Why he started the fire when he is not ready?

[dove1983]

I newly join a company three months ago and got to know this guy. He invited me to add him on skype and we started talking. Initially we are just talking on casual daily matters and during working hours. Then he is starting to bring in little gifts and sneak beneath my files on my desk and tried to find excuse coming into my department. He told me on skype that he feels like looking at me.

 

Our first date was he offered to meet me at airport to accompany me for some time before going into departure hall so I won't get bored.

 

Our second date was he offered to teach me roller blades when he got to know I wish to learn. Then after that this, we started to chat on skype every day during working hours and after work until sleep and even during weekends we chat almost whole day except when we go for meals or some errands to run. Even when he is on leave, he would call me to chat on skype where he will talk and I type while listening to him on an earpiece so as not to let others hear our conversation. We started to arrange meeting up together in pantry to wash our cups together and he will always share his half eaten biscuits with me.

 

We started calling each other endearments such as 'baby' or 'darling'. Our 3rd date was to have Mc Donalds together. We shared our burgers and fed each other fries. The following day, I cut mango at the pantry and when he walk past I fed him with one. I did fed him to eat my egg pudding when he came in to see me in the morning. On our 4th date, we went out together to purchase groceries and he stood so close to me that we were barely 1cm away from each other and asked me to kiss him few times while we were standing at the cashier queue, but we didn't ended up kissing.

 

I knew he broke off 4 months before he knew me and he said before he has set a line not to start any relationship so fast because he do not want to hurt his next partner as starting a relationship just months after broke up a guy will tend to hurt his next girlfriend which is like a revenge kinda of things. But from all his actions, I thought I can control not falling for him but I got melted in the end.

 

I gave him a pink paper origami heart which until now still in a small transparent container at his working desk and he gave me in return a heart made of black straws which he made on the spot at a cafe we had a drink during the time he sent me off to airport. He hold my hands at the cafe and said something like 'yes' and then we even had a tight hug before I went into the departure hall. Few days after this day when I flown back, I committed my feelings for him on phone and he said he feels that he is the one leading me.

 

He feels that he has to back off now so as not to lead me on further and i have time to think as he has to intention of starting a relationship yet. The hot and warm time lasted for almost a month, and after I committed my feelings to him he started to cool off and acted in a total opposite way which is already a month since the day I committed my feelings. All together since I first join this company until now is a total of three months. I committed my feelings by telling him on phone, sending him on watsapp songs with lyrics that has a hidden meaning and lastly I actually summarized our skype chats to him in hope that he will feel something in return.

 

This summary lasted from 12am till 6 am in the morning and from the watsapp record he was seen available until 3 am plus. He blocked me from his watsapp the next morning when I sent him another song. He is now going out of his way trying to avoid eye contact and me. When we did by any chance got any eye contact, he will look at me as though I have kill his entire family and I'm his greatest enemy.

 

Questions:

 

1) Why he started doing everything that a guy will do in order to get a girl to like him when he intended to end it immediately when the girl fall for him?

2) Does he has any feel for me at all from start until now?

3) Is it necessary to avoid me by going all out of his way when we are still working in the same company?

4) Why does he still keep the pink heart at his desk if he intended to stop and be cool as he is now?

5) Is all this just a game and if yes, is it fun to do so much and spend all the time just to create a game like this?

 

I just do not know what he is thinking and I'm really lost.

Edited June 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[meeji]

Guys will do this because it is exciting and fun but it doesn't always mean that they are serious about the other person. He probably meant what he said when he told you he felt like he was dating out of revenge.

 

Im not sure what you can do to turn the situation around but it is probably a good idea to just leave him alone. You need to get over the feelings and he needs to figure out what he wants.

 

I'm sorry this happened to you. I know it sucks.

[Gloria25]

Don't take it too hard....dating is to figure out if you're a "match" and that takes time....So, of course, guys (and gals too) are gonna do things with you (i.e. dating). And, after time, they may figure out that you're really not what they're looking for.

 

Also, be careful with starting up dating at the workplace. It can get messy when it doesn't work out. And, IMO, I wouldn't be using the company computers to chat with others cuz they can monitor that stuff. Shoot, technology is so invasive that even if you were using a personal cellphone, your company can tap into it.

 

Another thing, if a guy starts pulling away or reducing contact...please, please don't do MORE contact. I know, I'm a woman. We get antsy when we don't hear from a guy and the first thing we do is blow up his phone/computer/etc. and then all the guy starts thinking is we're psycho