I get the jist of dating and being cool and collected but how can you trust her?

[thelonewolflegend]

I know you never ask exclusivity and you just show them good time and don't get too invested and first month do once a week dating. But how do you know basically when you kinda do want to see her more or want to do more for her or with her but she isn't sure about being with you?

 

Not sure if you guys understand my question fully but I hope so

 

 

Okay basically from my last girl i know she said wanted to do nice things for her you know seemed like wanted me to do more or show I appreciated her and try to keep her or whatever etc....

How do you guys know or when do you guys normally do romancing or nice dates or spend money on her or do more with her or for her?

If you dont know exculisivity

 

 

The girl I was with told me she felt like friends with benefits and like I guess didn't do a whole bunch of things I would take her out on dates and dinner and she come over my house but said she felt like friends with benefits. So what would be examples of her not to feel like that for women in future??

[thelonewolflegend]

bumpahhhhhhh

[DArtagnan2]

its hard to understand, but I think you are asking, how to let her know that you want to be exclusive? That you are playing it cool because it is within the 1st month or so yet she says she feels like a friends with benefits because you haven't let her know you want to be exclusive?

 

If so, then the perfect time to let her know is when she said she felt like a friends with benefits. You could have confirmed you liked her more than that and then asked where she stood.

 

If I didn't interpret your post right, my apologies.

[thelonewolflegend]

my bad what I am saying is when she feels like friends with benefits what do you do normally during dating process to make her not feel like that? Also when do you usually do more like after a month? etc... Like how do you know when you can start seeing her more then once a week and setting up more dates and having her come over etc....? What do you guys normally do for romancing or dates after a while of dating a woman?

 

 

Not sure if you do flowers chocolate or gifts I mean first month I wouldn't think so but advice on these questions appreciated. Thanks

[DArtagnan2]

Im sick of trying to figure out what is right to do, what not to do its exhausting. How soon is too soon to call, text, ask out again, etc. I wish it was as easy as it should be and if you want to call or text you should be able to. If you want to do something go do it regardless if you are in the first month or not.

 

I don't think anyone knows whats really right or wrong and truthfully, waste too much effort and time trying to figure it out. it really leads more to relationships ending not starting. She has said she feels more like a friends with benefits, so I am guessing she is looking for more?

 

here's a thought, talk to her. If she made that comment, I feel its Ok to ask her why she said it and is she looking for more. Then you let her know where you stand. Buy flowers if you want, have romantic dinners, just watch Tv, whatever it is you and she want to do. just be you.

[thelonewolflegend]

she wouldn't really tell me when I asked her n stuff so yeah she pretty much broke me off and was making excuses.

[thelonewolflegend]

basically you guys aren't exculsive would you do special things for her?

[DArtagnan2]

basically you guys aren't exculsive would you do special things for her?

 

yes, it was part of the courtship for me, at least. I like to do things like that whether it is a month in, or years later. I don't always bring flowers, but will bring something small I may know she likes.

[thelonewolflegend]

So after a month you pretty much got to do that stuff shows you think about her to convince her to want to be with you?

[d0nnivain]

Friends with benefits don't date. They simply have sex. Maybe they hang out but there is no courting. You don't have to treat her (pay for her etc).

 

 

If you meet a woman you like, you take her on a date. Once you start to like her more, you plan more dates per week with her. If you want the romance to blossom, you don't push for sex too early & you discuss what exclusivity & commitment mean to you both before you have sex for the 1st time.

 

 

I always start by trusting the person I'm dating. If I don't trust them off the bat, I don't date them. Trust doesn't mean turn a blind eye. If I see or hear things that don't make sense, I ask Qs. I also google people & I call at different times of day to make sure that they are who they say they are & are free to date me.

[clia]

I know you never ask exclusivity and you just show them good time and don't get too invested and first month do once a week dating.

 

Where are you getting these rules? You can see her more than once a week and you can ask for exclusivity whenever you are ready.

 

How do you guys know or when do you guys normally do romancing or nice dates or spend money on her or do more with her or for her?

If you dont know exculisivity

 

Most guys do romancing anytime from the first date on with a woman they are interested in having a romantic relationship with. This is the stuff that convinces her that she wants to be with you. If you are saving it until after exclusivity, that's not a very good approach.

 

Call her, offer to pick her up when you go out, take her out places (don't invite her to your place to "hang out" and watch TV), bring her flowers (or a flower), be sweet, hold her hand, take her to romantic places, etc. Make plans for your dates. Don't just say "so what do you want to do?" If you want to take her out to dinner, make a reservation. Just make an effort. Don't treat her like she's your buddy.

[thelonewolflegend]

sosuave and corey wayne and relationship experts to women it looks needy and desperate if you are the one wanting relationship you just have to show her a good time once a week and all and let her bring it up.

[thelonewolflegend]

its hard to see me want to try to romance a girl because the girl I was seeing 2 months pretty much blocked me off and I was going to be more romantic so how can you trust a woman enough to be romantic because I also learned its weak and stuff I mean I am confused here!!!!!!!

[d0nnivain]

sosuave and corey wayne and relationship experts to women it looks needy and desperate if you are the one wanting relationship you just have to show her a good time once a week and all and let her bring it up.

 

 

Those Rules & the book by the same name for women are guidelines. The aren't meant to be taken as an exact formula.

 

 

All of the self help books boil down to two concepts: You need self confidence / self esteem and self respect.

[DArtagnan2]

its hard to see me want to try to romance a girl because the girl I was seeing 2 months pretty much blocked me off and I was going to be more romantic so how can you trust a woman enough to be romantic because I also learned its weak and stuff I mean I am confused here!!!!!!!

 

Where did you hear it was weak to treat a woman like a woman? To romance and court her with more then just take out chinese and sex?

[thelonewolflegend]

Sosuave n stuff. What are examples of courting n stuff and doing things besides chinese and sex like you mentioned?

[clia]

I went back and looked at your old post about this issue with your ex to see if I can clarify things for you.

 

We have great time when we get together and we had alittle talk she was complaining was saying she wanted go out more. I said what you mean? she said she wants to do different things like she feels like on a routine coming over tues and thurs after my training and once in a while Saturdays going out for dinner

 

So, your method of courting her and trying to get her to want to be exclusive with you was to have her come to your place twice a week, and to take her out for dinner once in a while? It's lazy to expect a new girlfriend to just come to your house twice a week when it is convenient for you. That is the basis of her complaint -- you weren't doing anything but expecting her to come to you (and I assume expecting her to have sex with you), and taking her out once in a while. That sounds boring as heck. You were less than two months into the relationship! You should've been going out and having fun!

 

I said well where do you want to go? she wouldn't tell me just says its nice when I had dinner at my house or make dinner or something like that so I didn't understand this thing 100% if means go different places or do stuff more while were out or what?

 

It means have a plan to take her out on a date or to do something for her. Don't just expect her to come to your house twice a week and have sex with you.

 

Also complained on how I used coupon when we went dinner and felt saying I was cheap I said no and told her bout past relationships spent lot of money on women she just wants me take her nice place once in a while and not be looked at as cheap.

 

What was the coupon for? Did you ever take her to a nice place? What kind of restaurants did you take her to when you took her out once in a while? It's not her fault that you got burned in the past. Being cheap is not a way to impress a woman if you want to be exclusive with her.

 

Also saying may 12 is when she starts her job hint and she wants me to get her flowers few times a year

 

This doesn't sound that demanding to me. A few times a year -- that's her birthday, Valentine's Day, and one other time, just because.

 

and say that I miss her n stuff (I got out of long term relationship last year I was in 2 long terms and worn out I really just looked at having fun but this girl asking for this stuff advise.)

 

If you were just looking to have fun, why are you so broken up about this breakup? Yes, it's nice to tell a girl that you miss her. Girls like to hear that when they like you.

 

On other message board they said I should next her and she is gold digger. I don't see her as a gold digger just started complaining about this also she isn't asking for me take her shopping or take care of her like my exes she isn't that expensive just wanted me do nice stuff once in a while she said like nice dinner or flowers.

 

She was merely asking for you to make a little effort. That's it.

 

Also she complained about it being routine like being the girl comes over every few times a week to have sex then once in a while go out for dinner she wanted me to take her out more or be different I wasn't sure what that meant. What do you usually do weekly with your significant others?

 

I'm sure it was very boring to go to your house twice a week to have sex and watch TV. It probably also got really old only going out to dinner once in a while. What does that mean? Go places. Concerts, museums, parks, walks, the beach, restaurants, movies, bars, clubs, the zoo, etc.

[Assasda]

It depends on how she acts if you want to escalate the relationship.

 

If she is kind and tender, and trusts you more. you can wine and dine her more.

If she seems like she's willing to look out for you and if she has your best interest in mind, then you can by her gifts and treat her a little bit more special.

 

It all depends on how she treats you.

If she puts out an effort to make you feel special. Try to make her feel special as well.

 

So if a woman is romantic with you. If she treats you like a strong man with needs, you have license to be romantic with her, and show her a good time.

 

 

But if she stops being romantic, and tender, You definitely should stop as well

[thelonewolflegend]

what are examples of making for special or being romantic besides sex and telling me nice things? Broken up because I did want her more but basically when I did and wanted to do more things she backed off.

[d0nnivain]

You make someone feel special by paying attention to them. Look deeply into her eyes when she speaks. Be an active listener. Ask Qs about what she's saying.

 

You can be romantic a variety of ways:

• Go dancing. Even plug into your i-pod & twirl her around a field.
  
• Go for walks & hold her hand.
  
• Get her one single perfect rose.
  
• Send her a flirty / cute / loving text.
  
• Send her a sappy snail mail card (actually mail it with a stamp & everything).
  
• Have a picnic
  
• Dine by candlelight -- whether in a fancy restaurant or at a table in the backyard
  
• Put your arm around her when sitting down
  
• Watch a romantic movie with her
  
• Order / make small bites for dinner & hand feed each other
  
• Take a bath together; if you aren't at that level of physical intimacy you can still draw her a bath
  
• Buy her a scented candle
  
• Get her some lingierie
  

Just use your imagination but focus on her & let the rest of the world fade away

[thelonewolflegend]

point is she complaind about these things then after that was acting weird and distant and acting like not wanting to see me and I was gonna do these things for her and she pretty much made up in her mind block me off it don't make sense.

[thelonewolflegend]

how do you have meaningful relationships

[d0nnivain]

If you were doing those things for a woman & she backed off after complaining about them, you have a meaningful relationship by getting a different woman. The one you have may be a better candidate for the FWB you seem to be seeking in another thread. FWBs only require you to pay attention when they are giving you info about how they want the sex.

[Versacehottie]

Some ways you can do this:

 

*When you are out with her, talk about future things you want to do with her. Shows that you are truly "considering" a significant relationship with her. Makes her feel special.

 

*Listen to what she says and try to go in depth with your conversations--whether they be silly or serious. It will give you material to make the most of your connection with her--having your own private jokes, noticing things when you are not spending time together that you think she will like or appreciate or remind you of her or something she is interested in. Makes her feel special.

 

*Have the guts to let her into some of your feelings about surface-y things and then some deeper. Tell her things that you don't easily reveal to just anyone. Makes her feel special.

 

*Be creative with your dates. It all doesn't have to be about money only. Showing you want to do a variety of activities shows that you care enough to make an effort and a plan. It also shows her that you are not boring or just after a FWB situation. When you do go back to the same restaurant or decide to stay home with her, make an effort to let her know the why of it: we had such fun at this restaurant last time or i'm tired and want to relax at home but love relaxing with you and when you come over let's do this and think of fun stuff to do at home. Makes her feel special

 

*Be spontaneous with your contact. It's nice to get a text or a call or an invite at the last minute, just because someone missed you and wanted to hear your voice or see you. Makes her feel special

 

*Check yourself for selfish behavior. If she was feeling like FWB only then chances are your behavior was self-centered and lazy. Try to think of how the things you do or don't do will affect her and make conscious choices that will propel the relationship in the direction you want to go.

 

Good luck with the next one.

[thelonewolflegend]

how do you go on depth what is examples?