She says i'm being over the top by telling her we need to not talk for awhile

May 30, 2014

Girl i've been talking to for 4 months who i thought we were getting closer. I told her about some friends who i haven't spoke to in awhile I was kinda bummed i didn't get a wedding invite.

She encourages me to make plans with them and said she really wants to meet them so we can make a good impression and get an invite to their wedding.

After some hesitation i called. set it up.

next day her ex boyfriend made her feel upset about something.

Next day rolls by She's asking what she should wear and just some general information about his wife and my friend.

next day (the day of, which is TODAY). she sends me a video in the morning saying good morning and hopes i have a good day with her being all cute. I send her a message letting her know the plans have changed slightly for tonight and my friends want to go to this outdoor free concert thing.

literally 3 hours later she's flaking on me saying she's going to do her own thing. and that she feels bad because she never flakes on me. (and she hasn't until today) I tell her i'm extremely hurt and disappointed. and said whatever i think we shouldn't speak for awhile.

She's like you're being over the top its not that deep. And its not what you think. But whatever dude. I never responded to her final text.

TLDR: Talking to girl of 4 months, she encourages me to rekindle friendship with a buddy who didn't invite me to his wedding. She's excited. day of she sends me a cute video saying good morning. I tell her about a slight change in plans she flakes on me saying "she's going to do her own thing"

May 30, 2014

There was some reason she was looking forward to the original plan... maybe she got an outfit for it, or something. So when the plans changed, she was disappointed. (Or maybe she just didn't want to go to an outdoor concert for whatever reason.)

That's not flaking on you, and I agree with her that your reaction was over the top.

You should have just said "OK, I will talk to you in the morning then and let you know how the concert was. If you change your mind and want to go, text me."

And left it at that.

May 30, 2014

There was some reason she was looking forward to the original plan... maybe she got an outfit for it, or something. So when the plans changed, she was disappointed. (Or maybe she just didn't want to go to an outdoor concert for whatever reason.)

That's not flaking on you, and I agree with her that your reaction was over the top.

You should have just said "OK, I will talk to you in the morning then and let you know how the concert was. If you change your mind and want to go, text me."

And left it at that.

she's embarrassing me in front of people though by all the sudden saying she was going to do her own thing. how do i explain an event that she wanted to set up isn't going to be there for unknown reasons.

if she didn't want to do the concert thing then I totally get it. But she didn't say that she's like

"yeah i'm gonna do my own thing tonight why don't you invite Stephanie its still really early"

Stephanie is a girl this woman doesn't like at all simply because me and her are close PLATONIC friends.

i tell her i'm in total shock she's flaking on me last minute and she says i feel really bad because i don't normally do this. (still have no explained to me anything)

and then i say whatever obviously what i thought we had building was just in my head. and i'd rather us not talk for awhile. And she responds with a crass you're being over the top. "whatever dude".

i wanted to text her "F**K you and piss off" but saying **** out of anger is never the way. i dunno this girl has been on and off with me. mostly because i wasn't putting 100% into our relationship. then when i do and things are finally turning around she drops this crap on me.

May 30, 2014

she's embarrassing me in front of people though by all the sudden saying she was going to do her own thing. how do i explain an event that she wanted to set up isn't going to be there for unknown reasons.

"She can't make it, but let's go have a good time."

Her actions shouldn't embarass you at all. You don't control her actions, nor do you have to explain her to anyone else.

if she didn't want to do the concert thing then I totally get it. But she didn't say that she's like

"yeah i'm gonna do my own thing tonight why don't you invite Stephanie its still really early"

Sounds like she was upset and making a dig about Stephanie. Your best response to that is ignore it and don't play into the game.

i wanted to text her "F**K you and piss off"

That would have been VERY over the top.

i dunno this girl has been on and off with me. mostly because i wasn't putting 100% into our relationship. then when i do and things are finally turning around she drops this crap on me.

The more you can let petty stuff like this roll off your back, the happier life you will have. You can't control what other people do. But you can decide whether they add or subtract from your life, and act accordingly.

May 30, 2014

"She can't make it, but let's go have a good time."

Her actions shouldn't embarass you at all. You don't control her actions, nor do you have to explain her to anyone else.

Sounds like she was upset and making a dig about Stephanie. Your best response to that is ignore it and don't play into the game.

That would have been VERY over the top.

The more you can let petty stuff like this roll off your back, the happier life you will have. You can't control what other people do. But you can decide whether they add or subtract from your life, and act accordingly.

All your points are right.. SMH this dating game is tiresome. I do like this girl A LOT. and in all respects she likes me. Everything she does says so. christ she sends me movies of her just doing cute stuff like saying hi and hope my day goes well while she drives to work.

SMH. perhaps i did blow it over the roof. but she's not a blameless person in this mini spat. Also i said not talk for awhile. so awhile could be any amount of time. Instead of back-peddling and texting her tonight when i'm drunk or tomorrow i'll just text/call her after the weekend.

or if she opens up to me i'll respond. I don't want to seem like i can't follow through with things i say.

Or should i just drop that and hit her up whenever i feel like i'm not going to be a baby about this. Or should i make a mini apology about being over the top and let her know i was just embarrassed and a little shocked so i acted out.

Edited May 30, 2014 by chrisftw

May 30, 2014

UPDATE:

She just sent this and now i feel like an ass.

I've known that she's been wanting to move for quite awhile so she's putting stacking her savings account. she's always been really good with money.

anyway she just said

i've been feeling guilty about this all day and i was just really embarrassed to tell you that i couldn't afford to go out tonight, i can't even do much of anything until next thursday (pay day). I wanted to call and tell you this but I knew you probably wouldn't answer. but and i know you're pressed for cash to because you're trying to get your internship and not working a lot of hours and i don't want you to keep paying for me. cuz i know you like to go out with your other friends. (she's hinting Stephanie again although not saying it)

I still want to hang out though at your house and be together. especially sunday for game of thrones. I hope you have fun tonight and i'm really sorry for all this.

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She says i'm being over the top by telling her we need to not talk for awhile

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