manod96 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 So i already posted a thread about 2 or 3 days ago link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/476489-will-no-contact-work-me#post5694226 but anyway, her is the new updated story: in the other thread i told my whole story of what happend, but after 2 days of NC i confirmed she didn't had feelings for her other ex anymore. She even said she still had feelings for me and loved me! Today we went to the city to buy me some new clothes, she saw i changed back in the fun and normal guy. But she didn't seem to care because she was really tired after having an appointment with her terapist. Yes we laughed a couple of times, and she even have been staring at me for some point, she saw how i changed, i could see it in her eyes. When we went home she still said this: we both have past problems that are bumping into each other and a relationship next to this will only make it worse. So if we please will work on our problems first, then we can see if things are working out. I was a little down but also happy for a moment because i knew she still loved me and there might be a chance to get her back! Now i said this to her a few minutes ago: Can i have some time alone? just for 3 days so i can think about things a little bit? She was a little confused but she agreed that it was for the best to first of all have a little time for ourselfs again. This will also improve my changes even more, because now i have even more time to work on myself. So my question is: did i make the right choice to think of reconcilation? and will this 3 days space and time thing really work out for us, because it will make her miss me ofcourse? - thanks
ayala Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Not really sure if 3 days is enough, to be honest. It takes time to change. Building new friendships, getting the help you need (possibly therapy to help with your past), building your self confidence and such. It could take weeks. Nothing happens right away. It's too soon. But you already gave her your word. Tread carefully. If you two do get back together, make sure you keep improving yourself. You can still change even while in a relationship. You two will begin to shape each other as well as yourself so long as it's stable and sufficient support from one another and you both have to be willing to seek help if you need it/it begins to affect your relationship. You have to first be an individual and enjoy your own time by yourself, do things by yourself, basically become your own person. That's just me though! Every case is different depending on the people involved. Good luck.
Author manod96 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 thanks for your advice, i have to mention, i said we could still text each other when we need it. It won't be that much contact because we are busy with our own problems ofcourse. but i made sure she can rely (i think i spelled that right, sorry i am dutch) on me. I will surely stay as much low contact as possible.
Strength in Healing Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Let's be real... The 3 day thing -- this is a poor attempt at manipulation. 3 days will do nothing. 3 months will do little. 3 years, maybe... Let it go brother, it is over. You are at the passe that everyone, including me, had so much trouble with. I am sorry about the horrible things that have happened in your past. My heart goes out to you. But this relationship is over, sadly.
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