AnneT1985 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 (edited) Hi y'all!! I have a question I am hopeful to get some insights on. I was going to post this in the friendship category but I realize this can pertain to all relationships. I apologize if I have asked this before as I may have mentioned it but since there have been further issues. This particular question pertains to a friend of mine but is a relationship question in general. I have a friend who can perform some lovely acts of physical kindness such as an offer to help, a kind gift, attendance at an event etc which I certainly appreciate. I also appreciate everyone has different personalities and some people are solution oriented people and others are not- but the thing is this friend feels comfortable coming to me with her news- good and bad, and wanting to get together regularly and that's great. On the other hand, if I have shared something I am going through or news with her (which is not very often) she tends to make what I interpret as very flippant, condescending, argumentative and dismissive remarks before listening to the whole story. So I placed a boundary by not sharing my problems with her. Her remarks however have continued on to even neutral facts I tell her. I understand the need for friends at times to play "devil's advocate", but she will say things that are simply critical, unhelpful and hurtful when the situation does not call for it and I'm not asking for advice. I have asked "what do you mean by that?" and the answer is "nothing bad" but the remarks continue and I don't understand why. I am wondering then if my next boundary should be simply physical acts of kindness on my part- sending cards, attending her big life events and leave it at that, as it does not seem healthy for me to communicate with her otherwise. Can anyone give me some insights into this or thoughts? Thanks so much y'all! xx Edited May 20, 2014 by AnneT1985
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