SerCay Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 After being in NC for 2 months, my ex texts me. He misses me and how he doesn't want to act as if he doesn't know me after spending so many years together. I told him no, I don't want to be in contact, deal with it. You should've thought of this earlier, when you acted the way you did. After 3 years I was more than fed up with our situation: - He doesn't look for a job - He doesn't go to school or has plans to go to school - He doesn't want to move out of his parent's home - He doesn't want to live together (even though I live like 10 min away from his parents) - He is very secretive over a lot of stuff, including his (female) friends, I have never met them in 3 years - On that topic, he doesn't want to socialize with my friends either, so mutual isolation - When with his family, he can't just sit with us, has to go upstairs and play video games or go in and watch football and stuff like that - He spends all his money on his dad, who spends it on his lazy, coke addict brother who lives like a leech off of his brothers back through his father - His dad shamelessly takes his money and spends it on whatever he likes, including his savings - My ex complains about this constantly to me, yet never does anything about it - On the other hand he is very reserved towards me with his money, because ''I'm not family'' - He wants to marry me ONE DAY, when we've worked out all our issues - He has a wandering eye and likes the attention and the communication with, different females - He doesn't want to get help for his commitment phobia, says it's something that all guys have, guys who are committed are ''pussies and unhappy'' in his eyes - He doesn't take my schedule of work and school into consideration, cooking takes us hours and hours because he has his special ways - He has bailed on me and/or caused a fight on ALL my special ocassions when we were together, from surgery, to introduction to new uni, to auditions etc, I went to all those things while being in a fight with him - He doesnt want to undertake social activities because he's always tired or something else - BUT he gets angry when I go out and do stuff with my own friends - He gets angry with me, when I get angry with him for wanting to go out with his friends, while he's ALWAYS too tired to do something with me - Distrusts all my male friends, has easy access to my phone, knows everyone in my surrounding, and practises complete secracy on his own side, so one sided like hell - ALWAYS causes fights over so many stupid things, gets angry at the slightest thing, always makes me feel like I should walk on eggshells - Accuses me of being an alpha female, he says I'm too mascline in my arguments with him and in my discussions - We can't have sex because he's porn addicted and masturbates like 4 times a day - How we broke up? He dumped me for a 100th time during a fight saying ''we should end this'' while I'm in the midst of struggling with the illness of someone very very dear to me. The good things about him? - We would be the best friends if not in a relationship, we have the most fun together, like we've never has with anyone before, our fun chemistry is immense -We have hobbies incommon and we love to cook, take hikes and watch movies together - He fully supports anything that I do in my career and is proud of me But I'm sorry...I don't want to live like this. I deserve much better. I feel manipulated, isolated, belittled, it's as if he's a narcissist. So yeah oh how he misses me. He now accuses me of being arrogant and acting on pride. And how he finds it so weird that I haven't contacted him in the past 2 months to ask him how his therapy is going.... He says I'm not that different than he is and that I should pretending to be such a good person :S. I told him I find him selfish and evil and I don't want to be in cntact with someone who acts those traits out on me. So he says I'm not that different than he is. Got me all upset again, and I was doing sooo fine the last 2 months, what does he want, seriously? What's his problem? When we're together he can't behave normal but when we break up he finds it weird that I don't want to contact him. I sometimes think I should tell him how I feel about him (the above list), and that the fact that he is my first and biggest love doesn't mean that I'm going to accept him treating me like this, but I don't feel like starting a discussion with him. I just wish he would vanish out of my life. ugh
jt27 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Wow. This does not sound like a healthy relationship at all. I just wish he would vanish out of my life. Cut off all contact with this person. 1
awesome0 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 And I thought my relationships were messed up. I'm not poking fun this is just unhealthy in every sense of the word. Get out and never look back 1
Author SerCay Posted May 19, 2014 Author Posted May 19, 2014 Yes yes..I'm out already, have been for 2 months, I'm just upset that he STILL finds it arrogant, weird and proud of me to act determined in NC... Let alone apologizing for anything he did, He still doesn't recognize WHY I don't want to be with him anymore
DannyCA Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 I'm in the same boat (kind of). I have been broken up with my ex for more than a year and have been about half a year NC. But she has this habit where she tries to contact me every 4 to 5 months. Everytime she contacted me before I would foolishly reply to her breadcrumbs, but this time was different. She tried to add me back on FB about a week ago but I denied her. Then she sent me a paragraph of a text message the other day. I deleted it right away. The only problem is she had the nerve to text me the night before my birthday. All I saw out of the corner of my eye was "lets be friends" in that paragraph she texted me before I could delete it. Now I have been irritated and angry the last few days. I can finally say the last 6 months I have been just getting better and better each day. It felt really damn good. Now even though I didn't reply, it has set me back a couple steps and I am just soo pissed off She has gotten under my skin once again but I refuse to let her know that
No Limit Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Sounds like you were in a relationship with a toddler.
Author SerCay Posted May 19, 2014 Author Posted May 19, 2014 Now I have been irritated and angry the last few days. I can finally say the last 6 months I have been just getting better and better each day. It felt really damn good. Now even though I didn't reply, it has set me back a couple steps and I am just soo pissed off She has gotten under my skin once again but I refuse to let her know that yes...exactly this... @no limit, yes it felt like that in the end:mad: But most of my anger is towards myself though...how I have been so hung up on a person doing me so wrong...just because he did nice things as well.
DannyCA Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 But most of my anger is towards myself though...how I have been so hung up on a person doing me so wrong...just because he did nice things as well. Yup now that I think about it I am pissed at myself for still being hung up on a person who has been doing me wrong for the past year plus just because I can still remember all the good times. Just because for some reason the idea that "this isn't her" and "she has to come around" still floats around in the back of my mind. But also the fact that I am trying my damned hardest to keep moving forward but she refuses to let me go even though she broke up with me pisses me off. Oh well we can't beat ourselves up over this. That won't solve anything. 1
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