Sophia1213 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Hi Everyone This is my 1st post. I'm still having such a hard time with this even after hours of consolation from caring friends and family. Any insights or similar stories you would like to share would help... We were never official but on and off for 10 months I've never encountered anyone like him, really intensely intimate cuddling, holding hands and dates but no contact from him for 5 days periodically especially after really good nights. he's shy, guarded, composed. It was difficult for him to expressed his emotions openly. felt like fear of commitment was definitely in the cards. The relationship dynamic didn't start off on the right foot, he "chased" me for few months asked me out on dates but as soon as I started to seriously like him I started treating him really well even thou he never gave me commitment but he did open up and was slowly letting down his walls. The last couple of months I got fed up and stopped being the driver of the relationship and basically said what is the point of us doing this...he insisted he knew he could fall in love with me but he wasn't there yet, he said we would meet each others friends, a month passed by and he never delivered that promised. So I broke off with him and told him I can't do this anymore, he said he planned which friend for me to meet but still did not have any concrete plans. He said he didn't want it to end but know he was being unfair to me. I practically had to kick him out of my house. we hugged and kissed. I cried and told him i loved him. I've been doing NC going strong for 2 and half weeks now... and today I was on POF and saw opened a new account again (he deleted his account while we were dating) It broke me...does it mean hes moved on already? I feel annoyed i give a crap to what hes thinking of me.
meeji Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I dated a guy for a brief time and something similar happened. I did the same thing you did and got back on OKCupid. I haven't spoken to the guy since and he hasn't contacted me since. I suggest that you move on and open yourself up to a guy that is ready for a commitment because this guy isn't ready and nothing you can do will make him be ready. Also, maybe it is a good idea to only put out what you're getting back.
Author Sophia1213 Posted June 2, 2014 Author Posted June 2, 2014 I dated a guy for a brief time and something similar happened. I did the same thing you did and got back on OKCupid. I haven't spoken to the guy since and he hasn't contacted me since. I suggest that you move on and open yourself up to a guy that is ready for a commitment because this guy isn't ready and nothing you can do will make him be ready. Also, maybe it is a good idea to only put out what you're getting back. Thanks for your post. I realize moving on is my only option here but every morning is the same i wake up incredibly sad. I keep looping back the thought if i made the right decision...Logically of course i know i did but my emotions keep bringing me back to the same place.
Author Sophia1213 Posted June 2, 2014 Author Posted June 2, 2014 I dated a guy for a brief time and something similar happened. I did the same thing you did and got back on OKCupid. I haven't spoken to the guy since and he hasn't contacted me since. I suggest that you move on and open yourself up to a guy that is ready for a commitment because this guy isn't ready and nothing you can do will make him be ready. Also, maybe it is a good idea to only put out what you're getting back. I gave more than I got back b/c I thought i could "warm" him out of his shell, hes told me that he didn't like the way all his past relationship ended, (his most recent one he felt he was neglected) and yes i was sucker for his sob story..I wanted to show him I could give him the relationship he never had He was always honest, sweet, respectable and caring towards me and didn't shy away from any talks about the future, He did everything a guy would do that was in dating scenario, he wanted to work but he just couldn't follow up his intention with actions in reality, and it was flaring up my fear of abandonment. I keep kicking my self and thinking if i was more patient what would of happend... But yes in the future going forward I wouldn't ever do this again with another.
Author Sophia1213 Posted June 2, 2014 Author Posted June 2, 2014 What is this about meeting each other's friends? He was going to ration out contact? This was never a giant red flag? What does this mean? "He was going to ration out contact?"
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