dudeguy56 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Hello, I'm 17 years old and I've liked a girl since October. We're friends. She doesn't know that I like her but I know 100% that she doesn't like me. I can't avoid her because then I'd be avoiding all my friends. Next term we're going to get into the same class. (We currently go to two different programmes (which means different classes) but I'm changing to her programme because it better fit my interests.) There's no point in taking a distance because it's literally not possible. I love everything about her and it's so so so so so excruciating. I wish I never met her, because then I'd never know that someone like her existed. I want to stay friends but I can't feel good as long as I still like her. I just genuinely have no idea what to do. Is there anything I can do? I could tell her but how would that help? Our relationship gets awkward, I'll get into her class where we'll feel even more uncomfortable. And when I get into her class I might be alone because she might not want me to be with her friends as long as our relationship is awkward. I could shut up and continue being a friend. But it makes me feel **** and genuinely bad about myself. My self-esteem has suffered GREATLY from this. I could shut up and ignore her. But that's unfair to her. She might wonder if she did something wrong. It seems rude. When I get into her class I might be lonely because I've more or less severed our relationship. Let's say you got to know for five minutes that your friend felt this way. You'd know you'd forget about it in five minutes again. If you could tell him/yourself what to do in this situation before you forgot about it again... what would you say?
Author dudeguy56 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Grow a spine and put the ball in her court. Tell her how you feel and deal with the results, its better than carrying this burden around all the time, never be afraid to take the shot. You have to want the ball at the end of the game. You cant make a shot without taking one. There is a 50/50 chance she doesnt say no. No there's a 100% chance she'll say no. I'm not trying to sound like a defeatist but I'd be a fool if I thought otherwise. I KNOW she doesn't like me, no doubt what so ever. The problem with telling her is that I'd be forced to hang out in a friends gang that she's in even if it gets awkward.
Dallers Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 This girl is not to blame you are. This is all in your head and you have failed to act so you are facing the consequences. You do not become friends with a girl you like it is simple. You cannot tell someone that you like them because the friendship then changes, the trust and bond you have with a person then becomes awkward because it involves emotional and sexual feelings. If you do not care about the friendship go with Mike's idea as you have nothing to lose, if you do then you need to get your s*it together and look for another girl and not lose a valuable friend. You need to decide what you need to do and do it. If you cannot be around her because of the way you feel you need to evade the friendship and that can be done. By continuing to play the nice guy because you do not want to hurt her you are wasting your own life by living in this dream world and you are missing out on potential women you could be having a relationship with. The quicker you learn this the better, because you will look back at this with deep regret when you are realise how much time you wasted.
Author dudeguy56 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 This girl is not to blame you are. This is all in your head and you have failed to act so you are facing the consequences. You do not become friends with a girl you like it is simple. You cannot tell someone that you like them because the friendship then changes, the trust and bond you have with a person then becomes awkward because it involves emotional and sexual feelings. If you do not care about the friendship go with Mike's idea as you have nothing to lose, if you do then you need to get your s*it together and look for another girl and not lose a valuable friend. You need to decide what you need to do and do it. If you cannot be around her because of the way you feel you need to evade the friendship and that can be done. By continuing to play the nice guy because you do not want to hurt her you are wasting your own life by living in this dream world and you are missing out on potential women you could be having a relationship with. The quicker you learn this the better, because you will look back at this with deep regret when you are realise how much time you wasted. I don't blame her. I never said I did? Of course I care about the friendship but it's not really good if I feel bad when I'm around her. But I can't avoid her because next year when I switch classes I WILL end up in her friend gang because I already know people there. Granted, I know them through her but that doesn't mean that the friendship I have with them is of any less worth either.
Assasda Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I'm a little confused here, Did you say that you guys are friends, BUT SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU? I know she doesnt like you romantically. But does she like you as a friend? Anyway, if she doesnt like you, might want to let her see you in a different light
Author dudeguy56 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 I'm a little confused here, Did you say that you guys are friends, BUT SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU? I know she doesnt like you romantically. But does she like you as a friend? Anyway, if she doesnt like you, might want to let her see you in a different light No, I mean she likes me as a friend.
d0nnivain Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Put some emotional distance in your relationship. Gradually hang out with her less, don't call/ text as much. Use the time you now have which you would have spent hanging out with her as a friend to find yourself a GF. Once you do, it will hurt less that she only sees you as a friend.
Assasda Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Ok, here is what you do if you want her to look at you romantically. Stop acting like she's a frend. Still be a gentleman, but dont say hello to her when you walk in the room or ask her what she did on the weekend. Show her that you are a sexual being, make inuendo towards her, and bascially abe a pervert. But never tell her trash, like "She's beautiful" or "I really like you" If she has some cool shoes on, Tell her, you like her shoes and stuff, but the key is, let her see you as a sexual being, let her see you has a man with a penis, and a man that has needs, and when you get signs from her that she's interested, ask her to hang out with you somewhere
Dallers Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 For the record ^^ works like 0.00001% of the time. You are most likely going to carry on wasting time on a girl that does not like you like that. Find someone else.
Assasda Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 yeah, and also, date other women, while you do this 1
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