abby_tx Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 There are two types of guys I don't date. One is the guy who doesn't know the difference between you're/your and the other is just a physical trait I find unattractive. . There was this guy on an online dating site who had been messaging me, but I never thought of him as a potential suitor because he wasn't my type at all. I didn't even think I wanted to meet him. Well, on a crazy whim I messaged him last night to see if he'd want to grab coffee. We ended up hitting it off and I was extremely attracted to him. It was one of the best first dates I've had in ages. Before him, I had been really picky with who I will talk to or meet on dating sites. I've consistently been disappointed on dates. It's weird how what I thought I wanted ended up not being what I really wanted. Not sure if that makes sense. Anyway, it was only one date and who knows if he likes me back, but I just wanted to share this story to help out people like old me reading this. ha 1
Just-A-Normal-Guy Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Just curious what is you're type/not your type. And what is he? haha I'm glad you hit it off though!
Author abby_tx Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 Most of the time when I am online I never use apostrophes and I always use your even in instances when you're should be used. If I am on my iPad it inserts apostrophes but I am all about brevity and saving keystrokes when I am typing. If somebody won't talk to me because of my grammar online, that's "you're" problem. Yes I know it's "your". I know it's shallow and doesn't speak for someone's intelligence. It's just one of those things that have always bugged me. However, now I think I can look past it. ha 1
Author abby_tx Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 Just curious what is you're type/not your type. And what is he? haha I'm glad you hit it off though! My type in the past was more witty, nerdy, intelligent. Guys that weren't very manly. But I'd try to date this person and there was nothing there ever or it didn't last. The guy I went out with last night is pretty manly and outdoorsy, was in the army, etc.
Grumpybutfun Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 (edited) If grammar deficiencies and a physical trait you dislike are deal breakers, maybe you need to rethink dating at all because as criteria, it seems rather shallow and illogical. Character traits such as honesty, integrity and honor would keep you from dating cheaters, liars, and abusers but if freckles or thinning hair is the dealbreaker along with lacking grammatical acumen, your dating life will be fraught with drama. Maybe you need to recalibrate your parameters. Maybe the universe was teaching a lesson with a different type of guy. Good luck, Grumps Edited May 20, 2014 by Grumpybutfun 4
Author abby_tx Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 If grammar deficiencies and a physical trait you dislike are deal breakers, maybe you need to rethink dating at all because as criteria, it seems rather shallow and illogical. Character traits such as honesty, integrity and honor would keep you from dating cheaters, liars, and abusers but if freckles or thinning hair is the dealbreaker along with lacking grammatical acumen, your dating life will be fraught with drama. Maybe you need to recalibrate your parameters. Good luck, Grumps Ha. You're being sassy, but this is exactly the truth and I will admit to that. I have failed miserably in my dating life and I never recognized that I was being ridiculously picky. I just thought I was being careful/smart by avoiding guys I didn't think would be a match. 1
FitChick Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 It's less a matter of being picky and more one of using your intuition. Intuition is usually spot on.
luvshaq Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Poor grammar usage is an annoyance, like the your/you're thing, or when people type without using punctuation, but it's not a deal breaker for me. Bad etiquette in general is a deal breaker. If they're a chain smoker, if they keep a messy house, if they're [careless] dog owners, if they're extremely cheap or they can't mange their money, if they're on welfare when they're capable of working, etc...A combination of these things is enough to make me reconsider being with that person. I'm not looking for the perfect person, just someone who's clean and responsible.
nescafe1982 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I met the man I'm marrying on OLD. And he was in a great many ways "not my type." He's geeky and techie; I'm artsy and social. He's even-keeled and steady; I'm neurotic and a bit of a loud-mouth. He's upper middle class; I'm from a blue collar background but work in the ivory tower. If I saw him in a cafe, I wouldn't have looked twice. And halfway through our first date, I was pretty sure there wouldn't be a second. But on the second date, I fell for him. I know this is cliche, but the guys I was always instantly hot for were always bad for me, too. Almost like the attraction was fueled by the potential for drama or something. I think dating outside of your comfort zone can be really amazing and healthy. It can also be awkward, occasionally hilarious, or boring. But a slow-burn romance is better than a flash in the pan, in the end. 1
nescafe1982 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Sorry to double post... but when I was on OLD, I would occasionally misspell a word to gauge the guy's reaction. I have a PhD, and I'm an educator for a living. So I'm not a moron. But you'd be surprised how much a man will show his true colors when you type in the word "spose" in casual conversation. Was it a weird way to screen out nitpickers? Perhaps. But I think there is some value in knowing how a man treats a total stranger who fumbles up in front of him. And it was a surprisingly effective way to screen out difficult men. 1
Els Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 One is the guy who doesn't know the difference between you're/your Wait what??? You're being sarcastic with the thread title, I hope? 15
Fondue Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Wait what??? You're being sarcastic with the thread title, I hope? Oh man, I hope . I couldn't believe the irony of it once I read her title and post. 3
Chocolat Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 There are two types of guys I don't date. One is the guy who doesn't know the difference between you're/your This is pretty funny considering you misused "you're" in your thread title! 1
Chocolat Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Wait what??? You're being sarcastic with the thread title, I hope? I need to skim through threads and make sure you haven't posted before I do. Seems you generally post what I'm thinking. 1
regine_phalange Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 You can't know how attracted you will be to someone until you meet and interact with them in person. It's really lovely that you gave him a chance, and the outcome was very good. Good men always deserve a chance. When are you meeting again?
Leigh 87 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 My ex couldn't spell. He also earns 1400 a week, is tall, has straight teeth and is now with a model. Nearly 10 years younger than he is. His girlfriend prior to me had a masters degree and spoke 4 languages. And she was very pretty. I also thought he wouldn't be my cup of tea initially. I was shallow. I am anal about grammar too. I ended up falling in love; in the end, he was the one who wasn't into ME.
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Confession I sometimes mistype you're/your when typing posts and make other mistakes but instead of correct it, just intentionally leave it...hoping it ruins someones day. I've done a lot of "writing" online, and I play with the English language like it is a farce, because if there is one kind of person I felt like rammin' my foot up dat dere arse, it was the infamous "grammar nazi"....oh and everyone is freak'n expert too, I'll tell ya that much! and they ALWAYS make their own mistakes when typing out their little rant too, never freak'n fails! AND I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE READING THIS YOU GRAMMAR NAZI! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON YOUR MORNING CEREAL.....ALPHABET CEREAL! THE IRON-Y OF AN ALPHABET CEREAL DEATH...maybe the little letters that falleth unto the floor as you twitch and foam at the mouth like a camel in heat, onto the kitchen floor knocking over dog's water bowl; cause I know you got a dog too! some dumb animal to make you feel "intelligent", that's right down your alley as your ridicule the world and their inferior grammatical linguistics skills!...I HOPE those letters will spell out "HA HA". For some reason, even though I consider my grammatical style terrible I've been pitch-forked for it rarely, so thank you for that...*whispers* it's how I know you really love me *twinkle eye from a small undeveloped tear* HOWEVER! I do know what you mean, there are some stupid sh** that people say, especially with texting. I wouldn't recommend doing that online when looking for love, I do think your messages should look at least somewhat cultured and well meaning...and "Hey gurl, wan 2 go out wit me" makes you look pretty damn stupid in my book. I just wouldn't judge too harshly, I've always been more interested in what people have to say then how they say, I've always looked for substance over over-education and self-entitlement/flattery, because let's face...a lot of people who are supposed to be smart are pretty damn stupid outside their profession or acquired skill. And spelling or even speaking right doesn't make you interesting or not entirely boring and bland. So three CHAIRS FOR MISPELS! HIP HIP HOOARAY HIP HOP HOORAY, HOOP HOOP HAR HAR HAR! They do have their place, and especially when English is not someone's first language...I have no sympathy for those who ridicule them, at least they are trying and speaking a language outside of their own which many of my fellow Americans could never do well. I meet a lot of people from different cultures, I find it very interesting to learn about someone else's background, so I could never imagine myself critiquing and being concerned with how people speak or even spell, It would totally negate what I was trying to learn through that person so for the most part I look at language as merely a form of communication rather than the end all be all or a solid representation of intellect....that would be unreliable at best, although I understand how someone who speaks "ghetto" or like an idiot on purpose with people they don't know because that's how they choose to communicate, I think that might have a place with friends but I definitely enjoy people with class and don't speak like thugs, so I'm not all positive about this. But if they are honestly trying and expressing themselves, that is more important to me...and I've come across things people have put online who just slammed for their spelling even though the content was there, I don't agree with that. Oh and more directly to the OP...I think you just gave someone a chance and got lucky, that can happen when expectations are low and you are just putting yourself out there, that's a good attitude to have often times in it's appropriate context. 1
soccerrprp Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 There are two types of guys I don't date. One is the guy who doesn't know the difference between you're/your and the other is just a physical trait I find unattractive. . There was this guy on an online dating site who had been messaging me, but I never thought of him as a potential suitor because he wasn't my type at all. I didn't even think I wanted to meet him. Well, on a crazy whim I messaged him last night to see if he'd want to grab coffee. We ended up hitting it off and I was extremely attracted to him. It was one of the best first dates I've had in ages. Before him, I had been really picky with who I will talk to or meet on dating sites. I've consistently been disappointed on dates. It's weird how what I thought I wanted ended up not being what I really wanted. Not sure if that makes sense. Anyway, it was only one date and who knows if he likes me back, but I just wanted to share this story to help out people like old me reading this. ha Curious. "he wasn't my type at all" is significant, yet you felt that you should contact him. WHY??? I wonder if this guy was worth contacting b/c he was very physically attractive...hmmmm.....
Babolat Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 If somebody won't talk to me because of my grammar online, that's "you're" problem. If they used bad grammar in their profile it stuggests to me they wrote it real quick, may be looking for just one thing and didn't care to take the time to review their profile before submitting. Not the best qualities for me, but not a deal breaker.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I have a weird sentence construction and bad grammar (sometimes). I tell you all: go and learn Serbian and get back to me!
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I have a weird sentence construction and bad grammar (sometimes). I tell you all: go and learn Serbian and get back to me! *sigh* I'll never figure out where you're from... but be warned, I haven't given up yet!
soccerrprp Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I know some really bright, intelligent people who are crappy spellers. That doesn't bother me so much. But, the OP's post, is it really about taking a chance? I mean, it sounds to me that she went after this guy b/c he was good looking and ignored her past requirements based solely on that. If the guy was average or not attractive enough, I suspect this motivational thread would not have been started.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 *sigh* I'll never figure out where you're from... but be warned, I haven't given up yet! ......
Standard-Fare Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 My type in the past was more witty, nerdy, intelligent. Guys that weren't very manly. But I'd try to date this person and there was nothing there ever or it didn't last. The guy I went out with last night is pretty manly and outdoorsy, was in the army, etc. I went through that exact same type of switch in my own tastes. In my early-mid 20s, I was always going for the nerdy artsy guys. Those types overlap more with my own personality and interests. But then I had one dating experience where I went against type, dated sort of a blue-collar jock guy who made fun of my "indie" tastes, etc. We had a fun, flirty type of sparring relationship, and our chemistry/sex was unbelievable. That opened my eyes to just how interesting and important CONTRAST can be. I no longer have much interest in the artsy nerds. While I can talk to those guys for hours and share tastes, etc., I find that I feel almost androgynous around them and there's no genuine chemistry. A more rugged guy just makes me feel like more of a woman. A few of my friends have gone through similar transitions as they get older, so there could be a hormonal aspect to it... like, biology kicking in to attract you to the more "alpha" guy.
CarsAreForNoobs Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Having an arbitrary lists of desired traits can really hurt you in the dating world. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have standards, but sometimes it's ok to bend on the little ones. I've been involved heavily with bodybuilding for some time. My brother competes actively and we always train together. I was deadset on the idea that I would need someone who understood and was involved in the lifestyle. I figured I needed an athlete to be happy. My girlfriend that I'm planning on proposing to is as far from that lifestyle as it gets. She has stupidly picky eating habits and tends to lean towards foods I consider "kid" foods. She's not outdoorsy like I grew up, and is such a girly girl that she'll put honest effort into getting her makeup done to come over and watch netflix. Years ago if I saw that on paper I would scoff at the idea of a serious relationship. But I pursued a relationship anyway because we have chemistry I've never had with anyone. I find I actually love her attention to looking good because my sport also comes with a degree of vanity. And despite our differences she is the most supportive woman I've ever been with. The point is that sometimes people can surprise you. Sometimes it's the differences that can make a couple mesh well together. It's ok to have a few dealbreakers but it's ok to look past the small stuff and give someone a chance.
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