Moe96 Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Okay so me and my ex have been broken up for 7 months, she got a new boyfriend within 3 months of breaking up. Now I always thought the new guy was a scumbag, never met him or knew him but it was a gut feeling. Reason why was because he is going off to college in a few months and he does not seem interested in her in the slightest. I know they have issues but once again not my business to intervene I didn't say or do anything because it wasn't my place to say anything I let them be and continued on with moving on with my life. I'm not completely over her, I texted her 2 weeks ago asking to be friends. She said no and I said okay no problem. It's because I haven't apologized to her about a situation a few months back. I will apologize soon though. The rejection didn't bother me at all. A few days I found out her new boyfriend was truly a scum, I was right from the beginning. It just didn't sit right at all. During spring break he and another family friend (female) went to Florida together and over there they almost hooked up. The new dude was all for it and the female friend was too but stopped last minute because she said you're dating my friend and I cant do that to her. The new dude is in love with this female friend but she's not. He started dating my ex so she would get jealous and that didn't work either. Female friend and him stopped texting and until recently he told her he's finally over her. I don't believe that at all. She doesn't either. The female friend (we're good friends) told me all this(no clue why). I also found out he used her so he wouldn't leave highschool as a virgin and he's gonna break up with her within the first few weeks of summer vacation. I don't know what I should do, I told the female friend you really should tell my ex everything you told me but she said she won't and it's his problem and whats done is done and over with. I don't want my ex's feelings to get destroyed once again and probably get more destroyed this time around. He may have not physically cheated but it's practically emotionally cheating on her. Obviously you can see in this point I care for her alot. Like alot. This isn't my way of getting back with her. I just don't want to see her get f*cked over so badly. Do you think I should take matters in my own hands and tell her all the scumbag crap he's pulling. Or let it be and just watch it... crash and burn?
Simon Phoenix Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Okay so me and my ex have been broken up for 7 months, she got a new boyfriend within 3 months of breaking up. Now I always thought the new guy was a scumbag, never met him or knew him but it was a gut feeling. Reason why was because he is going off to college in a few months and he does not seem interested in her in the slightest. I know they have issues but once again not my business to intervene I didn't say or do anything because it wasn't my place to say anything I let them be and continued on with moving on with my life. I'm not completely over her, I texted her 2 weeks ago asking to be friends. She said no and I said okay no problem. It's because I haven't apologized to her about a situation a few months back. I will apologize soon though. The rejection didn't bother me at all. A few days I found out her new boyfriend was truly a scum, I was right from the beginning. It just didn't sit right at all. During spring break he and another family friend (female) went to Florida together and over there they almost hooked up. The new dude was all for it and the female friend was too but stopped last minute because she said you're dating my friend and I cant do that to her. The new dude is in love with this female friend but she's not. He started dating my ex so she would get jealous and that didn't work either. Female friend and him stopped texting and until recently he told her he's finally over her. I don't believe that at all. She doesn't either. The female friend (we're good friends) told me all this(no clue why). I also found out he used her so he wouldn't leave highschool as a virgin and he's gonna break up with her within the first few weeks of summer vacation. I don't know what I should do, I told the female friend you really should tell my ex everything you told me but she said she won't and it's his problem and whats done is done and over with. I don't want my ex's feelings to get destroyed once again and probably get more destroyed this time around. He may have not physically cheated but it's practically emotionally cheating on her. Obviously you can see in this point I care for her alot. Like alot. This isn't my way of getting back with her. I just don't want to see her get f*cked over so badly. Do you think I should take matters in my own hands and tell her all the scumbag crap he's pulling. Or let it be and just watch it... crash and burn? It's none of your business and yes, you do want to get back with her. That's why you come up with a new scenario every month to try to force contact. You aren't fooling us. But I will address this particular scenario you have concocted. You telling her would be a disaster. You have this fantasy in your head that she'll believe you instantly, thank you profusely, see what a "great guy" you are and come running back in your arms. Ain't happening bro. Instead, what will happen is that she won't believe you and will think that you are lying to try to break them up. She'll think this because she knows how hung up on her you still are. Hell, she had to tell you two weeks ago that she didn't want to be friends with you because (in her mind) you begged her to be friends. She knows you are hung up on her and she'll think this is a plot and she'll resent you for trying to break up her new relationship. She'll get mad at you for sticking your nose where it doesn't belong and she would seriously doubt your motives. She'd think you were being sketchy and manipulative and trying to break up her happiness. There is no upside to you telling her this. You need to accept that you are her don't have a relationship. You're not lovers and you're not friends and she doesn't care about being either. You keep inventing crap in your head to keep this link alive ("but it's so awkward at track practice", "her boyfriend is a bad guy") and all it does is make you look like a chump in her eyes. And you kind of are a chump, no offense. But yeah, it's her life, it's up to her to discover this on her own or one of her friends (which you aren't one of) to have this conversation with her. But not your female friend he was trying to hook up with -- you've already tried to use her to meddle already. Just let her live her life man, and you need to start living yours. If you mind your business and she discovers without your interference, you might start to look better to her instead of this toxic presence that she doesn't want to be friendly with. But even if she discovers that you are right after you tell her, she'll blame you and resent you. This was longer than expected, but it's time for you to stop following her relationship and begging for her friendship and just making yourself out to be a toad. 2
Keenly Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Move on dude. You are spending way too much time and energy concerning yourself in issues of the past. 2
Author Moe96 Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 (edited) It is honestly hard to move on. I have felt better. And I have been acting like a girl in this situation. Guess ill let it be. I have been moving on. And if it matters I have proof that it did happen but that doesnt matter. The last post I made was supposed to be final but then this came up...highschool drama lol. But no ill listen this time. Once and for all. Thank you. Ill let her find out on her own if that happens. I just dont want to see her get hurt. Thank you for the post Simon it was a nice reality check. Edited May 18, 2014 by Moe96
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