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Progress Report

Bishop556

By Bishop556
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Bishop556 Established Member

Bishop556

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So, after nearly six months I will document on my progress of getting over my ex and how I am currently. Well, two weeks ago I apologized to my ex, against everyone's advice, I know, and it went well. While my ex did not apologize for her end of the bargain, emotional cheating, the lying for six months while my ex grew feelings for this guy while constantly telling me nothing was going on between them and them climaxing (pun intended) into finally having a sexual relationship three days after leaving me, I did not expect her too. In fact, it helped me move on and it helped her as she was thankful for hearing an apology by me due to our fight, and me raising a fist at her during my traumatic panic attack. My ex even asked if we could try to be friends, but I politely declined explaining that I do not want to interfere with her current relationship as I feel her boyfriend would find it strange and possibly be suspicious why his girlfriend is spending time with her ex. I really do hope their relationship last as she deserves happiness like everyone else. I did not mention this to her. I also realized through this interaction that my ex has not changed. Maybe my perception is wrong, but my ex still played the blame game and took no blame for her actions. In fact, she thought it was low of me to believe that she had feelings for the guy she developed feelings for during our relationship even though I specifically read in her blogs about her feelings for him. My ex seemed as if she has not changed, possibly because she immediately jumped into someone else's arm, but it was just a feeling I felt. Of course, I might be wrong but my gut feeling is telling me otherwise. Through this interaction it helped me realize that it truly was time to let go of the past.

 

My ex's mother contacted a week ago as well. Probably, my ex told her my apology. My ex's mother wanted to maintain contact with me and told me that she missed me and has been thinking about me for a while. She was happy when I told her that I was doing well, getting straight A's in college, having a research position, and in general having a great semester. I truly respect and appreciate my ex's mother for everything she has done, and while it is not my place to have a full friendship with her as I am not dating her daughter anymore, it was nice to catch up with my ex's mother six months after the break up.

 

I do still get upset about what happened, but it is no longer with the same fervor that I felt a month or two after the break up. My life has been improving greatly. I have devoted myself to maintaining a healthy lifestyle: being a vegetarian, working out regularly, and, in general, maintaining a healthy outlook towards life. I actually feel like I could date someone and maintain a healthy relationship now. I understand my self worth much more than before, I understand who I am, what I want, and the lessons I learned through my troubles. I know the type of partner I want in the future as I realized my relationship with my ex was very unhealthy, due to both of us. I also learned that I will never let myself fall into the pit of depression I went into again. I suffered through a seriously traumatic point in my life, and during my moment of weakness, I raised a fist at my ex when she was screaming at me during a severe panic attack. It took a while for me to accept I am not abusive, like my ex spouted, but someone who had a weak moment, who is imperfect, who makes mistakes. Reflecting on this, I truly do not believe my ex is evil or devious, just like me she made mistakes and is imperfect, and while, I cannot forget what she did to me, nor do I want to be back in a relationship with her, I do forgive her for what she did to me. The world is not black and white, people are shades of gray. Many commit heinous acts towards each other does not indicate their worth as a person. People are imperfect beings. It is what a person does after the fact that defines their character. With all this said, I feel like I am finally entering a new, healthier chapter in my life pursuing my passions for music, physics, and philosophy.

Edited by Bishop556
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Erlaad Member

Erlaad

Posted
Posted
So, after nearly six months I will document on my progress of getting over my ex and how I am currently. Well, two weeks ago I apologized to my ex, against everyone's advice, I know, and it went well. While my ex did not apologize for her end of the bargain, emotional cheating, the lying for six months while my ex grew feelings for this guy while constantly telling me nothing was going on between them and them climaxing (pun intended) into finally having a sexual relationship three days after leaving me, I did not expect her too. In fact, it helped me move on and it helped her as she was thankful for hearing an apology by me due to our fight, and me raising a fist at her during my traumatic panic attack. My ex even asked if we could try to be friends, but I politely declined explaining that I do not want to interfere with her current relationship as I feel her boyfriend would find it strange and possibly be suspicious why his girlfriend is spending time with her ex. I really do hope their relationship last as she deserves happiness like everyone else. I did not mention this to her. I also realized through this interaction that my ex has not changed. Maybe my perception is wrong, but my ex still played the blame game and took no blame for her actions. In fact, she thought it was low of me to believe that she had feelings for the guy she developed feelings for during our relationship even though I specifically read in her blogs about her feelings for him. My ex seemed as if she has not changed, possibly because she immediately jumped into someone else's arm, but it was just a feeling I felt. Of course, I might be wrong but my gut feeling is telling me otherwise. Through this interaction it helped me realize that it truly was time to let go of the past.

 

My ex's mother contacted a week ago as well. Probably, my ex told her my apology. My ex's mother wanted to maintain contact with me and told me that she missed me and has been thinking about me for a while. She was happy when I told her that I was doing well, getting straight A's in college, having a research position, and in general having a great semester. I truly respect and appreciate my ex's mother for everything she has done, and while it is not my place to have a full friendship with her as I am not dating her daughter anymore, it was nice to catch up with my ex's mother six months after the break up.

 

I do still get upset about what happened, but it is no longer with the same fervor that I felt a month or two after the break up. My life has been improving greatly. I have devoted myself to maintaining a healthy lifestyle: being a vegetarian, working out regularly, and, in general, maintaining a healthy outlook towards life. I actually feel like I could date someone and maintain a healthy relationship now. I understand my self worth much more than before, I understand who I am, what I want, and the lessons I learned through my troubles. I know the type of partner I want in the future as I realized my relationship with my ex was very unhealthy, due to both of us. I also learned that I will never let myself fall into the pit of depression I went into again. I suffered through a seriously traumatic point in my life, and during my moment of weakness, I raised a fist at my ex when she was screaming at me during a severe panic attack. It took a while for me to accept I am not abusive, like my ex spouted, but someone who had a weak moment, who is imperfect, who makes mistakes. Reflecting on this, I truly do not believe my ex is evil or devious, just like me she made mistakes and is imperfect, and while, I cannot forget what she did to me, nor do I want to be back in a relationship with her, I do forgive her for what she did to me. The world is not black and white, people are shades of gray. Many commit heinous acts towards each other does not indicate their worth as a person. People are imperfect beings. It is what a person does after the fact that defines their character. With all this said, I feel like I am finally entering a new, healthier chapter in my life pursuing my passions for music, physics, and philosophy.

 

Maybe it's because I read exactly what I'm doing / I've done / wanted to do / plan to do, but this is a truly inspiring post.

 

I'm proud of you buddy, you deserve to be where you are and even higher. Keep up the good fight. :)

 

- Erl

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