TigerLilly78 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 So I been kind of active (not paying member yet) of a OLD site and as of late when I log in im getting a slew of short simple emails asking my "boob size" and not much else. Needless to say my block button has been burning red hot as im not looking for a cheap hook up. My profile in no way reflects that yet I get men messaging me in this way. Sure maybe if we had some conversations before hand but to just come out and ask is kind of tacky im starting to think as I've seen on here before alot are just using OLD as a electronic booty call these days *sigh*
Ruby Slippers Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Do you have pictures showing off your cleavage and breasts? I haven't done OLD much, but anywhere from 50-90% of the messages I've received have had sexual comments or innuendo. One time I updated my profile with a fairly innocuous photo of me in a fitted top, and the sexual messages went through the roof till I took that picture down. Removing all but the most demure pictures cut WAY down on the volume of sleazy messages I get. 1
Author TigerLilly78 Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 Do you have pictures showing off your cleavage and breasts? I haven't done OLD much, but anywhere from 50-90% of the messages I've received have had sexual comments or innuendo. One time I updated my profile with a fairly innocuous photo of me in a fitted top, and the sexual messages went through the roof till I took that picture down. Removing all but the most demure pictures cut WAY down on the volume of sleazy messages I get. No that's the funny part im not a overly provocatively dresser so my pic/profile reflects that. I think I was in a sweat shirt of all things I could see if I was in a bikini drawing attention on the girls but yeah..lol
gaius Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 The good ones will come later! Just have to weather the storm first.
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Unfortunately that's as standard. You could be dressed as a nun and they'd still try and get your breast size and send you sleazy messages. There are some nice blokes on there, although very few and far between x
PegNosePete Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Why don't you just hide your profile and message guys whose profiles you like? There is a lot of this kind of thing on OLD but if you just ignore it, or set filters to exclude them, the genuine guys are on there too. You don't say which site you're using but on POF you can set a minimum message length, age, location, photos, etc - I would imagine other sites have the same filters.
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Why don't you just hide your profile and message guys whose profiles you like? There is a lot of this kind of thing on OLD but if you just ignore it, or set filters to exclude them, the genuine guys are on there too. You don't say which site you're using but on POF you can set a minimum message length, age, location, photos, etc - I would imagine other sites have the same filters. I don't think these messages come from people who don't have photos, or are age specific. I have had these messages from men ranging from 18-60ish (quite what the 60 year old was playing at I don't know) I do agree to hiding your profile though. When I used POF I had mine hidden and only messaged those I had interest in. If the pests can't see you they can't message you and if the one's you message are perverts you can block them 1
PegNosePete Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I don't think these messages come from people who don't have photos, or are age specific. I have had these messages from men ranging from 18-60ish (quite what the 60 year old was playing at I don't know) So you agree with me If you set an age filter then you would get less of these messages. If you set (for example) 30-40 then 18-30 or 41-60+ couldn't send you them... which might reduce the number by 75% or so.
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 So you agree with me If you set an age filter then you would get less of these messages. If you set (for example) 30-40 then 18-30 or 41-60+ couldn't send you them... which might reduce the number by 75% or so. Didn't think about it like that, however yeah I suppose you are right. 1
BikerAccnt Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 These messages have to be from guys who are clearly not serious about meeting anyone. When I was doing OLD, I never sent messages like that. Then again, I knew what I wanted and a booty call wasn't on the list. 1
Teraskas Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 These messages have to be from guys who are clearly not serious about meeting anyone. When I was doing OLD, I never sent messages like that. Then again, I knew what I wanted and a booty call wasn't on the list. Same here. Seems to me that OLD has acted as nothing more than an easy mode tool for douches and have ruined it for folks who are genuinely looking for something more. As a result of this, the vast majority of women automatically assume that ALL guys on OLD are like that. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Yep. Sounds bang on to me As I've said in previous posts, I've tried a slew of different dating sites over the years (not all at the same time however). Some paid and some not. There is no question that idiots, liars, scammers, cheaters, players and any other dysfunctional character frequent OLD sites regardless of the genre. It's part of being online where anonymity is available to anyone that wants it. After a while, you learn how to play the game although it can be quite frustrating when all YOU want to do is meet a nice normal guy. If I had to rate my experiences on some of the sites I was on, there is a clear winner for me and that was Lava Life. It's pretty popular in Canada but not too sure how popular it is in the USA. I spent the longest mount of time on there and met some pretty great guys even if they didn't turn into anything long term. Some have become friends which is always appreciated. The way they had it set up was that there were three options you could go with; dating, relationship or NSA (or whatever they called it). You created your profile and then posted it on one or two or all three pages depending on what you were looking for. You also had the option to set restrictions on your own profile to weed out the less serious or questionably moral characters. Of course, there were many men who had their profiles up on all three pages which I found hilarious. If you wanted to vet out those that were looking for a NSA, your restrictions wouldn't allow them to contact you. You also had greater control over your pictures. There was a general/open gallery but you could also post other pictures that might be for a select few and the only way they would get to see those pictures is if you gave them temporary access. Brilliant. The site also offers instant messaging and FREE calls anywhere in North America provided your a paid member! The beautiful thing about this was that your number stayed private - you just dialed into their service and it called without revealing your number. You would get 2 hours of talk time before it would hang up and if you wanted to continue talking, you just had to dial up again. As a woman, I felt very safe being on this site which has been an issue on other sites. I got to chat with men a bit to get to know them before exchanging personal info and numbers. Having the free call option also vetted out a lot of questionable characters which is always a good thing. Having had a few bad experiences in the past, these perks set this site apart from all others in a big way in my opinion. As a result of being on LL, I met WAY more quality men than I ever met on ANY other site COMBINED! Excellent site Perhaps one to consider in the future. I know POF well and the reputation it seems to have, at least where I live, is that it's notorious for being a hook-up site. That's not to say there aren't great people looking for serious relationships on there BUT the vast majority on there are indeed looking for some kind of playtime if they can get it. Regardless, OLD can be challenging but not impossible. It takes time and patience and smarts to weed through it. Remain selective and steadfast in what you're looking for. It will come sooner or later. Good luck. 2
awesome0 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Thanks for starting this thread here. OLD to me does seem like a "meat locker" I'm attempting it because I do have a career and its increasingly difficult in my position to meet people traditionally. I sent countless messages out over the past few weeks and have maybe gotten 5 responses. I hadn't been on in days but this morning I had 1 message. From a 35 year old women who had 4 children 3 of which were 21 or older. She's also a proud unemployed high school dropout and claims it in her profile. Maybe she is a great person but I'm not going to find out.
deathandtaxes Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Ahh the fun differences between being a guy and a gal on OLD. As a guy, I am lucky to get a 1 in 10-20 response rate on my e-mails. These aren't generic shotgun messages. These are curt messages saying hello, referencing something in the profile. If what you experience, OP, is what I am up against, I should have no problems getting responses. But then that leads to the other nasty part of OLD, that it's all just window shopping. People only looking at pictures and nothing else.
PegNosePete Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 But then that leads to the other nasty part of OLD, that it's all just window shopping. People only looking at pictures and nothing else. Where do you get that idea? I've met 20+ women, I read all of their profiles, and all of them read mine. There's a lot of myths dressed as fact thrown around about OLD, many of it has no basis in reality whatsoever. What evidence do you have to back up your claim? Do you have any facts and figures about how many people do or don't read profiles, or are you just quoting tired old rhetoric from the many bitter and jaded people who've tried and failed at OLD?
deathandtaxes Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Where do you get that idea? I've met 20+ women, I read all of their profiles, and all of them read mine. There's a lot of myths dressed as fact thrown around about OLD, many of it has no basis in reality whatsoever. What evidence do you have to back up your claim? Do you have any facts and figures about how many people do or don't read profiles, or are you just quoting tired old rhetoric from the many bitter and jaded people who've tried and failed at OLD? Feels like an exercise in window-shopping. I may not be the best-looking guy, but I look damn good on paper. Just a bit of a rant. I have met plenty of women via OLD. Just a recent odd slump I am I for the past month. But back to the OP - not sure what else you can do that hasn't already been suggested. Block. Filter.
Phoe Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Maybe I'm just an oddball, but only about 1/10 of the messages I received were sexual in nature. The rest were polite and reasonable, asking me questions on stuff I'd written in my profile.
Phoe Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I didn't get any sexual messages. As a previous post indicates, oft repeated myths about OLD abound and are repeated. The successful OLD subscribers have a much more positive experience. The bitter ones are doing something wrong but, instead of changing, prefer to wallow in some kinship of bitterness. Millions have met their partners OLD. If someone has nothing but negative experiences then the best tool for them is a mirror to gaze into and reevaluate their approach. I had a pleasant time of OLD. I spent a good 6 months trying to convince myself to sign up, but because of horror stories here, never did. I'd make a post saying "I'm thinking of trying OLD" and would be told "NO don't do it, it's a waste of time, it's a soul-sucking bottomless pit" - so I didn't sign up. Finally I signed up, fearing the worst, lo and behold it wasn't bad at all. I wasn't "bombarded" with hundreds of messages like men seem to think happens to women, I got about 8 or 9 a day, which was a decent amount while being manageable, and 90% of those messages were totally polite and reasonable. I have nothing bad to say. As a girl who could not get dates IRL, trying OLD and have a pleasant time really was a relief. 2
gaius Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I had a pleasant time of OLD. I spent a good 6 months trying to convince myself to sign up, but because of horror stories here, never did. I'd make a post saying "I'm thinking of trying OLD" and would be told "NO don't do it, it's a waste of time, it's a soul-sucking bottomless pit" - so I didn't sign up. Finally I signed up, fearing the worst, lo and behold it wasn't bad at all. I wasn't "bombarded" with hundreds of messages like men seem to think happens to women, I got about 8 or 9 a day, which was a decent amount while being manageable, and 90% of those messages were totally polite and reasonable. I have nothing bad to say. As a girl who could not get dates IRL, trying OLD and have a pleasant time really was a relief. It's like pulling teeth sometimes trying to argue against some of the people that give terrible advice.
michellew Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 So I been kind of active (not paying member yet) of a OLD site and as of late when I log in im getting a slew of short simple emails asking my "boob size" and not much else. Needless to say my block button has been burning red hot as im not looking for a cheap hook up. My profile in no way reflects that yet I get men messaging me in this way. Sure maybe if we had some conversations before hand but to just come out and ask is kind of tacky im starting to think as I've seen on here before alot are just using OLD as a electronic booty call these days *sigh* Which site are you on?? I've been on match on and off for two years and never had a problem with pervs. I think the free sites are more prone to this. The only problem I have is being inundated with emails from men who clearly did not read my profile and what I'm looking for.
Recommended Posts