RedRobin Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 How do i say that casual dating is what i want....not FWB?! Does that make sense..is there a difference really? I just dont want to be introduced as just a friend (like his other female friends) and then were sleeping together. To me thats disrespectful. No, there is no difference. If you are casual and having sex, then you are a FWB and he's allowed to see other people as are you. If you aren't ready for a relationship... and you don't like casual sex (or FWB)... then don't have sex with someone until you ARE ready for a relationship and you are sure he is ready for one with you. it's not that complicated.
Author Jezabel_80 Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 No, there is no difference. If you are casual and having sex, then you are a FWB and he's allowed to see other people as are you. If you aren't ready for a relationship... and you don't like casual sex (or FWB)... then don't have sex with someone until you ARE ready for a relationship and you are sure he is ready for one with you. it's not that complicated. Ok so basically Im back to square one...just stay his friend. Try not to kiss him (when thats all i can think about when were together) and sit back and listen while he tells me about his hot dates.. Well thats going to suck!
salparadise Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 How do i say that casual dating is what i want....not FWB?! Does that make sense..is there a difference really? I just dont want to be introduced as just a friend (like his other female friends) and then were sleeping together. To me thats disrespectful. Well, there's not much difference. Casually dating usually means non-exclusive, no commitment. Personally, I want exclusivity if we're sleeping together, even if it's to early to get serious. I can't do multi-dating - just not in my nature. So I'm not sure what casual dating means to you exactly. But regardless of the definition, you want to date as opposed to hanging out, and apparently you desire a physical relationship and a title other than "friend." Is exclusivity a requirement if you're sleeping together? Perhaps it is time to talk about it. Previously I suggested that you first change the hanging-out to dating, and then consider sex after that pattern is established. I still think that's a good idea.
RedRobin Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Ok so basically Im back to square one...just stay his friend. Try not to kiss him (when thats all i can think about when were together) and sit back and listen while he tells me about his hot dates.. Well thats going to suck! Well, no, you don't have to do that either. Noone says you need to be his friend or his eff-buddy/FWB. You don't want a relationship. He doesn't want a relationship. You don't want to be a FWB. There really is nothing left. Wouldn't you say? He obviously doesn't feel the same way about you, or else he wouldn't be going on these other dates. He'd want to date you. That's how it goes. The writing is on the wall. Stick a fork in it. Seriously.
Author Jezabel_80 Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 Well, no, you don't have to do that either. Noone says you need to be his friend or his eff-buddy/FWB. You don't want a relationship. He doesn't want a relationship. You don't want to be a FWB. There really is nothing left. Wouldn't you say? He obviously doesn't feel the same way about you, or else he wouldn't be going on these other dates. He'd want to date you. That's how it goes. The writing is on the wall. Stick a fork in it. Seriously. Well sorry but considering the way things were going with us over the last few weeks i would as construed that as dating although it was never said. Going out for drinks, hanging out all weekend, going for dinner, buying gifts for me...? Its just that neither of us made a move so therefore it was always unspoken! Nevermind whats done is done. I just wanted some advice on how to approach the situation. Its not always black and white...
carhill Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Whats going on?? He's single and dating people. Have i read into this wrong? IDK, you're both young and single and figuring life and relationships out. It's a process, generally an imperfect one. Would a guy really get that close to someone and not feel anything at all... Yes, it happens, at any age, and not necessarily because someone had existed a LTR/M or other long-term attachment. People are all wired differently. Is he making me jealous or really just not interested?? He's enjoying life, as I trust you are. Yours and his interactions are a part of that, of which the outcome is unknown. It's OK. IMO, if you've had a period of detachment, and enjoy the flirting and interaction, explore that and see if it results in a more formal dating arrangement, presuming that's what you want. Leave casual sex off to the side and save it to grow out of the 'new' now. The past is the past. If he's only interested in body fluids, it'll be obvious, and quickly. If not already doing so, date other men. Things work themselves out. Good luck!
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