John manning Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 So me and this girl started dating in october, we hit it off and a few weeks later we were together. We hadn't known each other long but we just clicked, spending a lot of time together. Our relationship was perfect for about 5-6 months then it took a little down turn. One week we argued non stop over nothing in particular just petty things that couples argue over. So on that saturday i suprised her after work with flowers and we were fine, but i couldnt help notice she was texting a boy, with the same name as me. About a week went on and I could tell she felt it wasnt right. So we sat down and decided it would be best to probably go on a break (break up). A week after was when it got complicated , I went round hers to discuss our situation, we were both so emotional and there were a lot of tears, but not long after we were in bed together. One morning We got into an argument even though we were broken up, because she felt i was flirting with one of her friends infront of her , it got heated and she told me she was going on a date but then the next day said it didnt happen in the end because he was busy with family. She said she still loved me and cared for me but getting back together wasnt for the best , even though it was the easiest thing to do. I am so confused , can someone give me any advice here?
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 The familiarity of your relationship is a draw for her. With you she knows what she's getting, which is how you ended up in bed together. She is a nice person & doesn't want to be the source of your pain -- hence the statements about loving you. These kinds of on going fights at 6 months which should still be the honeymoon phase indicate that this isn't a good healthy relationship. The drama & the other people . . . it's over. Let it be & move on.
Author John manning Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 We've both got a lot to deal with at the moment , a lot of stress that sometimes inadvertently goes towards each other
Elias33 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 The communication between you two seems so broken only at 6 months in. It also seems that she is being manipulative a bit. She says she is goig on a date, it got canceled, and now she loves you again. She is out for a reaction from you to somehow fit her needs. If she is willing to actually date someone else, I think the answer is clear, you should move along. Good luck.
Author John manning Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 Yea Looks like I'll just have to face it
Author John manning Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 How should i be looking at NC? As a way to get over her ? or as a way to try and get back togeter? Its so hard to stop thinking about it and finally move on when theres a shred of hope in your mind that it could all turn around , especially this break up has been so up and down.
KaliLove Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 There's a pinned post called the NC Guide. You'll find all your answers in there.
lauri Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Firstly, NC is a tool used to help regain yourself. You need to regain yourself control, your emotions, be happy and improve yourself before you can even think about being with someone, let alone an ex. You need to realize talking to your ex, begging, pleading and being "available" is only going to push your chances of ever getting back together from slim to zero. A lot of the reasons is because you are a mess, because you will beg and you will have no control of yourself / emotions. If you want a chance to get back with an ex, you have to be fully over them. In the end, when that time comes when your ex contacts you...you will be able to make a sound decision. You probably wouldn't jump right at the chance of being with your ex (like myself when it happened) and realize they weren't right for you. NC is the only way to go - but do it for yourself, not for someone who thought you weren't good enough. Remember - they had their chance and now the best revenge for yourself is moving on and finding someone who will never hurt you. 3
Author John manning Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 I'm at that point in the break up where im looking for absolutely anything positive to hang onto. Theres been glimmers of hope here and there but its been 2 weeks of NC and its getting hard now. My mind wondered back to our last conversation of our break up (more sad than anything really as it was a clean break up) We both have eachothers jackets that are sprayed with each others favourite perfume/aftershave. I genuinely didn't want mine back because it wouldn't have a use , she also didn't want hers back but it was her favourite hoody , she'd always wear it around her house. Now my question is , did she want me to keep it so that it makes me think of her ? if so is that a good thing or bad thing? Or does she not want it back because it will remind her of me too much and she just wants to get over me . Any and all replies are hugely appreciated , I joined a few days ago and reading other peoples posts have made me feel strong in my weakest times.
David87 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 She doesn't care about that jacket and she definitely wants to move on. You should do the same....because she aint coming back.. 1
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 We know you want something positive however there isn't anything. It's over and done with it's finished. Continue with nc and move on slowly. Sitting holding on to hope is going to hold you back. Let it go 2
Author John manning Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 I have a slight problem , We're both still in school and we're still in NC, we have the same friendship group , are still comfortable around eachother and have the same exams so its inevitable that i'm going to see her , What do i do?
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