singhnatasha903 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 so i moved to a small town for work recently, and met this guy,adam, hes a landscape architect. turns out he shares an apartment with a girl, ann (a week after moving i ran into ann at a bar, met her through my office mates, she very clearly made it out to be that her and adam were together) when i met him next i casually mentioned having hung out with his girlfriend and he said he didnt have one. in any case, 2 weeks down the line a friend was hosting a dinner to welcome me, and adam came too, he came alone- and he cleans up NICE. when anne got there she looked a little annoyed because he hadnt waited for her. there was 0 chemistry with them, he and i chatted a lot, and then he left the dinner by himself because he had an early trip out of town. a couple of days ago he was at my house gardening, after we were done he asked if i was hungry. we went to lunch, had a great time, and then he asked what i was up to that night (he hardly ever goes out, but he was all up to party with me) and when i told him my plans to go out with some friends he said hed come too. wierdly, that evening i got a text from him saying he couldnt make it, no explanations. the day after that, i was trying to call him for some work, and when he didn't pick up i decided to pass by his house as it was on the way to my office, as i got to the gate i saw him and anne walking out the same room onto the balcony. he looked wrung out, and not very happy. i didnt even get out of the car, just i asked him what i had to and drove off as he was asking me what doing now, pretending not to hear him. we havnt spoken since, its been 2 days. my plan of action? let it go. anyone with any other advice?
Author singhnatasha903 Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 thats the thing... you think hes playing around? a friend of mine suggested that possibly theyve been hooking up for a while and now maybe hes a little into me but he doesnt know how to break that up. but in any case none of that matters cause if he was really into me, hed do something about it right?
Assasda Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 Well, tyoure new in his life, you dont know anything about him yet. Continue to go out with him and have fun, until it becomes more serious. You can still have fun for right now. As far as I see, he's not doing anything wrong, and youre not doing much wrong either 2
ExpatInItaly Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 thats the thing... you think hes playing around? a friend of mine suggested that possibly theyve been hooking up for a while and now maybe hes a little into me but he doesnt know how to break that up. but in any case none of that matters cause if he was really into me, hed do something about it right?[/QUOTE] Yep. I would back off for a little while. You don't want to be dragged into their drama. And I tend to agree with your friend; it sounds as though they do have a relationship of some sorts (possibly only physical) and that he's still enmeshed in that. 1
Chocolat Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 This has drama written all over it. If/when Adam and Anne are no longer living together and any R between them has been dissolved, then and only then should you consider dating Adam. 1
Author singhnatasha903 Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 thank you all. yup hes a wierd one... i had to call him today because i was going to see a house which belongs to a friend, and the friend had mentioned wanting his help and he has asked me to tell him when i was going next. i called him at 10 am. he didnt call me back. i sent him a text a little bit ago saying "went to sharon's today, whats going on with you? youve fallen off the grid". no reply. so really im done now. im having a get together at my house this week (hed asked me last time we met when my next one is) but i dont think im going to invite him after all :/ im a little pissed off now.
Author singhnatasha903 Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 thanks...but yeh i think we women tend to sell ourselves short way too often. this is just drama for no reason and unnecessary stress. yup if or when he makes any legit effort, we'l see then. thank you all though, its good to get perspective from strangers appreciate it
jessywalshe Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 No problem sing......that's why I came on here myself sure! :-) 1
Author singhnatasha903 Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 haha yea. people that know you personally usually cant give a totally unbiased opinion.
jessywalshe Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 No they can't because if you ask their opinion its because they must be important enough in your life for you to bring up the worry. So that means you are also important to them, so therefore they care about you and don't want to see you hurt. So their natural reaction is to shield you from any other hurt. They will automatically tell you to leave him because they will feel...... this person is hurting my friend/family member. I don't know him so I don't care about him, just her. She is hurt, remove him, then she won't be hurt. At the point where we need advice, we are not ready to remove him, otherwise we would do and wouldn't need advice. So therefore outsiders point of view is really good. They not emotionally involved, and give you good advice based on their advice based on their own experiences. This is exactly what this site is for and is obviously very much needed. Jessy
Recommended Posts