JahnJahn Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 My first thread did not get that many responses and I'm still quite confused on how I'm feeling. In the time leading up to the BU (I felt it was going to happen) I made a lot of mistakes e.g. not giving her time to think or even be understanding when she raised her issue (G.I.G.S), not letting her go to figure things out (I felt that we could move past this without taking into account her confusion) and then later when she admitted what was truly going on (other problems and she told me she stopped talking to the other guy) I still never bad the balls to let her go. Anyway, I know her routine and after the breakup she spend almost 2 days out extremely late (she never did this before until recently - mid April to now) but I managed to realise it's non of my business. Few days NC and she calls me at 4am and sends me a message "forever and ever?... :(" which is something we always said to each other and it would end our arguments and we would be happier after that. Not sure whether to send her a message back or just keep NC? I really want her back and now that I've accepted it's over, I realise I never said some things to her that I feel I need to. Should I wait until she explicitly states she wants to talk or should I take this chance to let her know my stance on the situation? I haven't replied to her or appeared online on Skype,Psn or FB. If anyone is interested in knowing what I want to say, if it Wil have any significance to the advice just let me know and il post it. Thanks in advance.
jbelle6 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Wait until she comes out and says "I want us to try again" or something specific like that. Funny, my breadcrumb came around 4am too. Drunk message I suspect. Don't respond. 2
Author JahnJahn Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 Wait until she comes out and says "I want us to try again" or something specific like that. Funny, my breadcrumb came around 4am too. Drunk message I suspect. Don't respond. I have decided not to wait. You and a few others have made me realize that NC is not for that, it's for healing. I know it's going to be hard and the one thing I don't want to do is forget her (she is the only ex I feel like this towards. Maybe that sentiment will change, maybe not. But I'm not going to rush into anything. I hope when I wake up I feel the same as what I've decided. I'm gonna write a journal
Always Pondering Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I hope when I wake up I feel the same as what I've decided. I'm gonna write a journal Nice idea, I bought a journal from my bookstore weeks after the break up and have been writing in it since. The amount I write in it has dramatically decreased though as time passes and things get better. It's funny to read back and see how ridiculous and silly I sounded. Just stick with NC, you won't regret it and you'll feel much better in the end anyways.
Author JahnJahn Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Nice idea, I bought a journal from my bookstore weeks after the break up and have been writing in it since. The amount I write in it has dramatically decreased though as time passes and things get better. It's funny to read back and see how ridiculous and silly I sounded. Just stick with NC, you won't regret it and you'll feel much better in the end anyways. I feel like such a child. My family tells me there is nothing wrong with being friends after I have healed and the idea of her being with someone else wont bother me, but will it ever stop bothering me? And honestly, the more Ive posted on LS, the more Ive felt Im making more logical decisions. You guys should have seen the train wreck I was when we broke up (I indirectly begged her and served my balls to her). I guess communicated or writing out your thoughts is indeed therapeutical in a way. Im going to keep NC. In the morning I will buy a journal and impose a 30 day NC for myself. After that, I will then decide what to do depending on how I feel. I joined Meetup and meeting some people soon, so excited
jbelle6 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Don't feel bad, if you read around a lot of people made mistakes in the beginning right after the breakup. Maybe this will help...I find it super easy to be no contact, and to have started it right away and it's because I remember the pain the day he ended it and I NEVER want to feel it again, and I NEEDED it to go away as quickly as possible. I am not tempted to look at his Facebook, or to text or email him because even if he simply didn't respond I would be right back to that crushing feeling in my stomach as bad as it was the very first day. The same will happen to you!!! I don't have the option of breaking no contact because I honestly could not bare it. My advice can be abrupt and harsh on here sometimes, but it's only because I don't want anyone to feel like that first day EVER. 1
Author JahnJahn Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Don't feel bad, if you read around a lot of people made mistakes in the beginning right after the breakup. Maybe this will help...I find it super easy to be no contact, and to have started it right away and it's because I remember the pain the day he ended it and I NEVER want to feel it again, and I NEEDED it to go away as quickly as possible. I am not tempted to look at his Facebook, or to text or email him because even if he simply didn't respond I would be right back to that crushing feeling in my stomach as bad as it was the very first day. The same will happen to you!!! I don't have the option of breaking no contact because I honestly could not bare it. My advice can be abrupt and harsh on here sometimes, but it's only because I don't want anyone to feel like that first day EVER. Some people, like myself, needed harsh words. I found that I deluded myself in believing its over. Even now, even after telling myself over and over and over that its over and accepting that I need to move on... I for some reason am thinking I need to show her that Im moving on I still haven't checked on her... I was on PSN and I changed my comment, ended up going on Netflix but in my mind im wondering if I really am over checking up on her or is this just another excuse. I need some more serious reflection Thanks again for both the harsh and comforting words
Always Pondering Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I feel like such a child. My family tells me there is nothing wrong with being friends after I have healed and the idea of her being with someone else wont bother me, but will it ever stop bothering me? And honestly, the more Ive posted on LS, the more Ive felt Im making more logical decisions. You guys should have seen the train wreck I was when we broke up (I indirectly begged her and served my balls to her). I guess communicated or writing out your thoughts is indeed therapeutical in a way. Im going to keep NC. In the morning I will buy a journal and impose a 30 day NC for myself. After that, I will then decide what to do depending on how I feel. I joined Meetup and meeting some people soon, so excited It's okay, I served my balls to the last woman I was involved with too, we all make mistakes. You're clouded with emotions and especially if it's a first, you're more than likely to make silly mistakes. It'll stop bothering you one day. I mean, I'm not bothered by any of my other exes so I'm sure it'll be the same for the last. You NC for as long as you need to, for you to heal and evolve. I'm about 5 months NC and plan on it for a looooong time.
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