ambermoeba Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 I was wondering if anybody could offer advice on texting etiquette after first dates, as articles on the internet seem to range from replying after 15 minutes to replying only after a day! I'm not trying to play games, but I think I've put someone off by being too clingy over text before and would like to err on the side of caution this time. So since a first date on Tuesday I would say I have texted him on average twice a day, but only in reply to texts he's sent me (and likewise, he only sends texts when I've replied to him). Whereas he tends to reply in a time period between 15 minutes and a few hours, it always takes me a few hours to look at my phone then think of a good reply. It's all light-hearted, and really I just want to maintain the conversation until he hopefully asks me out again. Is texting a few times a day too much? I don't really text any of the other people I'm seeing (although I don't like them quite so much!) so I'm worried I might be getting a bit clingy! Just a note: we're both university students, so calling isn't really a done thing- neither of us have home phones and both of us will be in the library much of the time! Also, he's graduating in a month, after which I am unlikely to see him again (different countries) so I'm not sure whether this should change how forward I am.
d0nnivain Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 College students tend to text a lot. Why not make the next text a suggestion to get together even it's just to study.
Gaeta Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 I was wondering if anybody could offer advice on texting etiquette after first dates, as articles on the internet seem to range from replying after 15 minutes to replying only after a day! These dating rules/games are ridiculous. People have different style and personalities. Some like texting a lot, some not so much. You should be true to your personality and if it doesn't suit your prospect then it's because you are not compatible. Some couples don't feel the need to speak or contact each day and it's ok if they both want so. If I dated someone like that I would be very unhappy as I prefer to touch base each day 1-2 times. So here is a new rule, be yourself. You feel like texting him randomly a couple of times during the day: do it. Men also need to feel they are interesting to us. As for your last bad experience he was probably not that into you. I would never get tired of getting texts from a man I genuinely like. 1
Author ambermoeba Posted May 24, 2014 Author Posted May 24, 2014 So texting a few times a day is regarded as okay? On a related note, are there any good ways of hinting I would like to be asked out again?
d0nnivain Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 A few times per day -- not really -- but I'm not in college. I rarely text my husband more than once per day. sometimes not even that much. Instead of hinting that you want to be asked out again, invite him to do something with you -- meet at a party, hang out in the food court, study. You initiate the get together.
angel.eyes Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 If you are texting to make sure he doesn't forget you, or you have to hint or ask for a second date, the guy isn't that interested. This guy doesn't seem terribly excited. Unfortunately, some guys will let you hang around until someone that truly excites them comes along.
Author ambermoeba Posted May 24, 2014 Author Posted May 24, 2014 I just want to emphasise that I don't send random texts, I only reply to what he has texted me (and likewise, he only replies to what I have texted him back). If you are texting to make sure he doesn't forget you, or you have to hint or ask for a second date, the guy isn't that interested. This guy doesn't seem terribly excited. Unfortunately, some guys will let you hang around until someone that truly excites them comes along. You could be right, although I was hoping it wouldn't be the case since he chased me for 6 months before I said yes to a date. Maybe after all that our first date was a bit of a disappointment! I do dislike texting... if there isn't a specific question in the next text he sends, would it be a good idea to just not reply unless he asks me out?
ASG Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Why can you not ask him out yourself though??? It's the 21st century! Women can (and should) take the reins, at least every once in a while. Like many people have said, ask him to hang out sometime, somewhere... there is no harm in that and it's not too clingy! 1
Pantiespending Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) I just want to emphasise that I don't send random texts, I only reply to what he has texted me (and likewise, he only replies to what I have texted him back). You could be right, although I was hoping it wouldn't be the case since he chased me for 6 months before I said yes to a date. Maybe after all that our first date was a bit of a disappointment! I do dislike texting... if there isn't a specific question in the next text he sends, would it be a good idea to just not reply unless he asks me out? Personally, I jut graduated and my game/idea of what I expect from a female have changed over the years. However, as of now I don't see or date women who don't regularly express interest or try to play games of me sort. I mean it's definitely got me what I wanted and saved me time. From a man's perspective if a girl expresses interest n I dig her too she will immensely speed up the process. If you've got a month text him and be you as others have said. Don't be clingy, just be forward, women are allowed to like sex, just be lady about it. Edited May 25, 2014 by Pantiespending
littleplanet Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 If you're having a problem with the technological format........you could always try switching to "20th" century technology. It works like this: Face to face / eye to eye / voice to voice. Sorry for the flippant tone...... but my attitude has always been that the damned little device works for me. If it doesn't, I flip it away and go back to what does work. (Me, in person.) You say he's leaving for another country? That doesn't give you much time to work with - if it really matters. I wouldn't waste it stressing over techno-ettiquette. You could just forget about verbal distractions You could always just use your live in-person charms! (Psst!) This has been known to work, you know. Why limit yourself to the "rules" of a little plastic toy?
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