Guylonesome Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 (edited) Time has progressed in this relationship in which i am now confused, i believe the only people who may answer this is other single moms. I met a girl a felllow coworker i know bad idea but unfortunately could not help it it just happened. Now from the beggining we hit it off, we were sadly split among 2 different stores and did not see each other until payday that by chance she had to come over to pick up her check. Anyways the day she came she specifically came looking for me and surprisingly asked me for my number, i may add that at this time she was in a relationship she was trying to end. We dated eventually one thing led to another and she again made the move and well we moved into a more romantic stage. however after a few weeks i noticed she began changing, another guy had been trying to hook up with her and sadly she asked me to give her distance because she felt confused and unsure and was not trying to hurt me. well as much as it hurt i accepted because she has already been through hellish relationship my ideology was better to be her friend then to loose her completly. Dont get me wrong i still cherish and like her but i have prettymuch locked it up and became what i believe a friend shold be. Now here comes the part i need your help with. So shes dating this other guy which she talks to me about, bugs me to know but i do listen and i try to help, im not the hating jealous kind of person. Now i have noticed that she slowly is beggining to push him aside because of his insecurity, he knows who i am i know who he is, the difference is i make the time he cant for her, and she has been going out with me and taking me out to eat hangout. She has also introduced me to her son, which from what i know she has not done wtih him. I will say this kid is a joy to be around smart funny little boy everytime us 3 are together we seem to just have a great time laughing and just enjoying our time. However she has always said she is not looking for a relationship. Is this some kind of test, is she trying to see if i snap or if im serious, or is this just a mom being friendly and likes my company as a friend and does not mind me meeting her boy. Personally id love to be in her life as more then a friend but can also live to be nothing but her friend, she is just one of those girls or person that you get along with so well u cant let them go. So I just wanna ask what do you mothers thing is going on here, am i being used played or does she just enjoy my friendship i dont know, this is my first time ever dating a girl with a child and honestly i do not mind at all if anything i seem to enjoy everything about her, and should i bother to try and win her heart over once again or should i let things just flow as intended. Edited May 15, 2014 by Guylonesome
mammasita Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 My version of your post (please correct me if I'm wrong): She pursued you while in a relationship. 3 weeks into dating you she pursued another guy and straight friend zoned you. You accept this and think you still have a chance. This girl has issues. Single mother or not, she will never commit to you and if she does she will always be on the lookout for the next best thing and always have another man lined up even before she ends things with you. As for bringing her son around she sees you as nothing more than a friend. I never had a problem introducing my son to friends (male/female) because kids aren't stupid, they pick up on mommy's body language. Romantic interests on the other hand were kept away for some time. Anyway......... Is this the kind of woman you want? If yes, then go ahead and be her friend but unfortunately it's highly unlikely that she'll change her mind. 1
Assasda Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I dont think think the girl has issues. I think OP has issues. What he dd, AND IS STILL DOING, is putting her on the highest pedestal imaginable. That Pedestal is way high. She has absolutely no respect for you. And as Mammasita said, You have no romantic value, so she has no problem introducing you to her kid. My advice, get your balls back from whoever took them, and take her off the pedestal
ascendotum Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Male here. "Personally id love to be in her life as more then a friend", then you haven't really dealt with becoming just her friend, and you really should change the subject when she starts telling you about the dramas she has with other guy/s she's dating. I've known woman that I thought were fantastic to be around even though I knew I was not their type, but I didn't live in hope and be an orbiter (well yeah once when young). You might be a backup guy. She probably knows you still have feelings for her. If she is seeing other guy/s then having you around her house or out to dinner as a single male friend is not going to last, when the main guy becomes more established in her life. If she wants nothing serious though, maybe they never will and your friendship can continue. Does it suck though to consider yourself a backup, that she might reconsider after she has had a number of flings? Hey you might not be a backup, and was just the rebound guy that she has no strong attraction to, but is a nice friend.
Valen Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I never had a problem introducing my son to friends (male/female) because kids aren't stupid, they pick up on mommy's body language. Romantic interests on the other hand were kept away for some time. Why is that? Why do you keep romantic interests away from your son while male friends are ok? And usually when do you introduce your romantic interests to your son, how long do u wait?
mammasita Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Why is that? Why do you keep romantic interests away from your son while male friends are ok? And usually when do you introduce your romantic interests to your son, how long do u wait? Because friends are almost always introduced out and about, not in our home. Romantic interests are not introduced unless I know we have long term potential (i.e. In a relationship). No need for a revolving door of men in my sons life. 1
UnderAttack2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Hey Sorry from a girls perspective sounds like you hit the friend zone, but that manipulative friend zone where she knows you like her so she uses you almost as a back up. Doesn't mean you can't be very good friends, but you need to let go of the idea that you and her will live happily ever after, it's unlikely to happen, not impossible but from what you have posted I'd try and maintain some distance (if you can) and get back out there:) there is someone for everyone you don't need to share or have your feelings played with
d0nnivain Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Her child is not a factor here, other than it makes no sense to me why she is exposing the kid to her adult life. She sees you as a friend & only a friend. Will she give FWBs an occasional tumble? Maybe because based upon what you have written she doesn't appear to have clear boundaries but you are unequivocally friend-zoned. If she wanted a romantic relationship with you, she would never cry on your shoulder or discuss her exploits with another guy with you. If you are OK with just being her friend with no hope ever of being more & spending the better portion of the rest of your life cleaning up her romantic messes while never getting the girl yourself, by all means keep being her friend. Despite your denials I think we both know you want more so I'd add some distance in here for your own sanity
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Time has progressed in this relationship in which i am now confused, i believe the only people who may answer this is other single moms. I met a girl a felllow coworker i know bad idea but unfortunately could not help it it just happened. Now from the beggining we hit it off, we were sadly split among 2 different stores and did not see each other until payday that by chance she had to come over to pick up her check. Anyways the day she came she specifically came looking for me and surprisingly asked me for my number, i may add that at this time she was in a relationship she was trying to end. We dated eventually one thing led to another and she again made the move and well we moved into a more romantic stage. however after a few weeks i noticed she began changing, another guy had been trying to hook up with her and sadly she asked me to give her distance because she felt confused and unsure and was not trying to hurt me. well as much as it hurt i accepted because she has already been through hellish relationship my ideology was better to be her friend then to loose her completly. Dont get me wrong i still cherish and like her but i have prettymuch locked it up and became what i believe a friend shold be. Now here comes the part i need your help with. So shes dating this other guy which she talks to me about, bugs me to know but i do listen and i try to help, im not the hating jealous kind of person. Now i have noticed that she slowly is beggining to push him aside because of his insecurity, he knows who i am i know who he is, the difference is i make the time he cant for her, and she has been going out with me and taking me out to eat hangout. She has also introduced me to her son, which from what i know she has not done wtih him. I will say this kid is a joy to be around smart funny little boy everytime us 3 are together we seem to just have a great time laughing and just enjoying our time. However she has always said she is not looking for a relationship. Is this some kind of test, is she trying to see if i snap or if im serious, or is this just a mom being friendly and likes my company as a friend and does not mind me meeting her boy. Personally id love to be in her life as more then a friend but can also live to be nothing but her friend, she is just one of those girls or person that you get along with so well u cant let them go. So I just wanna ask what do you mothers thing is going on here, am i being used played or does she just enjoy my friendship i dont know, this is my first time ever dating a girl with a child and honestly i do not mind at all if anything i seem to enjoy everything about her, and should i bother to try and win her heart over once again or should i let things just flow as intended. I think the reason she has introduced to her son is because she see's you as a friend. I as a single mother wouldn't introduce a love interest to my children until I knew it was a) certain it was going to last and b) was certain that they were good enough to be around my children. You have been friendzoned. This is why she talks to you about this guy, this is why she will happily see you, go to dinner with you as it isn't a date and this is why you've been allowed around her son. Probably not what you want to hear but that's likely the reasoning.
Omei Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 (edited) I dont see how her being a mom has anything to do with your post or why you think only single moms can help your post when its about her. Anyway it seems this girl jumps from men to men I mean she asked for your number before ever being single right? Then went out with you now someone else while she keeps you as back up I would totally forget about her. I agree that you've been friendzoned. Edited May 15, 2014 by Omei
Assasda Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I like when he asks "should i bother to try and win her heart over once again" like h'es got a shot hahahahahahaha. You are super in the friendzone. You are friendzoned like a gay-best friend. I know this is not what you want to here, but, be done with it and move on to other women
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 That and having her heart in the first place kinda helps... You never had it to begin with
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