot_k Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 When I say give them a piece of your mind, I dont mean get all pissed off and shout at them over the phone. Sending a simple text message is good enough. Ive sent messages such as "Thanks for the not showing up...real classy behavior on your part" I have actually had a few women "come clean" with me after sending them a text message, calling them out on their crappy behavior. Granted, I didnt date them, but it was worth the effort to get them to open up and divulge the cause for their actions. Yes, but the quote you have comes across as pissy. And while calling people out on their crappy behavior may get an admission, it won't make anything better if it's super early in a relationship. I have been stood up before. One time, just once, it turned out that the girl had taken pain killers for a turned ankle she had and overslept her alarm, woke up and was embarrassed and assumed I would never talk to her or believe her. When I was stood up, I didn't text or call her. I knew what had happened and there is no need for calling out. I just texted some buds and asked what they were up to and had fun that night. 3 weeks later I sent her a text saying, "hey, sorry for standing you up 3 weeks ago, my phone died and I was stuck in traffic. I feel terrible and I am sure you don't ever want to talk to me again" She called me back right away and just laughed. We ended up dating for 4 months. She was never late - not once.
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