Unsure of

[alleeyoop]

I'm going to apologize in advance for being wordy here, I feel like a bit of back story is always needed and I am a (too) deep thinker in general so I tend to talk too much! I'm sorry about that but truly appreciate anyone who bothers to read and respond as I ramble.

 

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two and a half years. He is two years older than I am. I've just turned 22 and have just graduated college. I got a job and live in the same city as him now, which he wanted, but I also did because it is the biggest city in my state = good job opportunities, things to do, etc. Our relationship was hard because it was intertwined randomly with being long distance then not then long distance again the not...haha. And we survived through ~two years of that relationship being in college, part of my sophomore year, my junior and senior year.

 

He works A LOT. His father owns his own company and my boyfriend works insane hours, 5 a.m. to 11 p.m. sometimes or driving to multiple different states in a matter of two days for work. He is the marketing director for the company so also deals with the promo girls. I thought when I moved here I would be seeing him more, but that hasn't really been the case. Tonight, he had a dinner with the promotional girls (saying it was for work) and was supposed to come see me afterwards, but we got in a fight and he told me he didn't want to see me and that I am "knocking on the door of a break up". I am truly in a unique situation because not many (any?) can relate to what I have to deal with as a girlfriend. It's hard barely seeing someone and having them go to dinners and socialize with a lot of women (aka promo girls) and then telling you that they don't want to see you, the day before I have a big interview with another job offer.

 

I try to talk to him about these things and the way that I am feeling, but he doesn't ever want to talk or communicate well. He either: gets defensive, rude, or tries to act like I am unintelligent and overly emotional for trying to have "talks". When we first started dating and for the first 1.5 years we were together all the time and I loved it, he treated me amazingly and would talk things out with me and hated it when I was upset. Honestly, it was the best anyone has ever treated me, and I loved the person he was then...very compassionate and understanding. That's not the case anymore, as I explained before. Before, he always wanted to be with me and we were always together. Now I live 20 min away in the same city and barely see him, and he tried to break up with me tonight because I got angry with them the last couple days for not seeing me.

 

I am having a difficult time with the normal questions/problems people my age have. Student loans, apartment living, on my own now, new job(s), etc. I am from a really small town and now live in one of the bigger cities in the U.S. I love my boyfriend and the thought of breaking up sounds awful. I think I have a future with him, although it is later for the "serious" stuff than I would like. He has changed in how he treats me though, something I have tried and tried to no avail to talk to him about. And some may find it insecure, but the promo girls really bother me.

 

I don't really know what I am looking for here. I would appreciate anything though. Is it time to move on? Does anyone think he actually doesn't want to be with me anymore? Should I even care about any of this? He says he loves me but things that he said tonight (and lately) don't really show that, and actions speak louder than words. I don't know, this is a really open ended conversation and I apologize for that! I try to account for the difficult job that he has, but I'm not sure when is okay and at what point to give up on that part and focus on only me, aka, break up. Is it better to break up now and end it altogether? Or do I wait to see how he is treating me? I understand that I am young and relationship dumb, if anyone wants to hit me on the head with how immature I am being, please don't be afraid to do so. (That was a joke....sort of..)

 

He tells me that he doesn't have a normal job or life, and that I just have to get used to it because it's never going to be normal. I'm feeling over it though, but I am scared to break up because I don't actually want that, but I want him to start treating me better and communicating with me, and making attempts to see me. I really want some guidance or advice.

Edited May 29, 2014 by alleeyoop

[Marco Valerio]

My personal advice for you is that you shouldn't settle in love for less than what you give. If you are a loving person, you need someone like you, that treats you well and more important, respects you. I think you should continue looking for the right person.

 

Regards.