Dont want to push him away!!! =(

[Suzieee90]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri]First off, I want to mention that I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months. He really liked me in high school but we never talked much ( I was shy) until we had to work on a project together. He asked me out early 2013 and we went out twice but I didn’t like him. We started dating again in October 2013 after he was moved back home from college. We have had a few bumps in the road, a few disagreements, but nothing to keep us from being together. We truly love each other a lot. He says all the times he would give anything for me to trust him. Deep down I do, but have been through a lot in my past relationships so it has affected me. I don’t think for a second he would cheat on me, but that doesn’t stop me from questioning him from time to time. He is jealous of me too at times. Any way, yesterday we had plans to see each other and at the last minute he told me one of his guy friends had wanted to go out to the movies and to eat. I sort of got mad and said “well, if youd rather see them then go on.” He knew I was hurt so said no, that we could see each other. Of course, then I thought he was only seeing me because I had run my big mouth so I said no, seriously, he should go on. I barely responded to any of his texts throughout the evening. The reason I was mad (besides the obvious one – that he took them over me) is that I was 99% sure a female friend of the gang was going. I told my boyfriend the only reason he was going was probably because she would be there. Looking back, that was stupid because they’ve been friends for years and if he wanted to date her, he could’ve…long before he asked me out. Plus, he knows shes not my favorite person so he has avoided her altogether for a while now…they talk some but don’t really hang out since he has me now. Anyway, long story short….she didn’t go. I wrongly accused him. I jumped the gun. I was wrong. They put pictures on facebook and she wasn’t in any of them. I also asked him this morning and he said she didn’t. I feel like a total douche now. I have a good guy but I scared to death my insecurities will push him away. He still sent me a good morning text this morning and kept telling me how much he missed me yesterday evening, even after I was a douche. I know sometimes I don’t deserve him. However, there are times when he doesn’t deserve me either (different story for another day). Does anyone think we can last? He discusses marriage all the time. Yes, we see a future together. I get jealous some but its because I love him so much. Does anyone think he will stick it out with me for the long run? I love him so much…feeling guilty now. Also he is 25 and I’m 24 BTW[/FONT]

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[J2911]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri]First off, I want to mention that I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months. He really liked me in high school but we never talked much ( I was shy) until we had to work on a project together. He asked me out early 2013 and we went out twice but I didn’t like him. We started dating again in October 2013 after he was moved back home from college. We have had a few bumps in the road, a few disagreements, but nothing to keep us from being together. We truly love each other a lot. He says all the times he would give anything for me to trust him. Deep down I do, but have been through a lot in my past relationships so it has affected me. I don’t think for a second he would cheat on me, but that doesn’t stop me from questioning him from time to time. He is jealous of me too at times. Any way, yesterday we had plans to see each other and at the last minute he told me one of his guy friends had wanted to go out to the movies and to eat. I sort of got mad and said “well, if youd rather see them then go on.” He knew I was hurt so said no, that we could see each other. Of course, then I thought he was only seeing me because I had run my big mouth so I said no, seriously, he should go on. I barely responded to any of his texts throughout the evening. The reason I was mad (besides the obvious one – that he took them over me) is that I was 99% sure a female friend of the gang was going. I told my boyfriend the only reason he was going was probably because she would be there. Looking back, that was stupid because they’ve been friends for years and if he wanted to date her, he could’ve…long before he asked me out. Plus, he knows shes not my favorite person so he has avoided her altogether for a while now…they talk some but don’t really hang out since he has me now. Anyway, long story short….she didn’t go. I wrongly accused him. I jumped the gun. I was wrong. They put pictures on facebook and she wasn’t in any of them. I also asked him this morning and he said she didn’t. I feel like a total douche now. I have a good guy but I scared to death my insecurities will push him away. He still sent me a good morning text this morning and kept telling me how much he missed me yesterday evening, even after I was a douche. I know sometimes I don’t deserve him. However, there are times when he doesn’t deserve me either (different story for another day). Does anyone think we can last? He discusses marriage all the time. Yes, we see a future together. I get jealous some but its because I love him so much. Does anyone think he will stick it out with me for the long run? I love him so much…feeling guilty now. Also he is 25 and I’m 24 BTW[/FONT]

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Hello ,

It sounds like you have a really nice guy who tries to do right by you.

Make sure you acknowledge your wrong with him knowing and feeling you jumped the gun and you did wrong and are sorry .

Work on that. If he has had some bad experiences in the past and that's why he gets jealous and also maybe why is considering your thoughts to by saying no he wouldnt go.

Work hard on your alls jealousy issues and or insecurities and you both can have a successful relationship , sure !

It takes a lot of time and open communication and listening to be successful in all relationships especially in ones that involves trust and insecurity issues .

Hang in there and good luck

[ExpatInItaly]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri]First off, I want to mention that I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months. He really liked me in high school but we never talked much ( I was shy) until we had to work on a project together. He asked me out early 2013 and we went out twice but I didn’t like him. We started dating again in October 2013 after he was moved back home from college. We have had a few bumps in the road, a few disagreements, but nothing to keep us from being together. We truly love each other a lot. He says all the times he would give anything for me to trust him. Deep down I do, but have been through a lot in my past relationships so it has affected me. I don’t think for a second he would cheat on me, but that doesn’t stop me from questioning him from time to time. He is jealous of me too at times. Any way, yesterday we had plans to see each other and at the last minute he told me one of his guy friends had wanted to go out to the movies and to eat. I sort of got mad and said “well, if youd rather see them then go on.” He knew I was hurt so said no, that we could see each other. Of course, then I thought he was only seeing me because I had run my big mouth so I said no, seriously, he should go on. I barely responded to any of his texts throughout the evening. The reason I was mad (besides the obvious one – that he took them over me) is that I was 99% sure a female friend of the gang was going. I told my boyfriend the only reason he was going was probably because she would be there. Looking back, that was stupid because they’ve been friends for years and if he wanted to date her, he could’ve…long before he asked me out. Plus, he knows shes not my favorite person so he has avoided her altogether for a while now…they talk some but don’t really hang out since he has me now. Anyway, long story short….she didn’t go. I wrongly accused him. I jumped the gun. I was wrong. They put pictures on facebook and she wasn’t in any of them. I also asked him this morning and he said she didn’t. I feel like a total douche now. I have a good guy but I scared to death my insecurities will push him away. He still sent me a good morning text this morning and kept telling me how much he missed me yesterday evening, even after I was a douche. I know sometimes I don’t deserve him. However, there are times when he doesn’t deserve me either (different story for another day). Does anyone think we can last? He discusses marriage all the time. Yes, we see a future together. I get jealous some but its because I love him so much. Does anyone think he will stick it out with me for the long run? I love him so much…feeling guilty now. Also he is 25 and I’m 24 BTW[/FONT]

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Hey, OP, I responded to your other thread too. But I feel the need to say a couple things here as well.

 

1) You do not get jealous because you love him so very much. You get jealous because you are insecure. Saying you behave that way because you love him is minimizing your personal responsibility in this.

 

2) If this behaviour continues, then no, I don't think he will stick it out. Blunt, I know But I have been in his position. I couldn't tolerate it for very long and honestly felt a big weight lift when I finally had the sense to walk.

 

Having said that, I do think there's potential to salvage it. You acknowledge that your insecurity and your issues are the root of this. That's a big step. You have to ask yourself what you don't love about yourself that makes you so jealous and anxious. I'm not saying he's completely innocent; I don't know. Reading your post, I was very surprised you're in your twenties. This is more typical of someone a lot younger than you. If you can work toward rebuilding your self-esteem and establishing trust with your boyfriend, it could work. But do not ever project your own issues on to him or it will end in disaster.

 

I asked a question in your last thread that I think went unanswered but could help clarify this situation: had you actually already confirmed plans with your boyfriend on that night?

[Suzieee90]

ExpatInItaly...We both are very busy so we have "days" set aside to see each other. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and usually Sunday are "our days." Wednesday he has something work related in the evenings. Tuesday and Thursday I have some exercise groups I take part in but we still see each other later in the evenings. So, yes, Tuesday is one of "our days." Monday night when I left, I said "I hope I will see you soon." His reply was "well, we should get to tomorrow."

 

 

To answer your other question - I am very insecure. My whole life people have commented how beautiful I am, how I should be a model, compete in pageants, and even be a Victorias Secret model if I could. However, I have no self esteem. Nothing that anyone tells me will build my self esteem. I don't want to be a complainer because I am very blessed and there are a lot of things I love about myself (I have a good heart, pretty hair, long legs and a nice butt). I don't like my nose and also think I'm too tall. I think my voice is childish sounding. So these things make me have no self esteem. I am a great person and everyone tells my boyfriend how lucky he is to have me. However, I question myself all the time...Why would he stay with YOU? of all people? he'll be gone soon enough...why would he stick with you of all girls in the world??