TurtleKitten Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) Hey guys! Particularly new to the forums but I have been scoping around. Abit of background.. I met this girl a year ago in one of my classes, pretty, smart and really down to earth. I had interest in her but I realized how she was already taken so I didn't really bother to do much then. I see her again this year, and things began to really kick off. We went on our first date, and had our first kiss together, and the rest really made it felt like we we're going strong. She did come over to my place multiple times and we would "watch movies (wink wink)". Having sex multiple times with her, I thought I'd have her for sure. She is the same age (20) as me by the way. I was seeing this girl for about two months before things began to suck HOWEVER Her ex was still in the story (They dated for 2-ish years). From our first date, I remember her telling me he moved away approximately 6 months ago, and that things happened which made them separate. Later on, she would've told me multiple times she still thinks about her ex once in a while, and at one point she said I do not want to continue this "friends with benefits" anymore despite my strong feelings for you. She said it is certainly unfair for you since I am not ready to be in a relationship, and I will never know when I will be. Despite her saying this, we met up again and everything seemed to be so normal! Everything began to go so smoothly, as she also told me she doesn't want to go back with her ex. What drives me nuts is that she told me this multiple times too, but in all I had a slight feeling she would still go running back to him. And it infact happen when the ex would fly back unexpectedly and be at the doorsteps of the girl I was seeing ( I was out with her at this time ). The girl I was seeing told her ex multiple times she was already seeing me. I took her home, and I told her "Do you what you have to do, even if it's gonna hurt me" and kissed her and said goodbye. She said I won't get back with him.. I like you too much! THEN... She began to become shady, and I would understand because she is probably confused once again and unsure of what to do. She would call me at around 3AM-4AM the next day (morning?) and say I'm sorry, stating that she really liked me, but still loved him. I asked how is it even going to workout with him, he doesn't even reside around here. She responds by saying how he'd frequently visit throughout the year. I am left speechless, but I respond saying what are you going to do if he ****s up again? You guys broke up for a reason. She replies saying I believe in giving in second chances, if he screws up again then its final. I told her "Good luck, I wish you two the best, you have my number and if anythings wrong just call me I guess, I just pray he doesn't hurt you again". She said its up to me if we want to remain friends or not, I reply saying I don't see how we can still be friends after coming this far. I asked so you two are officially back togetehr again huh? She says what makes us official? Facebook status? I don't know. SO I assume they are still trying to work things out in this soon to be long distance relationship? Aswell, I've told her several times I can't wait for her forever, because it is unfair but I probably gave off the vibe that I will wait for her. I do want her back, she's a really sweet girl and I can understand how I was abit stupid to try to pursue a girl who wasn't completely over her ex. I believed that with time I could help her forget about it. She states that I wasn't the rebound, and that she really did infact like me, to the point where she was "falling in love" . I kind of do believe I wasn't the rebound tho, and that she actually did have strong feelings for me. Her ex was persistent though, im unsure how she could even put up with it to be honest. She said he's a very good talker. I do not know what to do now, I've initiated NC after last nights phone call, haven't text her or done much, deleted photos, and text msgs. Truth is, im hurting right now because I can't stand to see something so strong just fall like this. I haven't really committed to a girl like this. As I said before, I do want her back, I don't know what to do about this. I've thought about asking to see her this week again, and hopefully I can pull off something as I did the first time this type of situation happened. Should I continue NC? Perhaps text her for a better understanding of the situation? (I was having a hard time listening to her as well as she was whispering). Sorry for the extra long post Edited May 19, 2014 by TurtleKitten
organizedchaos Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 I think you need to move on. She is clearly not over her ex. They're going to give it another go. And even if she breaks it off again next week, and agrees to see you, she needs TIME ALONE to get over him. You will still be a rebound. Sucks, I know. But the timing is off for you two.
Author TurtleKitten Posted May 19, 2014 Author Posted May 19, 2014 There's no more hope? We're actually finished this time? So I should just continue No-Contact rule I guess.. ?
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