MoooOinkBaaa Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 This girl on my facebook apparently is in love with a guy she's broken up with four times now in the last three months. They've been seeing each other six months. I asked her why she loves him and she said: i love him because when i feel like crap he knows how to cheer me up, he knows how to make me smile. despite everything we have been through he treats me right and when me and him are together it feels like nothing else matters. i love him because no matter what i have done or what i have put him through, hes stuck by me i love him because he saved me from a relationship i was too fricking scared to get out of and he gave me the strength to change and be who i want to be ok... also he encourages me to do better for myself Is this a joke? haha it's ALL about her. She doesn't mention any of his qualities like being passionate, great sense of humour etc. I feel sorry for the guy. I'm sure people just like to be loved.
Gaeta Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Actually it's not a bad answer. Love is about how someone makes us feel. I am sure he has several qualities and she loves him for them but the most important is how he makes her feel when she's with him. If he makes her feel loved, beautiful, desirable and safe then she's one lucky girl. He could be a man of many qualities but makes her feel like crap. 4
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 But love IS about how someone makes us feel, about them. You love them, you should already feel that way about yourself. Her description could of been about anyone, a friend, a family member. If someone asked me why I loved my GF I'd list everything I love about her as a person. Even if he does make her feel like crap, if she still loved him at least she would love him for him and not herself.
soccerrprp Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 This girl on my facebook apparently is in love with a guy she's broken up with four times now in the last three months. They've been seeing each other six months. Well, love IS about how someone make YOU feel. But, as important as it is to acknowledge how GOOD one makes you feel, to ignore when and how one makes you feel BAD is dangerous. She's broken up with this guy 4x in 6-months. Either he doesn't feel the same or her love is not love, rather co-dependence and at her expense. Not healthy.
Gaeta Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I wonder why you are so critical of her definition of love. Couples love each other in different ways. Would that be the girl that lost interest in you?
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 No this is a different girl I went on a few dates with, I don't really care for her because she needs a lot of attention. I'm critical because I can be. The thing is it sounds like she's describing gratitude not love, she might aswell buy him a thank you card hahaha. She said he fullfills all her needs, I said yeah going to the fruit shop fullfills mine. I could go see my grandma and get the same. When I'm in love with someone I would describe the attraction, what makes me love THEM. Anyone can make her feel good by saying the things she wants to hear. You love them for WHO they are not what they DO for you. 3
dichotomy Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 from what she says - I see more of his love for her ......then the other way around....and she feels wonderful about that love of him "saving" and lifting her up. FYI a further discussion on love The Road Less Traveled: LOVE, it?s not a ?feeling? | Radical Reading's 1
Cakess Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Her reasons sound a bit similar to mine if I had to answer why I loved my boyfriend. There is no real definition of what love is, or what it should sound like since everyone experiences it differently. It's really hard to pinpoint the correct reasons why anyone loves another person. That's one of the great things about love. If I may ask, why are you so interested in the reasons why she loves her ex? 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 It's all in her head naturally, he likely doesn't feel the same way about her which is why they're constantly breaking up, but that doesn't really matter for her. As long as she keeps herself in that delusional state she'll stay there, regardless of what he does, she's telling herself he is doing this and that for her...things she cannot do for herself, she's becoming dependent and attached it, she's going to continually manipulate herself into thinking this is the real thing until he decides to go away. So it's how she thinks he makes her feel and how she thinks or feels that she loves him...it's not about the guy necessary or logical characteristics or traits, she's in need of something and he's filling the need. That guy could you be you down the road, you'll think a woman loves you for this and that but in reality she loves you for loving her and how she perceives herself to be treated and "loved". She'll think she's a better person for it and can't be without him, that'll be her thoughts on it...and no, it's not about you as much as it'll be for herself, although based on your own perceptions and ego you'll think it's all because of you.
todreaminblue Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 if a guy can make you feel like crap and good in the one parcel.....feeling like crap can often be cause and effect, motivation for growth......or to make changes to oneself or life............i think her answer was sound.....deb
Scarlet2 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Curious to know why she broke up with him four times if she's so in love with him... The last thing I'd want to do is break up with someone if I loved them so much... Also, he keeps taking her back, eventually he's going to say that he's not going to stick by her anymore... It gets old not knowing if they are coming or going.
Woggle Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 This guy is going to get his heart broken. I don't see a hint of any passionate feelings or raw attraction. 1
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