contact1 Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 I can't post the video here but if you look up Chris Rock - Want some d!ck on youtube it explains this situation exactly Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 But assuming that you know exactly what other peoples friendships are like! You can only judge the relationships your in so you can only judge the friendships you hold! I could give you 2 friends right now that are girls, I've known one since i was 5, one since I was 10....Sexual tension? Pfftt! hilarious! I cant speak French soo no one else can, right? - that's the logic that's being used in this thread! I understand biology and science. I dont claim to know what every single friendship is like, but there are patterns... But putting that by the by what even does make a up a platonic friendship between anyone? Be is same sex or opposite sex.....friendship is a funny thing cause its not a fixed definition, some folks will call the person they have coffee with once a month a friend, some will save it for the guy who'd take a bullet for them - theres different levels of friendship. Are ANY two friendships really the same? There all based on different things and work in different ways. Hence to say all friendships between X and Y will result in Z is naive. Here we go...Men and women can be platonic friends if you include sex and sexual tension as being platonic. Yeah that happens, but whats that got to do with the question? Some same sex friendships one person puts in way more and the other only wants them when there useful - that happens too. Doesn't mean folk never make genuine friends. You're right, it is off topic. To answer the question, OP, nothing bad happens to you if you have less male friends. You simply have less drama in your life. You don't have to deal with them. You don't have to deal with the sexual tension if you don't want to. You can still get guidance from a man. The key is creating enough distance and keeping things strictly BUSINESS. Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 I think people CAN have opposite sex friendships. BUT...if a man has pretty much exclusively female friends and the male friends he does have are not....manly, that can be a red flag. I learned this the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 I've never had a plutonic male friend (married or unmarried). They have all wanted more physically and/or emotionally. Speaking from experience, the only way to be friends with a man is to keep your distance or keep the relationship professional as others have posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 I understand biology and science. I dont claim to know what every single friendship is like, but there are patterns... And there in lies the answer! I don't argue with the pattern! But not everyone fits the mold...so CAN guys and girls be platonic friends, without any sexual tension, sure, of course, because even if like 1% don't fit that pattern that would equate to 1000's of friendships. I guess the more interesting thing would be what makes certain relationships not fit the pattern. I dunno about that, but like I say it would surprise me if like the growing up from children together can do it Here we go...Men and women can be platonic friends if you include sex and sexual tension as being platonic. Yeah sure - ive been in one. But equally if you dont't - I have a few of those too. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 Ive had only one true female "friend" in my entire life..My office manager..But she is kinda like the sister I wished I had...but never had any others and never wanted to.... Its a few things, for me anyway... There are no women I know of that have a keen interest in business, construction, investing and the equity markets, pro sports(esp NFL), cars and drag racing, etc...Most would be bored to tears over this stuff-yet me and my male friends can go on for hours about it..Conversely, most of the things that twist the knobs of the average woman are just a bore to me.. As a big strong guy with a pickup truck and a lot of skills, I already have too many "friends" anyway....I dont need any more...I never get anything in return... YMMV TFY Link to post Share on other sites
iiiii Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 The thing is often times women blur the boundaries and men do it too, but it seems women do it more. If a woman claims she is friends with me then I pull the fix me up test. I will see if she is willing to fix me up with someone. If she is not then I see it's just an ego boost for her and not really a friendship. Yes! And the opposite is true as well. If a male "friend" isn't excited and happy for you when you tell him you have a new boyfriend... if instead he gets moody, withdrawn or upset... then he's not really a friend. He's just a wannabe boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Absinthe Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I have noticed that some people are able to maintain friendships with the opposite sex without wanting to hop into bed with them, whilst others are not. In the case of the latter, it seems to be an insecurity thing. One guy I dated had no female friends, so I naturally found it suspect as soon as he got friendly with a girl. I later found out he had cheated on me with or slept with ALL of his female "friends". He was unbelievably insecure, and needed to prove himself a lot. That was one way to do it. My last ex had a lot of platonic female friends, and based on my experiences with Mr Cheater I was wary. But I soon learned that these were truly healthy, platonic friendships, and I never had any reason to suspect shenanigans. I myself have a mix of male and female friends and consider it a red flag if someone's friendship group consists of only one gender. Any time I've met a woman who says "I only befriend men, women are so mean" there's a damn good reason for that and it's got nothing to do with other women... Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I have noticed that some people are able to maintain friendships with the opposite sex without wanting to hop into bed with them, whilst others are not. In the case of the latter, it seems to be an insecurity thing. One guy I dated had no female friends, so I naturally found it suspect as soon as he got friendly with a girl. I later found out he had cheated on me with or slept with ALL of his female "friends". He was unbelievably insecure, and needed to prove himself a lot. That was one way to do it. My last ex had a lot of platonic female friends, and based on my experiences with Mr Cheater I was wary. But I soon learned that these were truly healthy, platonic friendships, and I never had any reason to suspect shenanigans. I myself have a mix of male and female friends and consider it a red flag if someone's friendship group consists of only one gender. Any time I've met a woman who says "I only befriend men, women are so mean" there's a damn good reason for that and it's got nothing to do with other women... Cheating had nothing to do with the fact that he had no female friends...There are plenty of guys that have no female friends and wont be unfaithful.. I think Id tend to believe a woman was insecure if she tended to want to keep a lot of male(heterosexual) friends...Some of these women only have those guys around to boost their own ego and make them feel desired(even if not in a sexual manner) by a member of the opposite sex.,. YMMV TFY Link to post Share on other sites
littleplanet Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Okay. One more kick at the can. I admit.....I certainly noticed the older I got the more plentiful mixed friendships got, and the easier they were to maintain. I'm taking this to be a sign of maturity. Yet the whole thing kicked off when I was only 18. Obviously, for this to work at all, it takes two people who make friends and who know how to maintain a friendship outside of sexual or romantic attraction. (or at least keeping this from where you both mutually don't want it to go.) It's a funny thing. When my son was a teenager, it used to give me fits. He had loads of volatile roller coaster relationships - yet also had loads of female friends, too. At times it seemed to me.....that one of these friends would have been a much better romantic fit. But he was adamant and stubborn - as were they......that friendship was all that would ever be on the table. I recall no stories of teenaged angst of unrequitement, either side. To this day, his life still follows this pattern (though his relationship history has improved remarkably, now that he's an adult.) This used to be common (at least in my social circles.) Have we evolved as a species where this just isn't the norm, anymore. Did I grow up in a rarified bubble? I wonder................................. Mutual interests? Kids. Books Music Film Art Photography Dance Stories, stories and more stories. I guess perhaps because I never really did the football / beer swilling / Nascar / huntin' hurtin' and fishin' thing..................... maybe that had something to do with it. Though I must admit: some of the best laughs I've had in my life have been explaining a major league baseball game to a woman. And yes - some of the most rabid fans I know are women. (We just have a completly different point of view about "cute" butts, is all................................................. Link to post Share on other sites
Absinthe Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I think Id tend to believe a woman was insecure if she tended to want to keep a lot of male(heterosexual) friends...Some of these women only have those guys around to boost their own ego and make them feel desired(even if not in a sexual manner) by a member of the opposite sex.,. yep, that was my point Link to post Share on other sites
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