drewdude Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Hello LS. In a nutshell. I have been with my ex for about 8 months. We had many problems that kinda led into a mutual breakup last month(one of the main reasons was that she was too clingy/needy with me). After the breakup, I deleted her off Facebook and went NC. She messaged me the day after saying she had a change of heart and wanted me back. I started to talk to her through text for a couple weeks. She was constantly telling me how she wanted me back/missed me, owned up to her mistakes, wanted to be a better gf, and supposedly had her own place and job. Basically begging me to come back and throwing a pity party how she has nobody to come home to, is lonely etc.. I took some time to think so I told her I'd go see her again. After I saw her 2 weeks ago, I noticed her attitude changed. She no longer texted me as much as she use to, or called me at all...and I noticed some things too when I went to go see her after the breakup. I pull up thinking I am going to hang out at her "place" and she tells me to park a few houses down cause her "boss" said so. I question why? Boss? her supposed "house" or excuse for it is that for work, she is taking care of an elderly woman and living with her. I brush it off(but remembering saying she was living by herself), we hang out all day, I offer to take her home and she says she forgot her key and needs to break in so she'd rather not have me leave her off? So I drop her off at her friends. Last weekend when we were hanging out, she fell asleep when we were hanging out at a friends and she got phone bombed at 1am, about 3-4 consistent calls. She was knocked out but I heard it the virbations. Do you think she is seeing someone else? Also, Shes been really dodgy lately and not even replying much to any type of convo I am trying to start through text/facebook. She supposedly says she ment what she said about wanting me back, but that shes been busy with college homework and has been learning from her mistake of not being so clingy...but nothings wrong with a text right? Nor is she even calling me much. What do you people here at LS think? I appreciate any answers, thank you very much.
Ordinaryday Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 people often want what they can't have. when she thought she couldnt have you she wanted you more than anything but when she got you she didnt want you anymore. very common. 1
johnpatric Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Its very common, when the person is not with you that time you can know the value of that person and how important that person in your life. so if you don't have any problem to get back with her then I think you should have to give her one chance...
Rig88 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 It's easy to get caught up in a bubble of nostalgia after a break up. Unfortunately , unless both parties are 100% comitted and have learned that they are indeed right for each other during their time apart , it's not going to work. What you'd find is that you'd be happy for a while and after a few weeks/months you'd eventually hit a wall and all the old problems would start to repeat and before you know it you're right back at that miserable place which lead you to break up in the first place. Im not saying that it never happens but it's rare. Sometimes going back is just laced with empty promises , high expectations and mostly ends in disappointment.
Candy_Pants Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Sounds like she changed her mind, or liked the idea of having you back more than the actuality. Or she was out for an ego boost just to see if you'd come back. And now you've served your purpose. Sorry man.
Summerrose2013 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 You broke up because she was too clingy and now shes backed off from you and you don;t like it. ??? You can't have it both ways..... 1
xUnknown Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Start to play the game she played. Pull back. Better yet, **** her man. Just dump her and move on. Read below. I think this "house" that was "hers" was really some other guy she was seeing. Park a few doors down b/c of my boss??....forgot her key, drop me off at a friends?? Yeah, sure... She didn't want you to be seen at the house she was really going back to. Why else would she avoid you dropping her off or parking in front of "her" house. She was phone bombed because this guy who she is seeing (and staying over at his place with) probably wondered where the hell she was since she wasn't at his place. 3
Author drewdude Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Thats exactly what I was thinking too unknown..I confronted her again yesterday. She swears there is nobody else and shes been down lately cause she don't have custody of her daughter..We hung out last night..made out and that led to pretty much sex. She texted me telling she missed me this morning..But once again, It just doesn't seem like shes all there anymore. Texted eachother earlier but it was very limited/dodgy on her part. I think I am just going to stop talking to her.
xUnknown Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Thats exactly what I was thinking too unknown..I confronted her again yesterday. She swears there is nobody else and shes been down lately cause she don't have custody of her daughter..We hung out last night..made out and that led to pretty much sex. She texted me telling she missed me this morning..But once again, It just doesn't seem like shes all there anymore. Texted eachother earlier but it was very limited/dodgy on her part. I think I am just going to stop talking to her. You gotta stop. She's being dodgy, not responding to your calls/texts/fb messages.... You're a convenience for her. You're showing her (by your actions last night) that she can have you, without being with you. You're only hurting yourself more by keeping in contact with her. If she wants you back, she's gotta be the one to go get you. That means SHE has to go ALL OUT for you. She's the one to make contact with you, not the other way around. You have the be the one that is "busy"...she has to know that your life doesn't revolve around her (which is what you're making it seem right now --ie: you're the one being clingy). 1
Author drewdude Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 (edited) I'm back here again. I tried to be strong but we continued hanging out..she still said she misses me, shows affection when he hang/have sex etc. But the dodgyness continues...I don't know what to do anymore. I am soo hurt. I shouldn't have even talked to her again to begin with. But she spent 3 long weeks practically begging for me back(And I had good reason to ignore her cause on top of her being overly needy, she would threaten to hang out with guys at 1am and beyong when I was too tired from work to go see her). Past few days she lightly communicated with me, basically asking what I was doing, me responding and it ending right there. Few nights in a row already... Edited May 26, 2014 by drewdude
bubbaganoosh Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 IMO, move on. There are too many shady things going on like parking down the street and losing keys. If it was me, I would let her know that you don't feel like she's being honest and if she can give you that, then it's not worth seeing her.
Author drewdude Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 Question, have you even been to "her" place yet? Nope, she actually "moved out" the other day and had to find a new place. I confronted her yet again on everything last night through texts. I told her if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore just be honest cause this is doing me no good. She said shes dealing with a lot, taking care of a sick uncle and still wants to talk. Yet, When I was trying to talk to her in more detail last night she said she had a bad toothache and couldn't think clearly, "promised" me she would text me back a little later in the night and low and behold, I get a text from her this morning saying "sorry I fell asleep, lol. Didn't get much sleep the previous night" and continued to say nothing at all...Meh
xUnknown Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 cut it off bro. Simple as that. Your stress and worrying about this situation will be gone once you do. You'll realize that you don't deserve to be waiting around for her any longer. She's holding all the power right now, and she knows it. She has you. She's making you an option, making you think about her all the time ---because you let her. Flip the table on her and stop talking to her. Then you'll be the one on her mind. Once you do this you'll start to think more clearly - "Do I really want to waste my time with someone who isn't going to make an effort into seeing or talking to me".
Author drewdude Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 cut it off bro. Simple as that. Your stress and worrying about this situation will be gone once you do. You'll realize that you don't deserve to be waiting around for her any longer. She's holding all the power right now, and she knows it. She has you. She's making you an option, making you think about her all the time ---because you let her. Flip the table on her and stop talking to her. Then you'll be the one on her mind. Once you do this you'll start to think more clearly - "Do I really want to waste my time with someone who isn't going to make an effort into seeing or talking to me". Thanks bro. You're right. When we first broke it off that was my mentality and I was doing great. But during those few weeks she was begging for me back she threw in some big pity parties/guilt trips and I kinda got sucked into it cause I am a caring person at heart. I gave in and feelings came back. I said all I wanted to say to her earlier today and that was it, I have nothing more to tell her and left the ball in her court. Now I am going to do my best and walk on. If I get no response soon I am just going to remove her off my facebook/contacts without letting her know. Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it.
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