hilly534 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 ugh soo I've been seeing this guy off and on for over a year.. anyway last summer he started being distant and after being distant for weeks he told me he didnt think this relationship was going anywhere (after i asked what was going on).. i was devastated but we didnt talk for four months randomly i get a text from him.. anyway we ended up seeing each other again and things feel the same as before its been like 4 months since we've been good again ok so we hung out last friday and i haven't heard from him since and i just have this feeling in my gut he's doing the whole disappearing thing again.. I'm not gonna let him get away with this again without telling him my peace. the only thing is i don't know what to exactly say.. help.. he's the typical ******* guy whose lead me on without committing, but he owes me an explanation 1
beach Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 What to say? Buybye!!! Either that or a simple "no" when he asks to see you. 1
Poppyolive Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I wouldn't bother. I don't think he owes you anything if he's already been a flaky douchebag. I wouldn't waste any more of your time on him. By getting back with him when he text shows that's acceptable. Why don't you show him something else? Like a big F.you...find someone that you're not constantly worrying will do a runner.
almond Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 He knows what he is doing is wrong, but he doesn't care. If you go off at him, you just make it easier - "glad it's over with this crazy b****" is probably what he'll think to himself. He doesn't owe you an explanation...it's rather simple...he is selfish and doesn't want a relationship with you by the looks of things. He doesn't care about your feelings much at all. You aren't looking for the same thing. Just ignore him completely, or tell him calmly that you no longer wish to speak to him at all. Keep it short and sweet, and ditch him. No emotional outbursts, and no demanding explanations. Just tell him you're done and to not contact you anymore. Or, if you want to keep going with this, sit him down and have an honest and upfront conversation about how you expect to be treated and what you're looking for. If he agrees, then see how it goes. If he doesn't hold up his side of the deal, then tell him to take a hike. 1
PegNosePete Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 he owes me an explanation Really? Why do you think he owes you a single thing? Did he sign some kind of contract with you? Sounds like you should just stop seeing this guy, like you said he is a ****** so why bother investing any of your precious life into him? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 If he contacts you again, just tell him where to go and how to get there. And in the meantime, start meeting other guys. This one isn't serious about you.
soccerrprp Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) He's been stringing you along. You've never had an exclusive relationship, so what he does, off and on, is his business. You are allowing him the benefit of your attention when it suits HIM. You are not entitled to an explanation. You two are not a couple and you certainly do not have a history consistent enough to be considered as a relationship of any real foundation. Tell him that you've had enough. You should not have tolerated this from the start. Edited May 16, 2014 by soccerrprp 1
mammasita Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 He really owes you nothing. Unfortunately you're at fault for even letting this guy back in your life thinking he'd changed. He never will. Apologize to yourself and move on. 3
TXGuy Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 You say you have not heard from him since Friday. Does that mean you reached out to him and he did not respond? Or does that mean that neither he nor you have contacted the other? If it is the latter, then you are just as 'douche-baggy' as he is. If after several months of being 'good' again you are expecting him to do all of the initiating, then I understand why he might be allowing things to fade. You are allowing it too.
Mochalatte Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 I'm so sorry...I have been through this. My distant guy jerk ended up having a distant girlfriend! Shut him out of your life. Block him via facebook. Erase his number. Block it. Truthfully, he is using you with no remorse. So whatever get back you want to say or do means nothing to him. He will not care if you disappear other than when he gets horny. My jerk ended up on the great end of things...he married the woman he had been cheating on. She has no idea of it. I'm sure he still cheats. These men go distant because they are juggling another woman or women. Please be the power in this one and YOU disappear on him!!! It makes you look more respectful and confident. And you will feel better about yourself... not used. Wish I had.
Frank2thepoint Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 ok so we hung out last friday and i haven't heard from him since and i just have this feeling in my gut he's doing the whole disappearing thing again.. I'm not gonna let him get away with this again without telling him my peace. the only thing is i don't know what to exactly say.. help.. Do you want to speak your mind in hopes of changing his behavior toward you? Or do you just want to speak your mind and vent with impunity? he's the typical ******* guy whose lead me on without committing, but he owes me an explanation So you know he leads you on, disappears, doesn't commit, yet you still are chasing him. Even though what the guy is doing is really messed up, you still can't control him, no matter what you say to him. But you have full control of yourself, so why do you keep putting yourself into this situation with this guy? And why are you obsessing when you know the answer but are afraid of admitting it?
Zahara Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 but he owes me an explanation I don't believe he owes you anything. If anything, you should have taken the time to discuss the terms and his reasons for this second go around instead of you entertaining him like nothing ever happened after disappearing for 4 months. The only thing you taught him is that he can come and go as he pleases and you have no issues with it. If he acts like the typical guy that has always led you on, why do you keep putting yourself in situations like this?
angel.eyes Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 He owes you an explanation? What was wrong with the one he provided... he told me he didnt think this relationship was going anywhere (after i asked what was going on).. i was devastated but we didnt talk for four months randomly i get a text from him.. anyway we ended up seeing each other again and things feel the same as before Sorry to say, but he didn't lead you on. Both his behavior and his statements are consistent with "this is going nowhere." Randomly texting someone after four months and then continuing to disappear when it suits him, is simply a continuation of the same "this is going nowhere" merry-go-round. It's up to you to accept what he tells you and to get off the ride if it's not what you want. If you're going to be angry with anyone, it should be with yourself.
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