Navy Ex Boyfriend break up confusion?

[HeyHannahHey]

Hello, I'm new here everyone. My name is Hannah.

I'm entirely too confused and heartbroken. My recent ex boyfriend will be leaving for Navy boot camp on June 18th.

I am so confused, lost, heartbroken...

 

We were (and I still believe we are) completely in love. He told always was telling me that he will write me letters and as soon as he could send for me, he would. He told me he knew that I was the one he wanted to come home to everyday. We talked about marriage together. We talked about kids and what their names would be together. He made a promise that no matter what he would always be there right behind me. But I did question the promise couple times and he would get upset. He would tell me that he promised his grandma he would never break a promise. And his grandma the one he looked up to is not alive anymore so he is very serious about what he promises. And I learned to believe it. He's right. He never promises anything unless he knows 110%. But anyways our relationship was so great. With the occasional little fights every now and then. He had so much faith in us. When mine shook, he always always always reassured me that he wasn't going any place. He put me in his military plans and told me that I was the spine of his plans. He said he couldn't wait to be a father to our children someday. My parents didn't agree of us that even one day my mom forbid us to even see eachother. It hurt him hard. But it didn't stop him. It made him that much more confident to prove them wrong. He cared what they thought be he really believed we were soul mates and their was no stopping us.

But...

About a two weeks ago he started acting different and I was always asking him what was wrong and he always denied anything being wrong and for me not to worry. About a week ago we were together in his car and I still tried to get him to talk to me and tell me what was wrong but he said nothing. And that I was looking for something that wasn't gonna be found. That he loves me. And about 5 days ago I asked him if it was me, if he wanted to break up and he responded that he couldn't believe he was asking me that question and that he still wanted to be with me. That same day he said that something his chief told him awhile ago when he was single has been bothering him. And that we would talk in person but it was nothing "bad" and for me to not go get all sad. But two days after he texted me, YES TEXTED ME, and told me that he didn't want to do this but he has to that we need to break up. He said, all his feelings for me are real but because of his career path he chose he needed to focus and to not mess it up. And that his plate was filled long before he met me. He said I didn't do anything. He said his chief asked him if being in a relationship would stop him from going and that he of course said no but in reality he almost did because he didn't wanna hurt me. But he has to do this and that he is very very sorry. And for me not to hate him and he still wants to be friends.

I AM SO CONFUSED.

I loved this man with everything in me.

I asked him why he didn't tell me this when I asked him what was wrong, if he wanted to break up, etc and he said because he didn't want to do this and he wanted to think of some other way.

I guess he couldn't.

I didn't know what to think, but I was very calm. (Although I wanted to go CRAZY) but I told him that I understood. And to not be sorry. I still support him through everything. He texted me that night with just a "Good night" The next day he texted me and we had small talk. I brought up if he wanted the stuff he gave me back and he said no why would I want it back I bought it for you. I told him I was more talking about the half heart necklace since it goes together with his. (It's just a broken heart he has one side I have the other) and he said "no that's for you" and that was basically it for that day. Saturday came and we didn't talk until he texted me that night asking how my day was, etc. I was really thrown off because he has just broke up with me and I was confused as to why he was still texting me. So I thought and thought that night. Into the next morning I confronted him and texted him and told him I didn't know what his intentions were. If he was just confused, scared, nervous, needed space, maybe we would get back together when he felt more secure about things or if he was really done with this relationship and wanted to be friends. I told him he just wanted to be friends that I would need some time and space to let it set in and adjust. (I was so in love with him, jumping from boyfriend and girlfriend to friends hurt too much for me.) It took him a while to reply and when he did he told me that he would give me all the time I needed to be friends. And he said I guess... Which really threw me off. I couldn't believe it that he actually wanted to be done. I had thought possibly that he was just scared of all the changes that were happening since he's going to the Navy that's why he's pushing me away. I guess it wasn't. We didn't text the rest of that day. Or monday. But today he all of a sudden texted me asking me how I am and such. I don't know what's going on. Not only am I confused because we were so in love! How could this have happened? But because he's texting me again. I really don't know. But I wanna be there for him since he is leaving for the navy. I wanna be a friend and of course I want to even more be his girlfriend again. But idk.

[burningashes]

Welcome to LS.

 

Firstly, please do not take my words as being critical of you. What do you know about the military and what people go through to make it? Bootcamps aren't a walk in the park, and your ex needs to be into it 110%. If he thinks he can't handle being in a relationship while going through bootcamp, I'd say he knows what he's in for and probably made the right call.

 

In war, soldiers don't have time to be thinking about their significant others, and that's what they're going to drill into his head during boot camp. You should go on your way, and if you feel ok, you can give a little support to him as a friend. Boot camp is going to be highly stressful, and they're going to work him real hard.

 

He obviously still likes you and wants to be friends. But take it with a grain of salt because he's going to be really busy and tired/stressed, so go do your own thing in the mean time and chat with him when he calls you (read that- when he calls you, not the other way around). Good luck.