Alcatraz Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I've spent a lot of time on this forum for several weeks now and seen a lot of insightful things and read a lot of stuff that has helped, so thank you all in advance! We're all here for a reason and we're all here feeling a similar pain so it's great that this place exists. But there is some advice I've chose to ignore, and hopefully mine can help... I've been very low over the past couple of months, I've lost someone that I truly love and my best friend (same person). I've done my begging and pleading but perhaps that isn't a good idea. I chose to not go down the path of NC, I see people posting on here every day asking for advice whether they should go NC, and a large majority do advise that NC is the best way. But I truly would miss her if I did that, maybe it's not always the answer, and if keeping contact with your loved one does put a smile on your face, then why choose NC? Yes, it can be a very negative thing, days of stalking her social networking has hurt me greatly, especially reading things that you don't want to. I've had to keep in mind that there is someone else in her life now and when she says she's doing something I always imagine it will be with him. That hurts. That kills. But you need to go to those low places before you can rise back out of them. I'm not going to lie, some days are bad, I miss her and I regret my mistakes, I beat myself up over it like crazy. But some days, like today for me, are more positive. I'm starting to enjoy things again and mainly I have stopped hating myself so much. I've blamed myself so much for the end of the relationship and the mistakes I've made, but mistakes are there to learn from and make sure we don't make the same mistakes again! Don't let anyone tell you it's over, not everyone is the same and your loved one may realise that they have in fact made a mistake and come running back to you. All you have to do is stay strong, keep yourselves busy, hang out with friends and talk to people about how you're feeling. Believe me it helps. Part of losing someone you love is replacing that empty space with more love for yourself. Don't beat yourself up about it. Stay positive. I still have hope that it will work out ok, but time heals all wounds and if it doesn't then so be it. We will find someone else that will make us happy. I say all of this because last week I had no hope at all. I was at a loss. I never thought I'd be happy again. But I know I can be, and all of you that are currently feeling heartache can be happy again too. Hope this helps at least a small bit. Onwards and upwards! 3
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