Used mistress Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 I am feeling out of sorts right now. I lived with the man four months and now I'm back in my house which is for sale. Here's my story. I met a very nice man 45 yrs old and who lives on a small farm just outside a town. We met at work. He's divorced for 7 yrs now. He filed for divorce because his wife cheated on him. I'm in the end stage of getting a divorce and the house is on the market for sale. We hung out a few times during the winter and said I could live at his house while my house on market. We got along great. We were pretty close. I started falling for him. I had my things in his bedroom. I noticed he had some women's things in his bathroom and when I asked about it he said it was his ex wife's things. Wow. You kept stuff from 7yrs ago?? He said he never used the drawer so he didn't notice. Anyways when we were coming home from work one day his wife was at the gas bar with her friend and when they saw me drove up to the car and gave me a look of disgust. He would get some texts from his ex saying its urgent regarding their 18 yr old son. He was always reluctant to call. When he did talk to her she was very controlling. I couldn't believe it. When she snapped her fingers he went running. She would always be wanting to meet him for dinners at the local restaurant. People in town still think they are together and they have been divorced 7 yrs. one time he let me answer the phone and when she said she needs to talk to him it's urgent I asked if their son was sick or hurt. She lost it She swore up a storm at me cussing and threatening me. I kept calm and said this conversation is over goodbye and before I could hang up she said I will kill you. I hung up the phone and said that isn't a normal reaction. Why would she get so angry. He said she has anger problems and she did that to his other girlfriend he had 3 yrs ago. I said that's not normal. She hasn't let you go. She tells him he has to sacrifice for their son. He downplayed it saying deep down she is a good person and he doesn't want to anger her. After that incident I started thinking and watching him closely. It's like he's afraid of her. She won't let him move on. This past 2 weeks his son stayed over for the 2 weeks. It's as if mom sent him there to see if I'm living there. Sid had kept our relationship hidden that's how I felt. I sort of moved in there yet I had to keep my things in boxes and just unpack what I needed. His place seems so empty. He didn't have much stuff anywheres. The stuff he did have was from his ex wife. I said why don't you throw it out and he said she would get very upset if he did. Anyways this past week was when she wanted to meet with him once again. He told me he asked if it was for grad. Her reply was no. He said then let's just talk over the phone. She never texted back and he said she was probably angry again. He was going to meet with her to calm her down. He is always saying he has to meet and call and text because they are co-parenting. It's more like she snaps her fingers and he goes running. These past couple weeks since his son was there I noticed a change in Sid. He became more withdrawn and distracted. He said he never thought this would happen between us - getting so close. I sense he panicked and perhaps his ex is trying to control him and break us up. Well she succeeded. I left today and came back to my somewhat empty house. I was surprised that he was crying . He said he doesn't want to lose our friendship. I said I want more than a friendship. We had more than a friendship I thought. I am at an age in life where I'm not getting any younger. He doesn't want me to see any other people yet he wants our friendship to remain a secret. I can't live like that. He buys a new piece of farm equipment he has to keep that hidden also saying his ex would want more money. I don't get it. His son will be going to university this fall. He wants to live on residence so with that and tuition will be $15g and that's for one year. He will be going for 4 yrs for what he wants to take. She is on him for that money now also. Their son said he only needs to work earning $175 every 2 weeks. That doesn't make sense to me at all. Here I am alone once again. I am heartbroken and wonder what the heck happened. I really liked him. He was kind gentle smart handy. A great all round guy and now were apart just as fast as it happened. Any words of wisdom Thanks for listening
Elle1975 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 So.. you guys are friends, you move in to sell the house, you guys have sex, you fall for him, he only offers friendship still. Did I get it right? So you actually never were an official couple?
Author Used mistress Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 Well I guess I blew that one. Guess I wasn't thinking once again. I give up with men for now and will just focus on finding a place to live once house sells.
Author Used mistress Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Well since I am back home I have taken a bit of a hiatus and now he is texting me once again. We have seen each other a few times. He said he wants to take me out for dinner this week but nothing set yet. I am not sure what he wants. He keeps telling me he wasn't expecting this. He doesn't want to let me go. Yet we seem so far apart. He came over yesterday for a couple hours and we ended up in bed. My mistake. He said he wanted to sleep over tonight. After work I had a gut feeling he would be cancelling and sure enough he did. He keeps texting me. When we are in bed doing it he says he loves me. I think he is just saying this. He asks how I feel about him. He said he is listening. He wants to hear what I have to say. I felt puzzled and not sure what I was supposed to say. I told him I like him a lot and I don't want to be without him. I felt very unsure of what to tell him. I didn't want to blurt out I love him. I was afraid. I'm afraid to say the wrong thing incase it scares him off. I AM AFRAID OF REJECTION. I feel like just being alone for awhile. The other relationship I was in really made me think and realize a few things about myself and about relationships. Yes I admit I do race into them. Least now I can see and perhaps it's best to just think of me and make myself happy. Perhaps let what will be be. I also think that he still has baggage from his marriage 7yrs ago. Their son will be graduating June 22 this year and he will be with his ex for that as they co-parent very closely their son. His ex does have anger issues and did not take too kindly to me. She is very controlling of him and this is 7 yrs later. I turned my phone off and just gonna disappear for the night. Perhaps not the right thing to do but for now it is the right thing for me.
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