photolic Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Resume of my story: My girlfriend dumped me after a 4 year relationship at 4 April 2014 so almost 2 month ago, their reasons at the time was something like i dont love you like i used to, i dont know whats going on, im not good with myself, im stressed with my exams and university, i need to be alone, bla bla bla, we didn't had sex for on month (red flag). We used to be like the perfect couple, very strong chemistry, played allot with which other, romantic she told me i was the boyfriend that she loved more and the only one she had made future plans with (she is only 25 so), bla bla bla still she breakup with me, friendly breakup no arguing no bad words, she even cried like a baby and hug me, and kissed me in the neck all the time" Well i started NC rule from the first day, i only replied to her text msg, strait to the point and without many talk. But today i went to my dentist, and when i was ready to go home, i saw her with 2 friends (girls), but she didn't saw me, i was inside the the dentist building at the time. My heart start to move really fast, i don´t know if was because of the dentist painkillers or what, but for the firs-time i broke the NC from my side. I text her saying "Hey, i just saw you passing by with your friends, when i was in the dentist today. I saw you smooth your hair, still i think the other one fits you better in the summer time, free the Curly hair again! " she replied saying "Hey, i just smooth the hair today, all of the other days i used my curly hair, its was a coincidence that you saw me like that! You could have called me and talk to me. Are your teeth shining???" I joked around a bit saying that my teeth are fine and beautiful just like my dog ones. After my joking text and without predicting it, she text me saying!!!! "We have to go to the cinema see Rio 2 (some kind of a animation film) if you want to come with me. I don't go to the cinema for a long time " I replied again: telling her i would like to see also a movie, but a different one, but i didn't know, i don't have much time lately, i will think about it, and say you something latter. She replied again "I like that movie you suggest also, You don't know???, are you making it difficult to come to cinema?? Ok." She expected for me to take her invite right away but i didn't, and i finish the message trading by saying, don't be like that, i will think i say something latter. Well the problem here is, the cinema is not the best place to see your ex-girlfriend for the firs-time in person, after 2 month with LC almost NC from me. If she want me was a friend its going to be hard, because i have to start the healing process again, i still love her, but im not healed, far from it, i'm just much more rational that emotional in this phase. What do you think i should do? gamble a date in cinema with her, because i have the power for invite her or not, im thinking to wait a week before i call her to go out to cinema but i dont know.
rubberman Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 Going to the cinema with her, would be a stupid idea. Ignore her messages and keep NC. She is keeping you around as a "friend". Most likely you will be hurt again. 3
Marco Valerio Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 I totally agree, if you are not sure of her intentions, if she is just trying to have you around, you should keep NC. 3
suchamamasboy Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 Hi Photolic, I'm sorry that you're going through that. I would suggest that you stick to NC if you don't think, or don't know, that she wants to reconcile. She can't have her cake and eat it too. By deciding that she no longer wants to be your girlfriend, she also simultaneously decided that she won't receive the benefits of being your girlfriend. It's not fair to you to have her in your life if she only wants to be friends, especially if you're hurting. It's going to delay the healing process for you. Don't go to the cinema with her. I know that it hurts now, but you'll be stronger eventually. I also kind of don't like how she said that you're making it difficult to go the cinema as if she's doing you a favor. Don't go with her. If you really want to see a movie, go with a friend or even go alone. I do it sometimes and its great 1
Author photolic Posted May 23, 2014 Author Posted May 23, 2014 I think you are right, she wants the best of 2 worlds, being single and a company to some events when she feel alone. Dunno, the ball is in my side, i just healed enough to face her, see how she react in the movie, try to understand her body language and her talk, if she is trying to get closer, or in the other hand she is trying to put me in the fried zone. If she try to label me was a friend, i vanish again for her sight. I think im prepared for this, still love her, but i started to meet a surfing teacher who really got my attention. So i realized, that world is full of woman's, I have a space in my heart for my ex, 4 years is a lot, and i don't have nothing to point at her, nor she have to point at me. So time will tell, if she is really the woman of my life time will get her back to me. I just don't want to close the door, at same time im moving with my life already. Im surfing like the old times, i just got a job today!! heyyy, im in the gym, starting to meet new people, working was volunteer with kids with cancer in the hospital. My life is full again 1
suchamamasboy Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 I think you are right, she wants the best of 2 worlds, being single and a company to some events when she feel alone. Dunno, the ball is in my side, i just healed enough to face her, see how she react in the movie, try to understand her body language and her talk, if she is trying to get closer, or in the other hand she is trying to put me in the fried zone. If she try to label me was a friend, i vanish again for her sight. I think im prepared for this, still love her, but i started to meet a surfing teacher who really got my attention. So i realized, that world is full of woman's, I have a space in my heart for my ex, 4 years is a lot, and i don't have nothing to point at her, nor she have to point at me. So time will tell, if she is really the woman of my life time will get her back to me. I just don't want to close the door, at same time im moving with my life already. Im surfing like the old times, i just got a job today!! heyyy, im in the gym, starting to meet new people, working was volunteer with kids with cancer in the hospital. My life is full again yay! I'm so proud of you. Look at all of the things that you're accomplishing! And I'm incredibly happy that you got a new job. And you're right, the world is full of women. And yeah, 4 years is an incredibly long time and I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you're in but let me just say that each day will get easier. You say that you don't want to close the door, but if she truly loved you, then you not contacting her for a while won't push her away forever. You need to heal photolic, and you can't do that while allowing her to remain in your life because she's hurting you. It seems like she's playing games and once again, I'll repeat that I don't like how she said that you're making going to the cinema difficult. Why don't you try focusing a little on the surfing teacher (hubba hubba! ) and more importantly, focus on yourself. If you reject the idea of going to the cinema, that's not closing the door on her forever, that's just protecting yourself. Whatever you choose to do, please look our for yourself and don't allow anyone to act like you're doing them a favor, or like you're a second choice because you should be no one's second choice. Good luck! 1
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