Augman Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Hi all, I'm having a few worries dating a girl with very little dating experience, and was curious how I should go about helping these things... I met this gal I was immediately attracted to a few weeks ago, she seemed interested so eventually I asked her out. Immediately after asking her out (but before us actually going out) she would text and call me many times a day, which is cool... I'll be honest, I like the attention lol. She is flirty and makes me feel very wanted that's for sure. The amount she contacts me daily gave me the vibe she hasn't dated much. Anyways, she throws some red flags on our first date/hangout (It was a VERY layed back date, as she had a busy week and wanted to relax) from what I can tell she has only really had one major boyfriend but she talked about him with me... isn't that a major "don't" while dating? Later that night I took her home and she was texting another guy casually as we were hanging out at her house (she mentioned it was just a friend) yet, I felt a little weird. Her uncle pointed out she was texting another guy and in a slightly jokingly way said something along the lines of "if you're with him, its straight up disrespectful to be texting another guy, am I right?" He looked at me and put me on the spot. I honestly felt he was right, so I agreed... She is lighthearted so she laughed it off and finished her text. She had no negative feelings from it though, after I returned home she called and talked to me until she fell asleep on the phone, but what happened was still kind of wandering around in my head, trying to process it. By no means was I angry with her, it was just odd to me that she wouldn't know those things herself... My actual question is should I address this with her since we both wish to continue dating? Should I wait to address it until date number "X"? Should I just let it play out and not say anything because it will make me sound like a jealous freak? (I am the jealous type, btw) It is an issue though, and I am just trying to figure out how to address it. is it simpler than I am making it out to be? Should I really just say "when you text other guys in front of me it makes me uncomfortable" or something along those lines? If another instance comes up where something she does makes me uncomfortable and is common dating knowledge, should I say something? Thanks everyone...
littleplanet Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 How do you know she is inexperienced? Has she given you all the pertinent facts? Otherwise - maybe that's a lot to assume........... On the other hand - her knowledge of 'dating etiquette' could be a little under-developed....... But it's all still new. Nobody's given their heart away, yet. So relax. Get to know her. Face to face. If things move along positively, eventually this behavior will either just fade (as it should) or you'll have real reason to address it. Call me old fashioned: texting anyone or fooling around otherwise with teckie toys while in the company of someone that one is supposedly interested in - is a big no-no. Not done in polite society. She may have been texting.....because she was nervous. Inexperienced daters can get that way. Like I said, take some time to get to know her, first. Don't automatically jump to conclusions, and assume you know what every little thing she does actually means. And finally - if she just really is that inexperienced.......forget about that, and about whatever level of experience you figure you're on. Just relax, and play it by ear. Don't let jealous fantasies get away on ya - give her the benefit of the doubt. (if) it ever gets serious........plenty time enough to lay down the ground rules.
tekkenfan2 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Talking about an ex on a first date is weird. If she is inexperienced like you said then it isn't as much as an issue but if she does it again just stop her politely. As far as texting if anything wait until she does it again on a date and say something like "I would like if you didn't text during our dates, I want our full attention to be on each other" just adjust it and make it flow But yeah she seems into you, just make sure you don't always make yourself available to her. Sometimes if she is just making small talk thru text or on the phone talk to her for a lil bit and then tell her you have to go. Keep taking her on dates and talk to her, get to know her and see how much you like her. (It is common to say something if your date's actions bother you)
jbelle6 Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I would have walked out at the texting to be honest. I have set aside time from my schedule to meet with you and get to know you. It doesn't have to be a long time for the first few meets. You will get my undivided attention, my phone would be off. I can return texts or calls when we are done. She was texting another guy? I find that very disrespectful.
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