Para4dox Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Hi all, Girlfriend of 2 years and I just broke up, and after a lot of research and reflection I know I love her and want her back. So I've been trying the no contact rule, and in the mean time living a full life and bettering myself. She broke up with me and said she wanted space anyway. Problem is that now just in one day I've had 9 messages and several phone calls, and she indicated that she's worried about me. Ive gotten a lot of "hi's" "please answer" etc. I'm not sure if I should keep the no contact rule up, break it temporarily and explain how i feel (really hurt from all of this), or just break the rule entirely and stay in normal contact? First time posting, could really use the help. Advice?
iouaname Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Why should she be worried about you? Have you suggested that she should be worried about you? If not, then I'd stay no contact. I think it's actually crucial that you do. If you respond, you're just allowing her to feel comfortable with the breakup because she can still speak with you. Also, isn't she the one that asked for space? Give it to her. She would come right out and say it if she wanted you back.
PhillyConnection23 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Just respond with you are fine and think its best that the two of you don't communicate for a while.
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Since she's the one who broke up with you, there is very little chance she wants to hear from you or is interested in reconciliation. 9 messages is one date reeks of desperation & has pushed her farther away from you. You look unstable. The only times I leave multiple messages for somebody is in emergencies (hospitals, deaths etc.) The NC "rule" is designed to help you heal. It's a misuse of the technique to use it to win somebody back while ignoring them. In your case, employing NC is a way to preserve your dignity too; you can't leave 9 messages plus phone calls. One is sufficient. If the person ignores you, you have to assume it's over.
Always Pondering Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Since she's the one who broke up with you, there is very little chance she wants to hear from you or is interested in reconciliation. 9 messages is one date reeks of desperation & has pushed her farther away from you. You look unstable. The only times I leave multiple messages for somebody is in emergencies (hospitals, deaths etc.) The NC "rule" is designed to help you heal. It's a misuse of the technique to use it to win somebody back while ignoring them. In your case, employing NC is a way to preserve your dignity too; you can't leave 9 messages plus phone calls. One is sufficient. If the person ignores you, you have to assume it's over. Wait, isn't OP the one who received 9 messages and one phone call? Or maybe I'm just reading wrong... Anyways I wouldn't respond. Even if she for some reason was worried you were dead, she'd be able to find out on her own.
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Wait, isn't OP the one who received 9 messages and one phone call? Or maybe I'm just reading wrong... Anyways I wouldn't respond. Even if she for some reason was worried you were dead, she'd be able to find out on her own. I read it that the OP called her. If she called him 9 times & he wants to get back together then he needs to talk to her, not ignore her.
Zahara Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Respond to her and let her know you are fine. Explain that you need to go no contact to heal from this and that communication will only be reciprocated if she wants to reconcile. Tell her you cannot keep in communication with her because it is a break-up and you have to move on. Then go dark. 3
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