LoveFloats Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 So I'm not quite sure what to do about this situation. I take public transit to work every day, and for months, I have seen this guy on one transit stop..and sometimes we both go to Starbucks after the stop we get off. Every single time we see each other we glance at each other, but I'm SO shy, I try to smile but then quickly look away because i get so nervous! He seems pretty shy as well, but there is something about him that I'm so drawn to, and I would regret not trying to do anything about it. However, i have NO idea how to approach him without being weird/awkward. What do I say?? How do you casually spark a conversation with someone? Esp with someone like myself who is really shy? If you're wondering..I'm 31..thought I would mention that since this post seems a little silly ;P ANY suggestions would help!
PegNosePete Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 When you next go to Starbucks just say large cappuccino right (or whatever he normally drinks), I'm buying today. Then sit with him and ask his name, job, what pets he has, what he does on weekends and where he's next going on holiday.
Mrin Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 When you next go to Starbucks just say large cappuccino right (or whatever he normally drinks), I'm buying today. Then sit with him and ask his name, job, what pets he has, what he does on weekends and where he's next going on holiday. This. Or if don't feel that bold, walk up to him and say "we really have to stop meeting this way..." and give him a wink or a smile. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I like the "we really have to stop meeting this way" line. I also like buying him his coffee but that seems more forward then I think you may be comfortable with. Keep smiling. Manage to eek out a hi or good morning. The weather -- although it's a cliché -- is a great opener.
Author LoveFloats Posted May 30, 2014 Author Posted May 30, 2014 Saw him again this morning with no luck!! I worry that he may have a gf and I will just embarrass myself. 1
Kamila Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I think he has a gf too, cos if he was single and he saw you also taking public transport he would have done something about it. The traditional 'let guys chase' may be in order here. Or drop a hanky or something and see what he does. Smile a lot. But let him come to you. And if you really can't resist... then go to him... it's your call.
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Saw him again this morning with no luck!! I worry that he may have a gf and I will just embarrass myself. Even if he has a GF because you have no way of knowing that you, approaching him in a classy friendly manner won't embarrass you. He will be flattered. He will hopefully be polite & then life will go on. You will never know if you don't try. 4
TheBladeRunner Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Saw him again this morning with no luck!! I worry that he may have a gf and I will just embarrass myself. Go embarrass yourself! Be awkward, and most important, be you. You'll never know until you ask 1
truth_seeker Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I think he has a gf too, cos if he was single and he saw you also taking public transport he would have done something about it. The traditional 'let guys chase' may be in order here. Or drop a hanky or something and see what he does. Smile a lot. But let him come to you. And if you really can't resist... then go to him... it's your call. Not true. He might be clueless, shy or think she has a boyfriend! I think a woman can get away with more indirect approaches, so I suggest she gets a third party involved (Example: barista at Starbucks to hand him a note) or she could approach him and ask: "Hey, we matched on Tinder, right?" 1
MrMeh Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 It's this simple. If he's attracted to you, it doesn't matter what you say. Tell him you noticed him a while ago and slip him a paper with your name and number. That easy.
ChooseTruth Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Go embarrass yourself! Be awkward, and most important, be you. You'll never know until you ask Haha, I love this way of thinking. Embrace the awkward. Maybe even acknowledge it to him, "This is awkward, but..." I bet he is nice and says something like, "it's okay!" Make a comment about something he's wearing or doing? Make a comment about something that happens on the transit a lot or just that day that is unusual. I think the trick is being observant and NOT THINKING TOO MUCH. That's usually the problem with shy people (believe me I know, I was one) we think so much we never speak. Before the fear and crazy thoughts take over, just say whatever it is that comes to mind. It'll be ok
gaius Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Do you know what he gets at starbucks? If the next time your eyes catch you say something like "getting a whateverhegets today?" that should be all he needs if he's interested. He'll take it from there. It shows you notice him without being emasculating and taking charge yourself.
D.Mc. Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Hi LoveFloats, Even if you can just manage a simple smile & head nod the next time he "glances" at you, it will accomplish three important things: 1- you'll realize the earth didn't stop turning b/c you had the briefest of contact w/someone you're attracted to. 2- if he never responds at all, you'll be instantly rid of the attraction due to his rejection so you can free the brain space this has been using up. 3 -most importantly, you won't feel so shy the next time you see someone cute you want to say hi to. One step builds upon another. Do it! Good luck.
Phoe Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 cos if he was single and he saw you also taking public transport he would have done something about it. so all single men are obligated to "do something about it" when they ride public transport regularly with a woman?
Imported Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 OP, do you think he knows you might be interested in him? Do you think he may suspect your interest? Or have you been doing a really good job of hiding everything? Is it he gets on a train and see this girl all the time that either looks at him blankly or looks through him? Imagine the guy not being the sauve, sophisticated guy that movies like to show and that what is going through his mind is he's seen this same girl over and over and she shows him nothing so of course she is not interested and he'd be a fool to approach her. Don't buy him a coffee and grill him with 100 questions about his personal life on your first talking. Next time you see him, look straight at him, smile and look away. See what happens.
Mrin Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 So this has a bit to do with this thread and a lot that doesn't. I'm going to suggest that women give us men far too much credit for being aware of our surroundings and analysis of women. Granted, we are able to do that as evidence here at LS. But that's the exception. For most of our lives the day kinda goes like: I want to have sex I want to have sex I want to have sex I want to eat a cheeseburger I want to have sex I want to have sex With onions On the cheeseburger Not have sex with onions. Unless I was really drunk. Just sayin' I want to have sex and eat a cheeseburger I want to have sex I want to have sex Ooh she smells pretty I want to have sex I want to have sex Football So ya quit reading all sorts of stuff into this guy. Just go say hi and see.
Shaun-Dro Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 So I'm not quite sure what to do about this situation. I take public transit to work every day, and for months, I have seen this guy on one transit stop..and sometimes we both go to Starbucks after the stop we get off. Every single time we see each other we glance at each other, but I'm SO shy, I try to smile but then quickly look away because i get so nervous! He seems pretty shy as well, but there is something about him that I'm so drawn to, and I would regret not trying to do anything about it. However, i have NO idea how to approach him without being weird/awkward. What do I say?? How do you casually spark a conversation with someone? Esp with someone like myself who is really shy? If you're wondering..I'm 31..thought I would mention that since this post seems a little silly ;P ANY suggestions would help! This is a silly thread. 31 years old is too old for a woman to have no clue in approaching a man. I'm just shaking my head at this right now.
Xenon2 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 (edited) so all single men are obligated to "do something about it" when they ride public transport regularly with a woman? they're not obligated...but if her depiction of their interaction's accurate, I'd have asked her out twice already. men aren't supposed to be shy with women...pretty much every second of my existence on this earth since puberty seems to confirm it. i don't know what people are afraid of....like what could possibly go wrong. obviously dude is shy. just go talk to him. don't be falling all over him. just be like, hey dude, quit smiling at me and ask me for my number or something. although i will say there was this one time some girl @ the gym claimed I was looking at her. maybe i was, i dunno. she left a note on my car with her phone number. it was pretty adorable. i would have called her for sure had I not have had a girlfriend at the time. she was really hot... should have saved that number lmao... Edited May 31, 2014 by Xenon2
Phoe Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 they're not obligated...but if her depiction of their interaction's accurate, I'd have asked her out twice already. It sounds like you're more the exception than the rule. Their "interaction"? The only thing I read was that they sometimes glance at each other. I hardly call that an interaction. When I'm out and about I glance at everyone. Because it's normal human behavior to acknowledge the existence of those around you. And I NEVER get asked out, so I can guarantee that glancing at a man, almost 100% of the time, will not lead to him asking a girl out. It would be a very rare instance that a simple glance would prompt a man to ask a girl out. It takes more than that. 2
littleplanet Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 So I'm not quite sure what to do about this situation. I take public transit to work every day, and for months, I have seen this guy on one transit stop..and sometimes we both go to Starbucks after the stop we get off. Every single time we see each other we glance at each other, but I'm SO shy, I try to smile but then quickly look away because i get so nervous! He seems pretty shy as well, but there is something about him that I'm so drawn to, and I would regret not trying to do anything about it. However, i have NO idea how to approach him without being weird/awkward. What do I say?? How do you casually spark a conversation with someone? Esp with someone like myself who is really shy? If you're wondering..I'm 31..thought I would mention that since this post seems a little silly ;P ANY suggestions would help! This is classic. Two shy people who have been noticing each other for months and can't say a simple hello. Gives me this sudden urge to play Cupid. The messages are being sent both sides. No doubt they're subtle. No doubt he's terrified that your smile will instantly turn into a frown if he is so forward as to approach you, address you.... Let me just imagine for a minute. That final shy questioning look, just before it hits him that you WANT him to say hello, to come up with some kind of excuse for conversation. It makes me chuckle. I talk to attractive women all the time. Meet them everywhere. It doesn't matter a lick, because I'm taken. The reason for my friendly overtures has nothing to do with any agenda - and they know it. Instantly. If I could bottle it and sell it to shy people, I'd make a fortune. There are some great suggestions here. Creative. Cute. Any one of them could do the trick. The only thing I'd add to the pile is this: Allow yourself to be just a wee bit braver. Nothing wrong with that, if it matters that much. (And maybe it does, maybe it will - who knows?) His shyness.....is what it is. And what it is could be coming from a whole lot of respect. Not a bad thing. Go for it. You really have nothing to lose.
Recommended Posts