Eternalsadness Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 It has been exactly 3 months since my ex of 8 months broke up with me and shattered my heart into a million pieces. Before we got together we were friends for about 9 years. He talked me into giving it a try..i fell in love and he didn't. When he broke up with me he said he didn't see a future and could never love me..so i know there is no chance of us ever getting back together. So without the hope i'm not sure why i'm still holding on. Some days i feel fine and other days it is like the break up all over again. My life since the break up has gotten better in that I've dealt with some of the depression issues i had with family reasons, ive been working out and overall happier. I also have an interview in a few days for a new job, which is exciting. But yet i have this empty feeling that won't go away and i still think about him. I have been fine for awhile and then the other day i ran into his parents at work and after we talked for a min and they left i broke down crying and couldn't stop. (embarrassing thing at work. lol) He has also become a cold mean person from the guy i was friends with and then dated to the point that i don't even want anything to do with him. So after all this i can't understand why i'm still so affected by him and wish i could just get him out of my head. Will the heartache ever go away? Also yes ive been NC for most of the 3 months...il be honest i txted him a few times the first few weeks (was emotional and went a little crazy..)and then we talked once a few weeks ago when he had to tell me that i blew up his phone with 15 messages in the last 70 days or so. (he apparently counted and kept track of them.)
Xiphias92 Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Welcome EternalSadness, I've been in your shoes! Although not exactly down to the jot, but yes it does get easier! Sure it's gonna be a drag for now, but time heals all wounds. You have been pretty much taken care of yourself - mainly focusing on you and with what life has brought to your doorstep. Keep at it and never look back! From one point, you're having difficulty of why it still affects you mainly could be that you never dealt with this before and plus he was your friend for 9 years and then he becomes this "thing" that was never like him at all after dating you. Maybe those were his true colours? Now the funny part is, why would he keep track of how many messages you have sent within 70 days? I mean, if a person really wants nothing to do with you - they wouldn't have a single concern over something like that or even if you were to say hello to them. Even though he claims that he doesn't see a future with you - and if you still have feelings for him later on - it is possible that he could take a look back on how he handled you and perhaps reconcile things with you. Thing is though, after what he did - how would you want him back?
Itspointless Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 )and then we talked once a few weeks ago when he had to tell me that i blew up his phone with 15 messages in the last 70 days or so. (he apparently counted and kept track of them.) Seems like something that inflated his ego, wow look at this, I must be special. Good luck with your healing, it sucks being dumped.
learning_slowly Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I agree with all the above. It's probably hard as youre looking for work so ŷou have a lot of time to ponder. Use that time to gain extra skills/courses in the area you want your job. Then go out there and enjoy your life and leave him to send the messages when he sees how successful you've become. 1
martaldn Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 it will get better.. and then worse ..and then better again... you will be on this roller coaster for a while until one day you realize you are healed. everyone has different timing to heal..and I can understand you so well cause I am there myself. mine sucks at moment one day I am the happiest person in this world the day after the most miserable one hold on there be strong and keep NC
d0nnivain Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 You lost a friend too & sometimes that can hurt more than the loss of a BF. It will get better. Concentrate on your new job. Remind yourself that with that new opportunity comes a new routine & the chance to open up your life. You will meet new people & there will be whole aspects to your life that have nothing to do with him. It's a freh start.
Author Eternalsadness Posted May 30, 2014 Author Posted May 30, 2014 I have been reading posts on here for a few months and some of them have helped me get through the break up better than i would have on my own. It's nice to have forums like these where people know what you are going through and help each other out. So thank you everyone for replying. I do agree that i think a lot of it is that he has been in my life as a friend for a long time and i always had him to talk to and now there is never going to be that as a friend or a boyfriend. Maybe someday we will talk again, but not while i still care about him. I just don't get how people change so much so fast. Also since it was mentioned as a possible ego stroke, how is 15 messages in 70 something days considered blowing up a phone? 15 seems so little, but i guess maybe things change and become more sensitive after a break up?
iouaname Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I think that you get stronger as time goes on. You learn new ways to cope with things, and the experience becomes more and more distant as time goes on. So in that sense, yes, it definitely gets easier. It's been about a year and a half since the most difficult breakup of my life and I'm in a much better place and much happier place. It has gotten so much better for me, and I am positive it will for you too. Just keep on trucking through the bad stuff!
Reels Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 It gets easier, once you have some productive work to do, or even hobby. But yes, the pain remains.
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