yippiedude Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 (edited) Well my girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now, and we've never actually spent time together as a couple as just her and I. Her parents are very overprotective. They think that we should only be together when we are supervised, and believe it or not, I am 18 and she is 17. I'm not allowed in her room, and she's not allowed at my house. They are just so afraid of us having sex. We can't even watch a movie in the living room without her parents coming in and being rude and talking throughout the entire movie. Our plan is to talk to them today, about how we feel about them acting like this and treating us like children. I have a great relationship with the whole family, mom, dad, and sisters. But Can someone please help us on how to approach them with this? Her parents have told me before that they know what happens when teenagers get alone with each other and that's why they hardly let us go out on dates or do anything. I've been with her over a year! They also told me that they know she's growing up and that they should allow her daughter to go out and do things with me but they also said that they feel like they shouldn't give her the permission now.. She is 17.. But any suggestions to bring this subject up to them? And if they do question us about sex, what should we say? We both love each other like crazy but we can honestly never do anything with each other. Edited May 18, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
HappyLove Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 It's their house their rules. You could be setting yourself up to not be allowed back over. Maybe they'd back off a little but their house their rules, you have to respect that! 1
deathandtaxes Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Don't. If you don't like the restrictions, don't see this girl. I am guessing you're both in high school? Guess what? You're children. You can't raise this subject up with the parents from any position other than being a kid. They have all the power. It's their house. She's not even 18, which is a double whammy I this situation. You either like seeing her enough to accept it. Or move on. 1
DArtagnan2 Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 (edited) Yeh, they are her parents and its their house, so their rules. But I do get what you are saying as well. Not only you, but both of you are being judged based on what her parents perceptions are of kids your age. They are not trusting either of you or treating you as you both know you are; responsible young adults. Some of it can also have to do with the tradition of their heritage or family as well. Like if they are Italian, Greek, or of the like. Their regulations may be stricter. I will say, while I get it, I am glad there are parents that are involved in their childs life to teach the right from wrong, even regardless of the control factor involved. Anyway, I can see where you and she want to take this. You want to be able to have your freedom of outside the house dates and being able to just chill and watch a movie. How you say it can be effective though. I think, if you and she are insistent on having this discussion, you have to know what to say and how to say it. Points to stress could include your views on sex, about them allowing that trust in you / her, how responsible you both are and have been, and so on. Stay offensive, dont get defensive, ask them for a little rope of trust and responsibility so they can allow themselves to trust you more with every inch they will give. I dont think it will get you banned from the family or house. I find it mature to take that step to talk about these things. Most will disregard their parents wishes or sneak around and engage in intimate activities. You dont' have to sit them down and make it all about this. You can simply get on topic during a conversation already going on when you all are together. Edited May 18, 2014 by DArtagnan2
Keenly Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Parents can be so stupid some times. This sheltered girl is going to become the biggest slut because she was never allowed to experiment. Also, the whole " she's 17 " BS excuse from the parents blows my mind. So you're telling me that at 17 and 364 days, something magically happens that some how makes it okay and date for her to be alone with a guy? Stupid. 2
newmoon Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 you don't have the right to approach her parents with this, especially in their home. you are just a high school couple, that doesn't warrant a conversation with her parents about sex. you'd just be proving their point, lol. if anyone should talk with them and their restrictions it should be your gf, you shouldn't be involved. that would be way out of line and I wouldn't have you back over. she is still 17, and yeah, so kids have sex at 14, so what. it doesn't mean you have to be doing that and obviously her parents agree. you have met a girl who has a strong family presence and strong family morals, so you have to either accept that or move along. they obviously want amazing things for their daughter and there is nothing wrong with being overprotective. they probably want to see her finish high school before getting pregnant and all the other things that could potentially screw up her life if she has sex. accept what is going on or go find another gf... 2
Assasda Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Why would you have any convo with her parents? Seems like this girl isnt really ready for a relationship anyway, or she would be sneaking away to see you and lying, lol as they do sometimes. If she doesnt want to do that. She's not ready yet. And you gotta live with the rules 1
deathandtaxes Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Why would you have any convo with her parents? Seems like this girl isnt really ready for a relationship anyway, or she would be sneaking away to see you and lying, lol as they do sometimes. If she doesnt want to do that. She's not ready yet. And you gotta live with the rules Those were the days! Who hasn't snuck out or snuck somebody in?? 1
Versacehottie Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Sorry you are not going to like this answer---but let her have the talk with her parents by herself and from her perspective. She really shouldn't say "yippiedude" and i think you should give us more freedom. She should ask for more freedom on her own merit and from her own thought process or her parents are going to be less receptive to it. All you can really do is if and when they set up new parameters make sure that you follow them. Or you will become the boyfriend her family hates and is trying to get out of the picture. She needs to take up this argument alone. You should continue to be respectful that's your best chance for having more alone time with her. Good luck. 2
Chocolat Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Sorry you are not going to like this answer---but let her have the talk with her parents by herself and from her perspective. She really shouldn't say "yippiedude" and i think you should give us more freedom. She should ask for more freedom on her own merit and from her own thought process or her parents are going to be less receptive to it. All you can really do is if and when they set up new parameters make sure that you follow them. Or you will become the boyfriend her family hates and is trying to get out of the picture. She needs to take up this argument alone. You should continue to be respectful that's your best chance for having more alone time with her. Good luck. This. It's not your place, OP, to have this discussion with your gf's parents and doing so will simply alienate you. 2
FitChick Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Parents can be so stupid some times. This sheltered girl is going to become the biggest slut because she was never allowed to experiment. Just look at Paris Hilton.
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