hardtohandlethis Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Yes, I'm 17. Yes, it's a "highschool crush" (as if that'll make it less important to me). Yes, I might not care about this in ten years. Right now I'm feeling **** and trying to make the problem seem less because I'm young wont help. I've had a crush on a girl for 6 months. She, I and a mutual friend started hanging out back then. I ****ing hate liking her. If I could go back and make sure I didn't meet her I would, without a doubt. She's the worst thing that's happened to me. She doesn't like me. Don't bother asking why I think she doesn't like me. I've known her for 6 months. It's obvious. I can tell. No doubt. It's been a rough couple of months. Realizing she doesn't feel the same sucks. I had only liked one person prior to her and that person got together with not only one, but two of my friends. So that went ****. But I know it's terrible when a friend gets together with someone you like and if that happens again it would honestly make me bat**** crazy. I told the mutual friend and he told me he didn't like her. This was a month or two ago. He still doesn't and I don't think he will either. But it's definitely plausible that she likes him. And even then, he's an extreme extrovert and therefore he's intimate with everyone. I hate it. I shouldn't expect anything from him after telling him really. But surely, if you had a friend who had a crush on a girl you knew. Would you decide to start ballet together with the girl in front of him? Would you constantly talk to primarily her when you're in a friend gang and he's with you? Would you make sure you almost always sit beside her? Would you dance waltz with the girl your friend likes in front of him? And he's ****ing clueless as if that were to make me feel worse. I understand she doesn't like me but does he have to be so ****ing in your face about it all. Why does he have to be so ****ing clingy with her when I'm around? I get that he's that kind of person but wouldn't you at least try to tone it down a bit if this friend is right ****ing beside you? I can't get out of this. I and the mutual friend go to a programme called Nature while she goes to a programme called Society. They are 3 years long. However, I'm changing to Society next term for unrelated reasons so I'm going to end up in her class. In her friend gang. With her constantly. So I can't tell her what I feel and how bad it is. It'd be awkward and might even ruin our friendship. The mutual friend and I have both started to hang out in that friend gang though so I doubt I'll see less of him. It's just... ****.
Assasda Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 We already answered this is another thread. Go back to that other thread
Dallers Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Yes, I'm 17. Yes, it's a "highschool crush" (as if that'll make it less important to me). Yes, I might not care about this in ten years. Right now I'm feeling **** and trying to make the problem seem less because I'm young wont help. I've had a crush on a girl for 6 months. She, I and a mutual friend started hanging out back then. I ****ing hate liking her. If I could go back and make sure I didn't meet her I would, without a doubt. She's the worst thing that's happened to me. She doesn't like me. Don't bother asking why I think she doesn't like me. I've known her for 6 months. It's obvious. I can tell. No doubt. It's been a rough couple of months. Realizing she doesn't feel the same sucks. I had only liked one person prior to her and that person got together with not only one, but two of my friends. So that went ****. But I know it's terrible when a friend gets together with someone you like and if that happens again it would honestly make me bat**** crazy. I told the mutual friend and he told me he didn't like her. This was a month or two ago. He still doesn't and I don't think he will either. But it's definitely plausible that she likes him. And even then, he's an extreme extrovert and therefore he's intimate with everyone. I hate it. I shouldn't expect anything from him after telling him really. But surely, if you had a friend who had a crush on a girl you knew. Would you decide to start ballet together with the girl in front of him? Would you constantly talk to primarily her when you're in a friend gang and he's with you? Would you make sure you almost always sit beside her? Would you dance waltz with the girl your friend likes in front of him? And he's ****ing clueless as if that were to make me feel worse. I understand she doesn't like me but does he have to be so ****ing in your face about it all. Why does he have to be so ****ing clingy with her when I'm around? I get that he's that kind of person but wouldn't you at least try to tone it down a bit if this friend is right ****ing beside you? I can't get out of this. I and the mutual friend go to a programme called Nature while she goes to a programme called Society. They are 3 years long. However, I'm changing to Society next term for unrelated reasons so I'm going to end up in her class. In her friend gang. With her constantly. So I can't tell her what I feel and how bad it is. It'd be awkward and might even ruin our friendship. The mutual friend and I have both started to hang out in that friend gang though so I doubt I'll see less of him. It's just... ****. It sounds as though you are in the fabled "Want what we cannot have" illness quite deep. I assume this started off pretty harmless but as things progressed you spent more and more time alone thinking and listening to love songs while your brain took over and told you that this was the only girl on the planet, but it is you that allowed it to happen. This is something we do to ourselves and sadly there is no cure, also it is fine coming here to vent but nothing we say will change anything because we are random strangers on the internet so why would you listen to us? What we can do is make you realise that you really have no possible chance of getting this girl, the outcome is 99.9% of the time going to be a bad one and if you were to even try and approach the idea at this moment in time it would most likely cause you to feel worse because you are so head over heels in your own head even if she agreed to go on a date you would be so smitten and show so much interest it would scare her away. However, you need to stop being so negative. You need to try and pull yourself out of this empty pit you have found yourself in and get back to living life by looking for someone new. These last 6 months you wasted I guarantee you have probably walked past or bumped into or spoken to 5-10 girls that could potentially be in your bed right now. You might have never posted this because you are too busy having s*x and I would probably still be eating my muesli with whey as I suck at Online dating and love being single The point is this, your situation is not a bad one but you are making it a bad one by the way you are acting. You cannot cure this feeling, but what you can do is control it. Enjoy the time you spend around her and continue down the path you are heading while living your life and dating other girls. The fact you will be in her circle has a funny way of working itself out, one day you might end up alone and she might show an interest in you but by that point you couldn't care less because she is a nobody compared to the great girl you currently have now. “A lot of people get so hung up on what they can't have that they don't think for a second about whether they really want it.”
Author hardtohandlethis Posted May 24, 2014 Author Posted May 24, 2014 It sounds as though you are in the fabled "Want what we cannot have" illness quite deep. I assume this started off pretty harmless but as things progressed you spent more and more time alone thinking and listening to love songs while your brain took over and told you that this was the only girl on the planet, but it is you that allowed it to happen. This is something we do to ourselves and sadly there is no cure, also it is fine coming here to vent but nothing we say will change anything because we are random strangers on the internet so why would you listen to us? What we can do is make you realise that you really have no possible chance of getting this girl, the outcome is 99.9% of the time going to be a bad one and if you were to even try and approach the idea at this moment in time it would most likely cause you to feel worse because you are so head over heels in your own head even if she agreed to go on a date you would be so smitten and show so much interest it would scare her away. However, you need to stop being so negative. You need to try and pull yourself out of this empty pit you have found yourself in and get back to living life by looking for someone new. These last 6 months you wasted I guarantee you have probably walked past or bumped into or spoken to 5-10 girls that could potentially be in your bed right now. You might have never posted this because you are too busy having s*x and I would probably still be eating my muesli with whey as I suck at Online dating and love being single The point is this, your situation is not a bad one but you are making it a bad one by the way you are acting. You cannot cure this feeling, but what you can do is control it. Enjoy the time you spend around her and continue down the path you are heading while living your life and dating other girls. The fact you will be in her circle has a funny way of working itself out, one day you might end up alone and she might show an interest in you but by that point you couldn't care less because she is a nobody compared to the great girl you currently have now. “A lot of people get so hung up on what they can't have that they don't think for a second about whether they really want it.” I know I'll never be able to be with her. But I know I wont get over her just like that. It takes time. And during this time I will get jealous and paranoid over this and that. What wont help what so ever is if my friend does all these things in front of me while I'm trying to get over her. Because it genuinely makes it so much worse. I know it's the wrong way of thinking but I can't help it. My self-esteem suffers because all I did was be myself. I was me. Even then it ended like this. It's easy to say it gets better but it's been going on for 6 months and it could very well go 6 months more and I'd feel the same. I don't want to sit in a classroom next term feeling **** while she talks about the ooo-so-fun ballet lessons she and the mutual friend goes to. And I don't want him to be there all the time. I'm so fed up with being near him, even if he has done nothing wrong. And while I'd really want to meet someone else, I'm never going to even try to date someone while I know that I still like this girl more because it'd be really unfair for the girl I were to date and it'd also make me feel bad. I'm 17 and I've met two people in my life that I've been interested in. They're not particularly frequent...
Dallers Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 I know I'll never be able to be with her. But I know I wont get over her just like that. It takes time. And during this time I will get jealous and paranoid over this and that. What wont help what so ever is if my friend does all these things in front of me while I'm trying to get over her. Because it genuinely makes it so much worse. I know it's the wrong way of thinking but I can't help it. My self-esteem suffers because all I did was be myself. I was me. Even then it ended like this. It's easy to say it gets better but it's been going on for 6 months and it could very well go 6 months more and I'd feel the same. I don't want to sit in a classroom next term feeling **** while she talks about the ooo-so-fun ballet lessons she and the mutual friend goes to. And I don't want him to be there all the time. I'm so fed up with being near him, even if he has done nothing wrong. And while I'd really want to meet someone else, I'm never going to even try to date someone while I know that I still like this girl more because it'd be really unfair for the girl I were to date and it'd also make me feel bad. I'm 17 and I've met two people in my life that I've been interested in. They're not particularly frequent... You just confirmed what I said above Nothing we say will do anything for you as you are here to vent. You can carry on down the path you are going most of us did at one point and we now look back in absolute terror at what we missed out on and how we wasted our life on a complete nobody. - When you say she will be in your class talking to her friends about fun things she does, good for her! She is not dwelling on a pathetic dream that is stuck in her head she is living her life and doing what she wants to do. - This is YOUR problem not hers. - You have done this to yourself and she has done nothing wrong. - You failed to act at the very beginning and by taking the path you did it shows that you never intended to act so you do not deserve her anyway. - If your mate does then that is because he is not doing what you are doing he is living his life and she can see that and wants him rather than you because of it. That hurt right ^^ p*ss you off hearing it? Good. It did to me as well at one point in my life but it is the truth. The situation will never change it is a rolling one which keeps going round in circles until you break the routine, you either break it or allow it to consume you. Either way you continue to damage your social life, self-confidence and esteem and psychologically it is bad for your health. Wake up and smell the roses.
Author hardtohandlethis Posted May 24, 2014 Author Posted May 24, 2014 You just confirmed what I said above Nothing we say will do anything for you as you are here to vent. You can carry on down the path you are going most of us did at one point and we now look back in absolute terror at what we missed out on and how we wasted our life on a complete nobody. - When you say she will be in your class talking to her friends about fun things she does, good for her! She is not dwelling on a pathetic dream that is stuck in her head she is living her life and doing what she wants to do. - This is YOUR problem not hers. - You have done this to yourself and she has done nothing wrong. - You failed to act at the very beginning and by taking the path you did it shows that you never intended to act so you do not deserve her anyway. - If your mate does then that is because he is not doing what you are doing he is living his life and she can see that and wants him rather than you because of it. That hurt right ^^ p*ss you off hearing it? Good. It did to me as well at one point in my life but it is the truth. The situation will never change it is a rolling one which keeps going round in circles until you break the routine, you either break it or allow it to consume you. Either way you continue to damage your social life, self-confidence and esteem and psychologically it is bad for your health. Wake up and smell the roses. The main reason the friend is pissing me off is because he's told me he doesn't like her. He's told me he'd tell me if he ever got interested. But he hasn't. Yet it feels like every time I meet her he's instantly there and he is always the center of attention because of his self-centered extrovert attitude. But sure, I didn't act. And sure, I don't deserve her. And of course I want her to be happy. The only thing that's making it difficult for me to slowly get over her is my friend. He might not do it intentionally but his way of being is extremely provocative.
Recommended Posts