idknow Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I know the general rule is, guy like girl - guy chases girl... Been dating this girl I met over the OKC and been on about 5 dates, but seems like I always do the initiating. Is she just not interested and just being nice/bored?
BlueIris Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I thought that was the romancing dynamic, and I like it and so do the men I've dated. Maybe you want a woman who leads and this woman just doesn't take a leader's position. You can tell if she likes you by how she responds and whether she's flirting with you.
halfcrazed_i Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Have you thought about having "the talk" with her? To see where your relationship (or whatever it is you have) is going?
daisydook Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 What I found odd about dating again after being out of the dating world a long time, was that everyone I speak to has no idea what kind of "thing" they have gotten themselves into with people. No one knows if they are dating, BF/GF, just friends with benefits... Everyone is just so confused about what it is they are doing with other people these days. Lol. With confusion comes pain. I believe if you are old enough to sleep with someone, you are old enough to speak. If you have to play guessing games, it isnt worth your time. So if she is constantly just responding with short answers and never initiating contact, I wouldn't say she cared too much. When I am interested, I make it apparent. If that isnt ok, then the guy isnt right for me. Im a suck, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am an awesome girl! I have no problem showing people that. My boyfriend and I met online and from the first night, when we finally met, we both knew we wanted to date one another exclusively. We both made it abundantly clear that very night. There is no doubt in my mind he knows how I feel about him, and vice versa. Have a chat. See where her head is at. She may be playing it cool and totally liking you, and just seeing how much you are willing to do for her attention, or she may not be all that interested. You mentioned being on 5 dates. Have these dates happened close together? Weeks apart? Have you slept with one another yet? Kissing? Anything?
Frank2thepoint Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I know the general rule is, guy like girl - guy chases girl... Been dating this girl I met over the OKC and been on about 5 dates, but seems like I always do the initiating. Is she just not interested and just being nice/bored? Have you've done more than just date? Have you made physical contact, such as hand holding? Have you kissed? Maybe she's still waiting for you to make some moves.
bene Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 She might be old-fashioned and let the man do the chasing. If she continues to go out with you then I think she's interested. 5 dates is a short time and it would be easy for her to back out if she didn't like you. Maybe she would like to initiate but follows some stupid rules... That is so true: What I found odd about dating again after being out of the dating world a long time, was that everyone I speak to has no idea what kind of "thing" they have gotten themselves into with people. No one knows if they are dating, BF/GF, just friends with benefits... Everyone is just so confused about what it is they are doing with other people these days. 1
PegNosePete Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Personally if a woman were not taking an active part in the organization of dates - especially after 5 - I would think she is either not interested, or not right for me. I don't want a wall flower, I want someone with some get up and go.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I'm fairly traditional in my dating and relationship style and like assertive men who go after what they want, and I always let the man initiate dates. I respond positively and with enthusiasm and suggest fun things we can do, make sure he knows I'm having a good time and would like to keep seeing him. But I don't ask men out, ever. I think some women are more willing to do the initiating work than I am, but most women would prefer that the man ask her out, and find that much more romantic and sexy than chasing the guy. 1
TheNewMe2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Speaking from very recent experience. It does *NOT* mean she's not interested. For three months I had been dating a woman who I felt very strongly about and she and I always had a great time together. But she would not initiate - or even call/text (typically). What I accepted about her early on is that she may be shy, cautious, or old fashioned. Didn't matter, I liked her. As long as she kept saying yes and I saw incremental changes for the better in our 'relationship', I figured I'd keep dating/initiating until something changed or I couldn't do it anymore. Well, happy to say over the last 2-3 weeks, she initiates and is much more open. Everyone is different. She has taught me that. I've learned that if someone is worth 'working' for -they are worth working for. So, having said that, there is a chance she is ambivalent. But, if you get the feeling there is something there or you enjoy her company - keep initiating. It will make her feel special and maybe it will just take her time to feel comfortable asking you out. Only you know what kind of vibe she is giving you. For me, I got the vibe she was interested. But many times when I asked advice on this forum, folks said she may not have interest. I'm glad I trusted myself. But don't fool yourself either. As for being 'nice'. I don't think she would continue to go out with you just to be nice. The moral of my very long story is - without much more details...we can't tell you. But be cautious about giving up on someone you like. But don't read this to mean she is interested either. Trust your feelings.
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