dontgiveuponme Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 So i break NC the other day because my friend told me my ex open up to her and said its all my fault why he broke up with me. He said im very jealous and moody and that pushes him away to another girl.He somehow comeback after 2 weeks and apologize but the pain from both sides was still there.Me feeling betrayed and him being angry to me coz he said he give everything to me and nver cheated yet im still jealous and paranoid. I admit i am but the first 6 months of our relationship is ok until he gave me his fb password and i read the convo he had with this girl and how they keep meeting for lunch or night out while he is in a relationship with me(Its LDR and he do that while on his country)..and some flirty messages exchanged..I told him that and he deleted the girl. I somehow trust him again but i trust him more when he is in his country because he said hes only interested with asian girls(and that girl he used to flirt with is a thai girl)but whenever he comes here in my country i started to feel insecure and jealous because he gives me reason to...Hes such an attention seeker sometimes and he loves people complimenting him most of the times. He said back in his country people hardly noticed him but here people likes foreigners and in my city u can hardly see young foreigner walking around its always really old foreigners with young girls lol...and so he loves the attention.Hes "too friendly" aswell that girls misunderstood it as flirting and so they flirt back.There are times where its too obvious he is staring at someone elses butt for like 2 minutes lol.He said he loves me and hes just friendly but its uncomfortable in my part that sometimes i just keep really quiet when i feel jealous and he will think im being moody and he dont like it. Anyways i said sorry if i hurt him but i also told him i wont ask another chance to be back with him and im just happy i said everything i need to say for the last time.He then reply why am i being like this that one minute he feels like i hate him so much and push him away while we are together and one minute i talk things he really wants to hear and it messes up with his head lol.he also said maybe we wont end up together right now but that doesnt mean we wont have a chance in the future and also if my visa will be granted he will still bring me to UK to see what hes place looks like. Im not expecting anymore and whenever i feel vulnerable i just think im lucky i dont need to deal with jealousy when im with him.I got a friend who got a foreigner bf too and said he only met me 3 times but he never thinks im moody and said my friend is way more moody than me. I will let him find a new gf and see if he can find someone who got no feelings lol..I also see he keeps adding lots of girls from my city recently and keep liking their pics.One day he will realized all those things i did to him..Yes i maybe jealous but he gives me reason too.But i take care of him all the time.When he is sick,the breakfast i prepared in the morning for him,the massage,me stroking his hair while we are watching our fave tv show and lots of things. I will find someone one day that is worth everything i do.but i cant shake the guilt in my mind sometimes that its me who cause it.
ayala Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Here's the funny thing about blame. You can point out each others' faults but it's harder to see your own. People will find others to blame in hopes to avoid being the perpetrator. He gave you reason to mistrust him. There will always be consequences once someone outside the relationship is involved. Attention seeking is his issue. He's insecure and wants to be noticed, it's his weakness and he wants to hide it by getting the attention he craves. But it reflects on you, how he feels its not enough for him to get the attention from you. Again, it's his own insecurity, not yours. Don't let someone else let you take all the blame. Your relationship involved two people. It's okay to be jealous. Just don't be controlling. The more freedom you give, the more you'll see the real him - for who they are and the clearer your decisions/choices will be. A relationship will make you better or break you. You'll find someone who will appreciate you, who is secure with you and who wouldn't give you reason to mistrust them. Someone who will share the blame and accept their flaws. In turn, you'll be accepting, secure and strong. 2
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