bro Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) m-25 f-25 I met this girl 1.5 years ago at a friends party. Took her out for one date before I had to leave the country (job relocation). Nothing happened and we kept in touch. About 9 months ago she came to the States for grad school in boston (I'm in NYC). We texted a bit but nothing ever came out of it. I'm sure she knew I was interested but from what I knew, she and her ex were still trying to get back together. She'd ask me if I were in NYC at times (because she wanted to visit) but never followed through when I told her I was. I put her on the afterburner and we didn't text for a few months. So about 2 months ago she texted me and told me she was visiting NYC with a friend and asked if I wanted to get brunch. I agree and we met up with her + her friend. I didn't expect much, so I my mood and attitude was pretty much "whatever" throughout the lunch, looking generally disinterested. We make small talk and go out separate ways afterwards. We exchange texts saying "good to see you again" yadda yadda and left it at that. Last week she told me she will be in NYC again with her mom for a few days as she finished school and will be going back to her (our) home country for good. She asked if I was free to meet up, and I said yeah. So the day comes and she asks what I was up to. I asked if she wanted to get dinner + drinks and she agreed. I get dressed to impress (suit tie) and we met up. Dinner consisted of us making small talk and cracking jokes as she fiddled with her jewelry non-stop. Dinner ends and I ask if she was free to go for drinks (which she was). We go to this lounge that had a great view of the city and started to get our drank on. I didn't expect her to stay for this long (almost 2 hrs) and she insisted on getting one last drink even though it was apparent she was at least tipsy/drunk. She was telling me to visit her and how she'd cook for me and stuff. We sat down - we're both in good moods so I put my arm around her. She didn't fight so I tried escalating by rubbing her shoulder and hair. She didn't shy away so I knew it was on. Anyways she started going on and on and wouldn't stop talking so at one point I just wrapped my arm around her and pulled her to me for a kiss. It was pretty good - lots of tongue action. Afterwards she was pretty surprised and asked if that really happened, which I responded yes. She looks semi shocked and stands up and walks a few feet away to look into the view. So I'm like "did I miss something?". Played it cool and acted like nothing happened. Told her I was taking her back to her hotel. In the cab we didn't talk but when she got out she smiled and waved goodbye. Next day I got her a farewell gift (macarons) and dropped them off at her hotel. Didn't bother trying to see her again and left it at that. She texts me saying thank you with a . I tell her to have a safe flight back and she responds with a "see you back in (our home city) ;)". So is this girl worthwhile to keep in contact with or was she simply looking to have some fun before she left? Edited May 27, 2014 by bro
todreaminblue Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 If she was looking to have fun before she left and nothing more she wouldnt have offered to cook for you....she wouldn't have said did that just happen and be surprised that it did.............if you want to continue seeing her i think that is open for you to do so.....good luck ...deb
Author bro Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 I figured she was just being nice and didn't think much of it... plus there was alcohol involved The mood throughout the night was great - guess she didn't expect me to actually make a move, lol
DArtagnan2 Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 why not keep in touch? Did I miss something where there was an indication she didn't want to keep in touch? Don't change a thing. Continue to communicate, visit if you can, etc. Good Luck.
Author bro Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) Okay. Any idea what went through her mind after all this? and why she suddenly decides to let me take her out Edited May 27, 2014 by bro
DArtagnan2 Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 because she never made it to NY the other times she mentioned she may. This time, she was able to make it and wanted to see you. just a guess
Author bro Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 Last time I left for good after a date.. now she decides to do the same -_-. How cruel
Assasda Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 She decided to take you out because you were "pretty much "whatever" throughout the lunch, looking generally disinterested" and you werent forcing the issue. The biggest mistake you could make now is do something like put pressure on her and ask her "where is this going?" or "what are we?". Then you would be stuck. Thats the biggest mistake you could make. Just play it cool. You'll be fine 1
Author bro Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 ^ Noted. I don't plan on texting or contacting her until I fly back to visit, unless she initiates the convo.
DArtagnan2 Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Last time I left for good after a date.. now she decides to do the same -_-. How cruel how is that cruel? It isn't like she is leaving because of you. Her plans all along were to go back. Just like your plans to leave were something you planned to do. You weren't being cruel. Neither is she. Not to mention, its another Country she is going to. This isn't something that is like living in another state and there is an easy way to get to each other. Its another country. ^ Noted. I don't plan on texting or contacting her until I fly back to visit, unless she initiates the convo. Thats playing it cool? To me, playing it cool would be your normal self. All the other poster said was to not push those questions looking for answers. I say the same. Keep it light, stay in touch show some interest unless you are ready to dismiss it altogether. Be YOU, always. Your words and actions should match. If they don't, she won't have anything to go on either. I would text when she gets back to make sure she made it ok. Tell her it was good to see her when she was here and that you look forward to seeing her when you visit back home. Why change what you would normally do.
Author bro Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 (edited) I'm not sure what normal is, lol. When she first arrived we'd text but nothing came out of it so I just stopped. I figured pursing her wasn't working so I gave up. Then again this was the time her and her ex just broke up. Only when I distanced myself did she try to find me. Maybe just send a few texts here and now to keep in touch? Edited May 28, 2014 by bro 1
Author bro Posted June 13, 2014 Author Posted June 13, 2014 (edited) So here's an update: When she landed back in her (our) home city we pretty much texted everyday, with her initiating every day for a good whole week. It usually consisted of her talking about her new job (which she just started). Saying things like oh I just woke up, heading to work now, job is really hard, etc etc. I played it cool and didn't respond instantly (varied between 10m-1 hr timeframe). She seemed genuinely interested at this point. However last weekend she got word that she'll be traveling with her team to another city to do client work. This is when she began to fall "off" a bit - in that she pretty much just completely stopped texting me. It was sudden and I was a bit thrown off. After 2 days of no response when I sent her 3 texts, I asked if shes alright and she responded that work has been extremely busy (14 hrs day ish) and she's usually really exhausted. She started doubting herself, though I responded by being very supportive. But I figure that if the interest is strong enough, even a short response will suffice no matter how busy the day is. So it's been a few days since we've texted - I told her to work hard at her job, since it's her dream job. It doesn't seem like we'll be texting every day from now on... but why did she suddenly go cold turkey on me? The business travel is a major factor but I feel like there's something else at play here. Edited June 13, 2014 by bro
Author bro Posted July 23, 2014 Author Posted July 23, 2014 So we've kept in touch. Last week I told her I'd be back in her (our) home city in 2 months time and she told me that she'd been thinking about me these days. I take it as a positive sign? I've never had a girl admit this too me... but is she just being polite or is there a genuine interest from her part?
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