John manning Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 I Don't know what brought me to this site, maybe it was just seeking anything positive or just any answer, I was so caught between the hope of getting back together and trying to get over her (the latter of which is impossible when you still have that mentality) The thing that I loved straight away was how brutally honest people are, believe me its necessary. A lot of people have different opinions and its nice to get a few different view points. Now , for anyone else new to this site , just remember that people are giving their opinions , nothing on here is factual. Its all applied to different relationships and although they may sound similar , every relationship is different. Things like NC aren't exact sciences , different people respond differently to it . For example a female friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years because the spark had gone, now I asked her what would she want him to do . Her reply was she wanted him to check up on her and show that he really cared so obviously NC isn't applicable to every situation. I read somewhere that NC is no different to emotional abuse , ignoring someone because you haven't gotten your way. Although I don't fully agree with this it was thought provoking to think how the other half would see NC, I personally would see it as they didn't care anymore. Stay strong.
Michael 93 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 So the woman broke up with a man who probably loved her unconditionally after 3 years because her spark had vanished? But then she expects him to stay and check in every now and again after possibly breaking his heart. So she can get her own needs and conscious met? What about his feelings? Does she understand that it may just be too damn hard on him to remain friends and "check in once in a while" I myself, find that extremely selfish. What if he showed that he really cared? Does that mean she would want him back? I guess the answer to that question would be No...... 1
Author John manning Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 I guess thats just some womens way of handling things, "I know , I want to put him through emotional torture to see if he really cares about me " What happened to just putting cards on the table and sparing all these bull**** games
FredJones80 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 So the woman broke up with a man who probably loved her unconditionally after 3 years because her spark had vanished? But then she expects him to stay and check in every now and again after possibly breaking his heart. So she can get her own needs and conscious met? What about his feelings? Does she understand that it may just be too damn hard on him to remain friends and "check in once in a while" I myself, find that extremely selfish. What if he showed that he really cared? Does that mean she would want him back? I guess the answer to that question would be No...... Couldn't agree more with you. Sounds like a child. Wouldn't want to be with someone like that. Another story where the "spark" has gone.. sigh. Its funny, a spark starts an engine off... it isn't supposed to keep sparking. Sigh. 1
Author John manning Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 I dont know where the illusion is coming from that the feelings you get when you first start dating stay the whole way through your relationship. 1
FredJones80 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 I dont know where the illusion is coming from that the feelings you get when you first start dating stay the whole way through your relationship. Join the club John.. and the debate http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/476516-romantic-love-vs-committed-love-food-thought
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