He wants to eat at a place where waitresses are scantily dressed, I don't.

May 13, 2014

This is a sign that he is not that into you. He wouldn't risk the ire of someone he really likes.

May 13, 2014

This is a sign that he is not that into you. He wouldn't risk the ire of someone he really likes.

This. Why did you break up OP?

May 13, 2014

Ha...can't believe this is about the food, the place, or even the way the nurses are dressed, you have a much bigger problem.

May 13, 2014

That's not fair. I want to go there for the experience and the food. I have no interest in looking at those women. I have gone to Hooters once and I enjoyed the food, and it was a good environment. I think OP is overreacting.

What experience? Take out the women and what's the experience/environment? A sports bar? They have those on every corner.

May 13, 2014

This is a sign that he is not that into you. He wouldn't risk the ire of someone he really likes.

I agree.

I'm curious, is there a dress code for customers? It would be funny to go in an outfit as skimpy as the wait staff, and see his reaction

May 13, 2014

I agree.

I'm curious, is there a dress code for customers? It would be funny to go in an outfit as skimpy as the wait staff, and see his reaction

YES!!!!!

May 13, 2014

Wow! You don't need a new restaurant. You need a new boyfriend! It is a tasteless idea to take you there in the first place. When you add the fact that you told him you don't want to go there and he still pushes, he's a complete tool.

Doesn't sound like he cares much about how you feel. That's a deal breaker in and of itself.

Yeah, the only way I would go is if I went dressed as porno nurse, then flirted with every single male in there. But that would be my swan song. Because I would never go out with him again!

Really though, you are completely justified and right in your thinking. He's a disrespectful guy.

Edited May 13, 2014 by blueskyday

May 13, 2014

I think the whole restaurant is f'ed up and I wouldn't go on principle. Nevermind the hipster trend of saying how much you love things that are bad for you as though it's super daring or something -

'Heart Attack Grill' Owner Proudly Displays Dead Customer's Remains | TIME.com

But the food is unapologetically made from large portions of factory farmed animals - the whole thing is so greedy and gluttonous and unsconscious. I don't think it's a joke to kill so copiously and unnecessarily.

So they bring you wine in a bloog bag on a pole, hospital drip style... if you don't finish your meal you get spanked (keep the paddle for six dollars, video straight up on their website!) and they state their veg option is tobacco.

What a super trashy place... obviously relies on shock value. The waitresses being dressed up as trashy nurses is the least offputting thing about the place!

Seriously though... what kind of guy wants to take his girlfriend to a place like that, with half naked ladies purposefully drawing attention? I'm no prude, but they're clearly one of the main draws of the restaurant, if he wanted to impress you/make you feel like the only girl he wants in the world he wouldn't suggest somewhere like this I don't think. I'm not at all jealous of my boyfriend seeing hot women, I know a gig he played the other night was a cabaret thing and also had burlesque on the bill (I couldn't attend) and didn't care even though it's basically stripping. But if he said 'hey babe, let's go out and eat here' at a place with waitresses in outfits like that I would tell him to take a hike. If he wants to enjoy my company he can do so without simultaneously enjoying ogling naked chicks.

May 13, 2014

Also the owner seems like a major douche. Using a dead person's ashes, who happened to have had a heart attack at the restaurant, to promote the place and get attention.

I'm slim, healthy, don't even eat meat, yet even I know that eating somewhere like that once in a while (like once every three or four weeks, unless you're getting the 10k calorie option each time!) isn't going to do jack sh/t to your health as long as the rest of your diet is healthy.

May 13, 2014

That's not fair. I want to go there for the experience and the food. I have no interest in looking at those women. I have gone to Hooters once and I enjoyed the food, and it was a good environment. I think OP is overreacting.

Um. I don't see why it isn't fair - it seems eminently fair to say "you go ahead, I'll sit this one out". It's not like she's saying he shouldn't go. She just doesn't want to go along. How is that not fair?

And there are gazillions of sports bars out there with good food. If one person doesn't want to go to a particular one that's frankly and obviously promoted on the back of its scantily clad women, I'm not sure why that needs to be a line in the sand. Sure, one can go and enjoy the food, but it's disingenuous to pretend like the women aren't part of the attraction.

Seems more like a bullshxt test, to me - the "are you a Cool Girl " test. Bleh.

May 13, 2014

I'd think the guy was pathetic for wanting to blow his money at a restaurant with a silly theme and a warmed over, substandard menu that has scantily dressed servers. There are several of these types of chains, they're greasy spoons for frat types and middle aged men who want attention for the tips they give.

Him wanting to go for the novelty is a different matter than going specifically to ogle the servers in front of you; it's hard to determine from your posts which is the actual case. Either way, if dining there is important for him it's indicative that your priorities are widely divergent from his. It's not worth fighting over, but neither should you pretend to be the "cool girlfriend" and go somewhere that you feel uncomfortable about, whether or not his behavior contributes to making your feel that way.

May 13, 2014

I've been dating by bf for over a year, but we had a 6 month break in between. Been back together for 2 months now. He does not like or go to strip clubs. But recently, he said he wants us to go eat at the Heart Attack Grill in Pheonix, AZ, which is like Hooters, only with bustier women wearing skimpier, and more revealing clothing. We would go with a nother couple. I refuse to enter such an establishment. They make me very uncomfortable. These places cater to men. And I know my bf will be ogling the women and will be chatting them up, the whole time while I'm sitting beside him. I will feel completely disrespected.

So I told my bf politely but firmly that I do not want to go, but by all means go ahead without me. He asked why and seemed dissapointed. I don't want to make a big deal out of it and don't want him to think I can't handle it or that I'm insecure. What should I say or do if he asks me again to go?

I wouldn't want too either.

Firstly because he's not said "omg they do awesome food" they simply want to go to be perverts (which is probably the point of those joints but maybe do it without your missus there)

And I wouldn't want some chicks tatas in my face or food.

May 13, 2014

Stop worrying about what he will think & start thinking about making your needs known in a relationship.

You are right. I have a boundary that I will not cross. That boundary is, not going to those types of establishments. Thanks!

May 13, 2014

That's disrespectful unless the OP has stated she doesn't care.

OP, you DO care. So put your foot down. Don't tolerate it.

Yes, I do care. And I need to let my bf know.

May 13, 2014

"I'm not interested in eating there."
That's all you have to say.

Agreed.

What is the reason why, though, if not insecurity? I think you are being a little silly. Hooter's has great wings!

The wings are not so great.

Insecurity....perhaps. Like most women. Another more reasonable reason could be b/c men, in particular, are not going to such places primarily b/c of the food. It's silly to think they are. Men like to go there b/c they like to "check out" the scantily clad women.

That's the kind of thing I want to encourage my bf to do.....an insecure woman (as most) encouraging their man to look at other, more attractive, babes...sheesh.

May 13, 2014

No way would I go there. It isn't insecurity at all. It's that I don't go to tacky T&A places.

Totally tacky. Yuck!

May 13, 2014

So they bring you wine in a bloog bag on a pole, hospital drip style... if you don't finish your meal you get spanked (keep the paddle for six dollars, video straight up on their website!) and they state their veg option is tobacco.

What a super trashy place... obviously relies on shock value. The waitresses being dressed up as trashy nurses is the least offputting thing about the place!

Seriously though... what kind of guy wants to take his girlfriend to a place like that, with half naked ladies purposefully drawing attention? I'm no prude, but they're clearly one of the main draws of the restaurant, if he wanted to impress you/make you feel like the only girl he wants in the world he wouldn't suggest somewhere like this I don't think. I'm not at all jealous of my boyfriend seeing hot women, I know a gig he played the other night was a cabaret thing and also had burlesque on the bill (I couldn't attend) and didn't care even though it's basically stripping. But if he said 'hey babe, let's go out and eat here' at a place with waitresses in outfits like that I would tell him to take a hike. If he wants to enjoy my company he can do so without simultaneously enjoying ogling naked chicks.

I agree with this 100% and ewww. That place is so unappealing.

May 13, 2014

I've been dating by bf for over a year, but we had a 6 month break in between. Been back together for 2 months now. He does not like or go to strip clubs. But recently, he said he wants us to go eat at the Heart Attack Grill in Pheonix, AZ, which is like Hooters, only with bustier women wearing skimpier, and more revealing clothing. We would go with a nother couple. I refuse to enter such an establishment. They make me very uncomfortable. These places cater to men. And I know my bf will be ogling the women and will be chatting them up, the whole time while I'm sitting beside him. I will feel completely disrespected.

So I told my bf politely but firmly that I do not want to go, but by all means go ahead without me. He asked why and seemed dissapointed. I don't want to make a big deal out of it and don't want him to think I can't handle it or that I'm insecure. What should I say or do if he asks me again to go?

If he asks you again, just don't go. The best thing to do is to be honest to him about how you feel on it, because clearly it bothers you to an extent.

Edited May 13, 2014 by Shaun-Dro
error

May 13, 2014

So let me be sure I understand some posters correctly.

If there was a restaurant called "Peckers" that served wings and featured male servers in tight shorts or bathing suits who would rub up against women for tips, the guys here would be fine with it because... it's about the food, right?

May 13, 2014

How do you know this? Is it from experience, or are you making assumptions?

If it's from experience, IMO you have a valid gripe. It's perfectly reasonable to find it disrespectful if he is flat-out ogling and flirting with them! And in that case I think that might be the issue that you want to think about, not 'Heart Attack Grill' per se.

I also don't think it's 'insecure' to not want your partner to do that - if he wants to flirt around while in a R then he should look for a partner who is open to that, not guilt trip you into allowing it.

(I've never heard of the place, though, so I'll have to Google it... )

Great comments. Thanks! Yes, I know this from experience. But he doesn't do it every single time. Most of the time he won't comment. But I know he looks. Even when watching a movie and there's an attractive actress he'll sometimes comment saying, "Whoa! Hello!". Ugh. But I ignore his comments. He hasn't been doing it as often, and perhaps its because he knows I don't care or appreciate it anyway.

My exhusband used to go to strips clubs every week during the first year of marriage. I had such a hard time with it and we would get into fights over it all the time. My exh never saw anything wrong with going. But after a gazillion fights, he realized it wasn't worth going and stopped. It took a whole year.

I've told my bf about this and how much it bothered me. So I don't understand why he would even think I would want to go to this restaurant? He should understand. Anyway, we'll see what he says, if he even brings it up again. But I will stand my ground and not go.

May 13, 2014

This is a sign that he is not that into you. He wouldn't risk the ire of someone he really likes.

I know, right? He knows how much strip clubs bother me, why would he think I would want to go here. We'll see what happens -- if he pushes the issue with me or respects my wishes.

May 13, 2014

This. Why did you break up OP?

We were rebounds for each other and carried a lot of unresolved baggage. He wasn't fully in the relationship emotionally (walls were up), I was. This imbalance made me insecure and needy. He pulled back. Made me more needy. I ended it. The break gave us a chance to resolve the baggage, calm down, and become stronger on our own.

May 13, 2014

Wow! You don't need a new restaurant. You need a new boyfriend! It is a tasteless idea to take you there in the first place. When you add the fact that you told him you don't want to go there and he still pushes, he's a complete tool.

Doesn't sound like he cares much about how you feel. That's a deal breaker in and of itself.

Yeah, the only way I would go is if I went dressed as porno nurse, then flirted with every single male in there. But that would be my swan song. Because I would never go out with him again!

Really though, you are completely justified and right in your thinking. He's a disrespectful guy.

THANK YOU! Allelujia! Exactly my thoughts. Geeze. And, yes, would have to be a swan song. I almost want to go dressed as provocatively to see how he would feel. I remember once, I told him that I thought a coworker was crushing on me, and he got really upset with me. So can you imagine?

But really, you are right, for him to go, is almost a deal breaker. He should think that would be his swan song, ESPECIALLY, knowing I hate strip clubs, jc.

May 13, 2014

he said he wants us to go eat at the Heart Attack Grill in Pheonix, AZ,

Heart Attack Grill is world famous. I know about it even though I live on the opposite side of the continent (BC, Canada).

I wouldnt read too much into the scantily clad waitresses. That place is about the disgustingly unhealthy but amazingly so good food.

ie. "Heart Attack Grill". Its not about the waitresses. It's about coronary arrest

May 13, 2014

Seriously though... what kind of guy wants to take his girlfriend to a place like that, with half naked ladies purposefully drawing attention? I'm no prude, but they're clearly one of the main draws of the restaurant, if he wanted to impress you/make you feel like the only girl he wants in the world he wouldn't suggest somewhere like this I don't think. If he wants to enjoy my company he can do so without simultaneously enjoying ogling naked chicks.

SOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!

Really makes me wonder about who my bf really is and what he's about. And how he really feels about me and thinks of me to be so disrespectful.

On one hand, he is very considerate, thoughtful and helpful, but then he does **** like this. So opposite.

We'll see what happens during our trip to AZ. We're there next week. I hope he respects me and doesn't even bring it up. Ugh.

Thanks!

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He wants to eat at a place where waitresses are scantily dressed, I don't.

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