Leeway Harris Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 This is a rant, might not be completely logical... If I like a woman, am attracted to her, want to date her, and she doesn't feel the same way, I have to get over it, right? I have to say "oh well, nobody's fault, whaddya gonna do?" and move on like a man. If a woman likes me, wants to pursue something, and I don't feel the same way, I'm too picky, immature, need to grow the hell up, what's my freaking problem anyway? If I'm seeing a woman, and I want to get more serious, and she doesn't feel the same way, I have to respect her wishes like an adult, and either accept the way things are or get out of the relationship. If I'm seeing a woman, and she wants to get more serious, and I don't, then I'm the worst piece of crap ever to walk the face of the earth and who the hell do I think I am anyway and deserve to die alone and miserable and HOW DARE I JUDGE?!? If I want sex, and she's not in the mood, I have to say "okay, goodnight sweetie," roll over and go to sleep. If she wants sex, and I'm not in the mood... oh my God. "YOU THINK I'M DISGUSTING! YOU HATE ME! WHY DONT YOU JUST STICK AN APPLE IN MY MOUTH LIKE THE PIG YOU OBVIOUSLY THINK I AM?" Okay, I know it's not really like that, only SOME of the women I've dated have been out to punish me and make me miserable. Some were easy going, considerate and empathetic. So, I guess that means the real source of the blame is... me. I'm seeking out women who hate me because a part of me hates myself and is actively trying to punish me for existing. Not only do I have to start actively choosing women who are better for me, I have to let go of all the self-blame I carry around with me. I have a lot of work to do. 2
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