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Posted

I've been separated (not legally) from my husband for several years now. He's involved with someone else. We never divorced. He has an IRA worth quite a bit of money. I am the beneficiary. He recently retired and wants to cash in the IRA to invest in other things. He called me today and was really nice to me. He asked me to sign a form and have it notarized and give it back to him to approve of him cashing it in. Apparently, he cannot cash in the IRA without my signature. He said he's going to invest the money and put me as the beneficiary on the new investments. I need your feedback please! :confused:

Posted

don't sign A THING and get some legal advice...

  • Like 7
Posted
don't sign A THING and get some legal advice...

 

 

 

DITTO. There is a reason both signatures are required. I wouldn't trust a man with another woman in his ear.

  • Like 4
Posted

Most likely - technically half of that account is yours when you divorce - and I'm sure he knows that.

 

Don't sign it.

 

You know there's no guarantee your name will go on anything with him in the future. I fact, my guess is he will take the money and spend most of it on her.

 

I'd say that he could cash it in as long as he gives you half. Demand to see the balance.

  • Like 3
Posted

Is he over 60? I forgot to ask that. Why would it financially benefit you to take the penalties so he can invest his half in some other crap?

 

If he isn't over 59 1/2 I'd say sorry unless I had somewhere more lucrative to invest my half myself.

Posted

I would divorce, and take the money to make my own investments.

Posted

Don't sign a damn thing. If he was going to ACTUALLY put you as beneficiary on anything new, he'd be able to sign all of these papers in person and all at once. What "new investments"? The short of it is, get a lawyer. Is it a roth IRA or an IRA? Because if it's an IRA, he's looking at a lot of taxes and a penalty for cashing out that money. Either way, it sounds like he needs to pay off some debt you don't know about or hide it in a mattress so that when he serves you the divorce papers you don't get any part of them.

  • Like 1
Posted
Don't sign a damn thing. If he was going to ACTUALLY put you as beneficiary on anything new, he'd be able to sign all of these papers in person and all at once. What "new investments"? The short of it is, get a lawyer. Is it a roth IRA or an IRA? Because if it's an IRA, he's looking at a lot of taxes and a penalty for cashing out that money. Either way, it sounds like he needs to pay off some debt you don't know about or hide it in a mattress so that when he serves you the divorce papers you don't get any part of them.

 

 

This. Exactly. He must need cash is my thought. But if he's not old enough to cash it, I'd say sorry no.

Posted

Him being all nice is his way of trying to manipulate you.

 

If it didn't benefit him a lot - he wouldn't be so motivated.

 

Don't trust his motives.

 

Get advice from your attorney and acocountant.

 

If he's not old enough to take it out - it's possible nearly half could go to the government by taking it out too soon.

 

Don't believe him that even if he moves it - he would put your name on it again. I don't believe he would.

 

Don't sign anything until you get professional guidance.

  • Like 4
  • Author
Posted

Thanks for the replies. Yes, he is 62 yrs old. I cannot believe what I'm faced with at this point in my life. When I tell him I'm not going to sign it, I have a feeling all hell is going to break loose, but I need to find the strength to put a stop to this depressing life I've been living since he walked out on me years ago. He posts pictures of himself and his bimbo on facebook smiling under the Eiffel Tower in France and pictures of the two of them smiling in a restaurant with a bottle of champagne on ice. He's retired and enjoying his life with this woman and I'm still working at a low paying job barely able to make ends meet. I have no money for vacations. I've been afraid to divorce him for fear I'd end up in the street. He kept paying the mortgage all these years and some of the bills so I thought I should be thankful that I still had a roof over my head. Meanwhile the IRA is worth 800,000.00 and I know there is other money because I saw an insurance policy once that was worth 500,000. Why did he never file for divorce? Please give me the strength to do the right thing. :confused:

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

My husband and I have been living apart for 15 yrs. We are both 62 and not divorced. I was always afraid to divorce him for fear I'd wind up in the street. He continued to pay the mortgage and most of the bills all this time because I have a low paying job and couldn't make the payments. My husband retired last month and I got a phone call from him yesterday. He told me he wants to roll over his IRA worth 800,000 to make other investments and he wants to put me down as the beneficiary. He was really nice to me and kept saying that when he dies all the money would be mine. The only thing is that I would have to sign the IRA in front of a notary republic. He wanted to do it right away yesterday and kept pressing that he'd take me a notary so I could sign it right away. I made an excuse and told him to leave the papers in my mailbox and told him I'd sign them today. When I saw what I would be signing, it was the IRA worth 800,00. Where I would have to sign, it says "I acknowledge that I may be giving up my right to receive assets from this transaction that would otherwise go to me upon the participant's death. I cannot take back my consent once this transaction has been processed. I acknowledge that the participant's (my husband) waiver of a qualified joint and survivor annuity, if applicable, is not valid without my consent." He never put it to me like that. He told me I'd be signing to be the beneficiary on the new investments. I cannot believe what I'm faced with at this point in my life. If I tell him I'm not going to sign it, I know that all hell is going to break loose, but I need to find the strength to put a stop to this depressing life I've been living since he walked out on me years ago. He posts pictures of himself and his bimbo on facebook smiling under the Eiffel Tower in France and pictures of the two of them smiling in a restaurant with a bottle of champagne on ice. He's retired and enjoying his life with this woman and I'm still working at a low paying job barely able to make ends meet. I have no money for vacations and I can't even retire. I've been afraid to divorce him for fear I'd end up in the street. He kept paying the mortgage all these years and some of the bills so I thought I should be thankful that I still had a roof over my head if nothing else. Meanwhile the IRA is worth 800,000.00, the house we own is worth 800,000 and I know there is other money because I saw an insurance policy once that was worth 500,000. Why did he never file for divorce? Please give me the strength to do the right thing. I'm scared. :confused:

Posted
Please give me the strength to do the right thing. I'm scared. :confused:

 

people are advised to never seek medical advice online because you can't verify the credentials of those dispensing it. the same thing applies to legal advice. you are in the wrong place, sorry. contact a lawyer.

  • Like 2
Posted

ask a lawyer of your own, cool calm and collected

 

stop emoting too, it saps logic, avoid dramas ;) xx

Posted
ask a lawyer of your own, cool calm and collected

 

I agree

 

Is he trying to do a rollover or cash the IRA out meaning an IRA withdrawal ?

 

Do you understand the difference ?

 

If he is rolling it over then there are no worries and by law unless you give up your right as a spouse being the beneficiary then he has to make you the beneficiary, only you can sign away that right.

 

If he is withdrawing it and going to invest it in something not in another form of IRA or just spend it then there is a tax burden as it becomes income and has to be taxed and you are also responsible for those taxes.

 

Please get some legal advice, it sounds like he has a mistress, why not divorce him and take your half of the IRA or whatever your marital assets are and set up your own retirement accounts just for you and leave him to his mistress.

 

Please seek legal advice and get a divorce attorney if only for advice.

Posted

He's paying for your mortgage? I dunno sounds like a pretty sweet deal for you tbh.

 

Don't sign it if you're uncomfortable. Get a lawyer.

  • Author
Posted
ask a lawyer of your own, cool calm and collected

 

stop emoting too, it saps logic, avoid dramas ;) xx

I am not seeking legal advice here or creating dramas. I am here in this forum for moral support and to work through this problem by getting feedback and hopefully support.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
people are advised to never seek medical advice online because you can't verify the credentials of those dispensing it. the same thing applies to legal advice. you are in the wrong place, sorry. contact a lawyer.

I am not seeking legal advice here or creating dramas. I am here in this forum for moral support and to work through this problem by getting feedback and hopefully support.

  • Author
Posted

Hi Art Critic,

It says on the first page of the documents he gave me to sign - FULL DISTRIBUTION - ROLLOVER. What does that mean? Is there a difference between rolling it over and cashing it in?

Posted

If it's a rollover then look and see what he is rolling it into ? the paperwork should tell you.

 

I think you need to seek some legal advice and don't sign anything that you don't know what you are signing.

  • Author
Posted

You see, you are already giving me food for thought, which I appreciate. I had no idea there is a difference between rolling something over and cashing it in. My husband did not give me any papers that indicates what he is rolling the money over to. (if that's what he is doing.) He told me on the phone that he already has a guy that he is working with to make safe investments such as Con Edison Electric Company. I am definitely going to speak to a lawyer before I sign anything, but in the meantime, I am just trying to sort this out and possibly learn something.

Posted
Why did he never file for divorce? Please give me the strength to do the right thing. :confused:

 

He is moving around his assets to ensure he keeps as much of them as possible. That can take time, so he's delaying the divorce filing. Know you don't have a lot of extra money, but talking to a lawyer and not signing anything sound like the right moves here.

  • Like 3
Posted
I am not seeking legal advice here or creating dramas. I am here in this forum for moral support and to work through this problem by getting feedback and hopefully support.

 

you are not creating dramas, i had the impression that he might, since you feared "all hell breaking loose" as you put it, best wishes

Posted
My husband and I have been living apart for 15 yrs. We are both 62 and not divorced. I was always afraid to divorce him for fear I'd wind up in the street. He continued to pay the mortgage and most of the bills all this time because I have a low paying job and couldn't make the payments. My husband retired last month and I got a phone call from him yesterday. He told me he wants to roll over his IRA worth 800,000 to make other investments and he wants to put me down as the beneficiary. He was really nice to me and kept saying that when he dies all the money would be mine. The only thing is that I would have to sign the IRA in front of a notary republic. He wanted to do it right away yesterday and kept pressing that he'd take me a notary so I could sign it right away. I made an excuse and told him to leave the papers in my mailbox and told him I'd sign them today. When I saw what I would be signing, it was the IRA worth 800,00. Where I would have to sign, it says "I acknowledge that I may be giving up my right to receive assets from this transaction that would otherwise go to me upon the participant's death. I cannot take back my consent once this transaction has been processed. I acknowledge that the participant's (my husband) waiver of a qualified joint and survivor annuity, if applicable, is not valid without my consent." He never put it to me like that. He told me I'd be signing to be the beneficiary on the new investments. I cannot believe what I'm faced with at this point in my life. If I tell him I'm not going to sign it, I know that all hell is going to break loose, but I need to find the strength to put a stop to this depressing life I've been living since he walked out on me years ago. He posts pictures of himself and his bimbo on facebook smiling under the Eiffel Tower in France and pictures of the two of them smiling in a restaurant with a bottle of champagne on ice. He's retired and enjoying his life with this woman and I'm still working at a low paying job barely able to make ends meet. I have no money for vacations and I can't even retire. I've been afraid to divorce him for fear I'd end up in the street. He kept paying the mortgage all these years and some of the bills so I thought I should be thankful that I still had a roof over my head if nothing else. Meanwhile the IRA is worth 800,000.00, the house we own is worth 800,000 and I know there is other money because I saw an insurance policy once that was worth 500,000. Why did he never file for divorce? Please give me the strength to do the right thing. I'm scared. :confused:

 

Take the paperwork to a lawyer.

Posted (edited)
I've been separated (not legally) from my husband for several years now. He's involved with someone else. We never divorced. He has an IRA worth quite a bit of money. I am the beneficiary. He recently retired and wants to cash in the IRA to invest in other things. He called me today and was really nice to me. He asked me to sign a form and have it notarized and give it back to him to approve of him cashing it in. Apparently, he cannot cash in the IRA without my signature. He said he's going to invest the money and put me as the beneficiary on the new investments. I need your feedback please! :confused:

 

Again, see a lawyer.

 

From the look of it, it means that he can spend every single penny without your approval. That's what he wants, probably why he was so nice. As of right now, you are entitled to half the money probably. If you sign, you'll be entitled to what's left, probably 2 dollars.

 

Consult a lawer Monday.

 

My dad did the same thing to my mom and us. He left when I was 13, met someone else, spent all the money they both had worked for, and now she's left with nothing but a small pension. They got divorced 2 years ago. She was 73.

Edited by Elle1975
  • Like 1
Posted
Please give me the strength to do the right thing. :confused:

 

Praying that you have strength, debbie (hug). Do you have any other supports around you right now? Family, church, etc? Hope you're not isolated in this situation.

 

You seem to be facing a major change, and I pray that you're able to envision the freedom you'll have if you're no longer depending on him for financial support. There is life after divorce!

 

And it must be awful to see him on FB (:sick:) -- I would unfriend him, or at least change his status so you don't see all his updates.

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