What is it you are doing to keep yourself from being successful in.....

[joystickd]

dating/relationships?

 

It's easy to point the finger at the opposite gender and say all men/women want this. It's cool a few times to have some issues. If you keep having them its YOU! I see people with the same complaints and lack the honesty to point out they are the reason they have issues with the opposite sex.

It's one thing to meet one to two golddiggers, players or men that push for sex early but when you consistently complain about the same thing then the problem is YOU

 

What are you doing to hold yourself back? Be honest.

[Strength in Healing]

My mom died when I was 9 and now I seek relationships and am too kind in them just to keep them around, which ironically pushes them away.

[hotpotato]

I care too much. That's the problem.

[todreaminblue]

wanting to only see good in guys i date so i put blinkers on......when they dotn deserve blinkers......

 

i have often compromised my own values and beliefs to help guys and i get dragged down

 

then i am ignoring flags and signals...

 

 

.i give chances when i shouldnt ...

 

 

i forgive things i shouldnt

 

 

i believe i can help them change into what i see and know about them that is good......

 

 

i try too hard

 

i never give up .........unless they give up on me first..........

 

 

i wont change who i am or how i treat people

 

 

 

i need to be with a good guy... a guy similar to me...same values and beliefs who will treat me with respect for all i do and appreciate who i am, who will be honest with me

 

 

i have found wrong guys......i have wanted to believe i could change them because nearly everyone on this planet has good qualities....... i have always tried to enrich a guys life whom i am with, build them up, make life better,make them laugh a lot, make that guy stronger which i do...i just need to find the guy who wants to do the same thing in return and want to fill up my life with a few laughs and commitment....i dont think what i do is a problem if i had the right guy to be that way with....and i dont believe i should not put my heart in to it...all the things i do ...straight from the heart....and yeah i meet wrong guys doesnt everyone.....heres to hopin...have loads of that........deb

[hotpotato]

...Being friends with a previous ex. Guys I date or talk to dont like it. We are fairly close. We have known each other for nearly 8 years. Having him around makes me less inclined to date.

He understands me, and is welcome in my life as long as he wants to be.

 

 

I try too hard to make things work. At this point, im tired of carrying relationships.

Edited May 14, 2014 by hotpotato

[somedude81]

I'm not aggressive enough with women I'm interested in. I need to flirt harder, be bold and just not give a sh*t.

 

I'm too easily defeated and let the losses hurt me more than they should.

 

Can I change this? Hopefully.

[Targetlock]

it all comes back to my poor self-esteem and confidence caused by all manner of silly issues but I'm trying to work on those and not worry too much about other peoples opinions of me.

[joystickd]

I'm not aggressive enough with women I'm interested in. I need to flirt harder, be bold and just not give a sh*t.

 

I'm too easily defeated and let the losses hurt me more than they should.

 

Can I change this? Hopefully.

You can change it. You just have to change your beliefs. Beliefs are a powerful thing. People die from believing in something so much their bodies shut down.

[somedude81]

You can change it. You just have to change your beliefs. Beliefs are a powerful thing. People die from believing in something so much their bodies shut down.

 

I have to change my beliefs and just stop caring.

 

You're right that beliefs are very powerful. They also aren't easily changed.

 

I consider myself to be very rigid. In order for me to change a belief to something else, I need proof that is that way. For example I just can't tell myself that women like me and enjoy my company. I need to experience it first hand and see it to be real.

 

Sadly the things I have experienced with women have been the basis for my current beliefs about myself.

[joystickd]

I have to change my beliefs and just stop caring.

 

You're right that beliefs are very powerful. They also aren't easily changed.

 

I consider myself to be very rigid. In order for me to change a belief to something else, I need proof that is that way. For example I just can't tell myself that women like me and enjoy my company. I need to experience it first hand and see it to be real.

 

Sadly the things I have experienced with women have been the basis for my current beliefs about myself.

The proof is out there. Trust me I have been in your same position.

[joystickd]

Honestly my biggest problem is that I'm conflicted about whether I want to be in a relationship or not. A lot of bad experiences recently I have had were because of that. People can sense indecisiveness. I commend you all for being honest with yourself unlike many others that stick to the finger pointing and not developing the awareness to see their own contributions to their lack of success.

[ASG]

Honestly? I sabotage myself most of the time. I *know* I go for the emotionally unavailable men because then there is no danger of finding myself in a relationship.

 

I try to fight this, obviously, but it's not something I can control 100%

[d0nnivain]

Back when I was single, I wasn't putting myself out there enough. You can't only rely on OLD. You have to be part of the real world too. I was only going to the same places with the same people where there were no men I wanted to date. I had to get the courage to go to singles events & learn to smile & say hello to strangers.