Sweeetie Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months, and we both love each other very much. Recently I applied for a 1-year teaching course that will start in September and I got an offer from a place that's a 2-hour train ride away from our city. I applied for this course in my city as well but didn't get a place anywhere. I heard about this offer last Friday and need to decide by 10 days whether I'm taking it or not. I've never lived away from home before. My boyfriend and I agreed that we would meet up atleast twice a month; every other weekend I would come home or he would come to visit me. However I told him that I am not sure if I will go because I would miss him too much. He knows how much the course will help me get a good career, and knows that it is the only place which gave me a place on the course. His reaction was "I'll make sure you go. I'll break up with you if you stay just because of me. That will let you make an independent decision where I am not the deciding factor." Even though this was a selfless reaction, it annoyed me because he jumped to this solution without waiting to persuade me to go in other ways first, without having to threaten this breakup. He could have tried every day for these 10 days to persuade me in other ways, and then use the breakup card as a last resort. It makes me feel he doesn't want to be with me that much, but he said he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness to make me do what's best for me. I believe him but why didn't he wait and use it as a last resort? He was quick to decide on this- during our first conversation about it! I got mad at him about it and he said "You might hate me now and view me as the worst person in the world, but I know that in the long-term you will be doing what will make you happy." It's so annoying, he is treating me like some kid! I wouldn't have let our relationship stop me from going even if we were together anyway; that was just the first reaction I had that I would miss him, but I am sensible enough to make the right decision when the time came! Does it seem that he was quick to breakup just for me- an entirely selfless reaction? Or does he not want to be with me all that much? Thank you for reading
mammasita Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 First - I totally understand how you feel, because I would be a bit insulted, understandably, as you are........ but take a step back and really think about it. Your BF is thinking BIG PICTURE...putting his love for you aside. This IMO, is the sign of a keeper. He was being 100% reasonable with his comment, considering facts, your life, long term and the future. I'll make sure you go. I'll break up with you if you stay just because of me. That will let you make an independent decision where I am not the deciding factor You were basing your comment on feelings and the here and now. However I told him that I am not sure if I will go because I would miss him too much Bottom line - get over it and cook him dinner 1
HappyLove Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 " However I told him that I am not sure if I will go because I would miss him too much." Yep, he's a keeper! You TOLD HIM you're not sure and he knows how important this is for your future. Thank God that you have such a caring man by your side wanting the best for you. Plenty of women stay back for their bf, then they become unemployed and he dumps them. Ladies ALWAYS take the job because if you don't you could end up with no job and no man! At least now you will have both and hopefully your relationship will become stronger. Don't be disappointed that he's willing to do what's best for the woman he loves! Have you seen the job market lately? Don't even joke about not going. He's a wise man. 3
Smilecharmer Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 He is right. You need to make responsible decisions for your future not based on a eight month romance.
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