what does it take to be more than breadcrumbs?

[PhillyConnection23]

So basically we all fell in love with ****ty people who ended it with us when we should of ended it with them ?

 

What sucks is I don't think my ex was a ****ty person. Far from it.

 

She didn't leave me for another guy or anything like that. She just really thought we were at two different places in life and weren't heading in the same direction. When she broke up with me she was saying all kinds of things about us 20 years in the future or comparing us to her parents.

 

Clearly she thought a lot about it but the fact that she barely communicated the severity of these thoughts to me is troublesome.

 

But the further I move away and the easier each day becomes the more I realize I want to spend my life with her. I want to make it work. Not today, not this week, not even in the next few months. But after spending some time on myself I'm pretty confident I'll reach out to her and see if we can get a cup of coffee.

[Zapbasket]

 

But the further I move away and the easier each day becomes the more I realize I want to spend my life with her. I want to make it work. Not today, not this week, not even in the next few months. But after spending some time on myself I'm pretty confident I'll reach out to her and see if we can get a cup of coffee.

 

And in your situation, provided you both are true in expression and intent and to yourself, that might work out beautifully.

 

I have to believe that sometimes it's just timing, and after some solitary reflection on both people's parts, the chance for reconciliation is good.

 

But I must ask: Is it possible that she said those things to you when what she REALLY meant was that she sees you two as incompatible? Or do you feel you can take her words at face value?

 

I ask because my ex said to me, "I need to focus on myself," and then I found him on a dating site. And there is NO WAY his troubles--deep unhappiness with his career direction, a sense of being lost, deep insecurity--got worked through in the months we've been apart.

[PhillyConnection23]

But I must ask: Is it possible that she said those things to you when what she REALLY meant was that she sees you two as incompatible? Or do you feel you can take her words at face value?

 

I ask because my ex said to me, "I need to focus on myself," and then I found him on a dating site. And there is NO WAY his troubles--deep unhappiness with his career direction, a sense of being lost, deep insecurity--got worked through in the months we've been apart.

 

Its definitely something I've been mulling over in the back of my head. There are a million different interpretations and a million things both of us could have done differently.

 

I think, like you said, it was timing. It was a perfect storm of difficult situations and she thought that in the future, maybe not immediately but at some undefined point in time we wouldn't work out. Is that incompatibility? I can't say but with enough time I'm willing to try again.